So one of my friends found out about my self Harm (she saw my wrists) and she was quite supportive but she then pressured me to tell another friend who then told two more of my friends and none of them have told anyone else yet. The first person, like a month after she found out she came to me and said that she’s been cutting for the passed two days so when I asked why she said I’m extremely depressed and then laughed and then the friend that told everyone cane to me and said that she self harms because she thinks that her girlfriend is “extremely depressed ” because of her. But nowwww the second girl is blackmailing me she says things like if you don’t let me [punch,kick etc..] you then I’ll tell everyone and she said if I tell anyone about her blackmailing me then not only will she tell everyone she’ll film me (doing something like getting changed for pe or going to the toilet) and posting it online I really don’t know what to do and I can’t even tell the school because they’ll talk to her and she’ll know it was me. Please help! Sorry for this long message....she constantly beats me up people keep thinking my parents abuse me and then say I’m attention seeking and it’s getting wayyyy out of hand please help... thank you ~ Corey
Hello, first of all I’m really sorry to hear of your situation. This must be really difficult for you and I want to start by saying how brave it is that you’ve come somewhere for advice. To start, it was unfair if your friend to pressure you into telling more people, self harm is a very personal struggle and it was really brave of you to come forward and tell someone about it. The girl who is blackmailing you doesn’t sound like much of a friend, and although it seems like a scary thing to do, I think telling an adult is the best step forward here. What she’s doing is not okay, threatening and physically harming you are very wrong and if the school find out, they may be able to take steps to stop this, such as excluding her or ensuring she’s not in any lessons you’re in. You may want to tell a parent/carer first, as they may also be able to help and offer emotional support. I’m also wondering if your friends know about this? Would they be able to stay around you so she doesn’t have a chance be mean? I hope this clears up for you soon, nobody should have to feel this way. Emmy x
How to not care about what other people think about me?
Hi Afia, thank you for getting in touch.
This is something I completely understand and I thought about it for years. Throughout my teenage years I have watched other people live care free and I was so jealous. What I’ve taught myself is that nobody’s opinion matters but my own. If I like it, I’ll do it. If I don’t, I won’t. Its a journey I had with myself that has taken until the age of 17 to conquer and I think I’m getting there. To not care about others opinions is to have an outlook on the world that is surrounding yourself. Again, only care about what you think and if people try to tell you otherwise or disagree with you, you can either take it into account constructively or disregard it. It’s easier said than done, but the more you practice and the more you tell yourself positive things the easier it is to achieve. - Courtney xx
How can I deal with stress?
Stress can be a difficult emotion to cope with, it can leave us feeling upset, angry, and unsure of what to do. A really good way to deal with stress is to distract yourself, whether that be watching a film you love, listening to music, going out with friends/family, etc.., they can all help you to take your mind off things. Sometimes it's also good to get it out, and some people have different ways of doing that. Some people like to talk to people, it can help them express their emotions and get support back, others like a more physical way of getting it out, such as exercise. If you're finding yourself stressed for a long period of time, you may also want to look into counselling as a way to relieve stress and get help with dealing with it. Emmy x
How to deal with not a friend but they're in your friendship group who acts the victim in situations he has created? Especially when all your friends then side with him because he's "having a hard time"? It makes me feel incredibly isolated even though I've done nothing wrong and he just creates drama out of boredom.
Be empathetic when around this person, and try to understand why they are doing what they are doing. Yet also allow yourself to see situations he may be trying to manipulate and don’t let yourself get drawn in. When you feel like it’s happening, bring it to his attention. Point out what he is doing and how it’s affecting you.
If this doesn’t work, when there is a situation it may just be best to distance yourself until it all dies down and not get caught up in it. Taz
How to handle failing an exam?
Failing exams can be really hard, whether or not you expected a better grade or not originally. You may also be feeling pressure from teachers, peers, and parents to do with your grades, and this can make the situation worse. If you've done all you can, that's important to remember. So longs as you're trying your hardest, that's all you can do and that's something to be proud of. You can also use it as something to learn from, look at where you went wrong and work on improving it, this can give it a more positive spin. Emmy
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