Trigger Warning - Suicidal Thoughts and Tendencies
Hi, so I’ve been feeling really suicidal lately and it’s got to the point where even talking to my girlfriend isn’t helping, I spoke to my GP about it and was basically told not to worry about it, and that it would pass, it’s been two weeks since then and I’m still feeling suicidal and it’s getting harder for me not to do anything, what do I do?
Hey there. First of all I want to say that if you do feel suicidal and like you’ll do something harmful please please call 999 (or the emergency services wherever you’re from), they will be able to give you more immediate crisis help than your GP. From my own experience, GP’s are pretty reluctant to refer anyone to mental health services because of how many people need them, so my main piece of advice is keep going back. Keep asking and persist that you aren’t feeling any better and you need help. Maybe look to see if there are any local charities that offer counselling or therapy for free in the meantime, places like YPAS in Liverpool where I’m from really really helped me, and most cities have some sort of service like that. You can always look at our articles on suicidal thoughts, but I understand that sometimes you may just want a fix to the problem rather than to just read about it. I’m sending all my love for what it’s worth, you have a purpose in this life, things really do get better and I’d hate to know you didn’t make it to tomorrow.
My name is Diana, I’ve been getting closer with my friend Parmeda and Tanya and Orla. However I caught feelings for Parmeda. I didn’t want to tell her because I didn’t know her sexuality and I didn’t want to risk our friendship. I ended up telling one of my other friends Zen because I busted didn’t want to bottle it up but now I regret it because Zen went and told Mary, my ex who told Tanya who told Parmeda. Tanya came up to me on her own and told me that Parmeda knew and asked me if it was true. I said yes. So then I was upset. Because I wasn’t ready for anyone to know, my friends. But it was too late. It’s been two days since ppl found out and Parmeda said she needs time to think. To me it was clear that she was stressed. So I made a plan. I told Parmeda today that I didn’t actually like her and that I was just confused. The first thing she said and can I just mention that she said it *immediately* was ‘Thank God!’ I got the message. She looked so relieved and honestly that really upset me but I didn’t show it we then went to go tell Tanya and Orla about it. Also today Tanya looked super upset and angry and she told Parmeda earlier that it was about this whole situation. I didn’t understand why she was affected that much so I asked her. She started crying and was saying how when we have a problem it affects her too because she gets dragged into it. I honestly got a bit annoyed by that because I didn’t drag her in it she involved herself she decided to tell Parmeda that I liked her which started the whole situation. But ok. I had to leave because I have an appointment. But yeah I need some advice with what to do about this. I’m sorry that it’s long but I felt that you needed to know everything h from the start to understand it. Anyways thank you to whoever reads it. I hope u can help me.
Hi Diana. I'm really sorry that this has happened to you. Being outed in any way by your friends sucks, and it can be really difficult to recover from.
Personally, I would have a conversation with your friend Tanya about how it was unfair to you for her to do that behind your back, and how that made you feel. If Tanya was a true friend, she would apologise and understand how those actions can affect other people.
I also think you should come clean to Parmeda if you feel comfortable enough, as lying and hiding things from your friends could cause more issues later down the line. Again, if Parmeda was a true friend, she would understand your feelings and if she didn't feel the same way, she wouldn't let that affect your friendship. I think that her saying 'Oh Thank God' wasn't meant to be malicious, perhaps she was worried about how it would affecr your friendship?
Please talk to your friends! Communication is the most important thing in any relationship or friendship, and if you can't talk about how you feel, then there won't be any trust! I hope this helps somewhat. -Kaitlyn
I've gotten to be quite good at giving advice for situations concerning mental health (i’m obviously not a professional it’s just I've had a lot of time with no support just my own thoughts and as much as they haven’t gotten better I've started understanding them from a deeper almost psychological point of view and I've gotten to be very understanding and sympathetic and good at advice even things i haven’t personally dealt with) but my friend is in a similar situation to me and i don’t know what she could use as a healthier coping mechanism. she seeks validation from romantic partners and we spoke about it and she explained why she did it and i said it would be worth finding something else that gives you validation (i have no problem with people having lots of relationships it’s just that she’s explained she does it because she doesn’t feel worthy and wants to feel worth from someone else but then she said it was getting exhausting constantly looking for someone to leech off for a while) but then she asked what kind of things she could do to get validation and i made some bland not that useful suggestions but told her overall i didn’t really know as I've never been in that situation and i’m in no way trying to be a “counsellor” or trying to cure her of her mental illnesses but she is willing to try new coping mechanisms and i want to be there for her and try to help ya know (also i came off this website for a while and now I've come back it’s looking great well done to everyone on the team)
Hey Harriet! Thank you for reaching out to us! The one coping mechanism that helps me is when I draw out what's going through my mind. I find it can help relieve the stress but also when you can come back to it and add things to it, making it your own create work of art.
I found this article that might help with your friend too; https://thoughtcatalog.com/alexis-dizenzo/2016/08/how-to-deal-with-your-love-addiction/
Let me know if this helps! Also, thank you for your positive comment! We've gained so many new members over the past few months! - Mel
Hi I'm struggling with controlling my anger and it's hard to stop when I'm angry so I was just wondering for any advise
I find a good way to cope with anger is to put it into doing something productive.
When I'm angry it sometimes helps to do some exercise and just let out any built up tension. And, if you have a punch bag (like the ones they use in boxing) it is aleays fun to let your frustation out onto that. Like a Rocky training montage!!
Hope this helps and all the best,
I’ve literally been crying ever night, (stressing, overthinking etc) about my sexuality. It’s so hard for me to determine. I currently have a boyfriend. But I’ve had so many feelings for girls. I just don’t know what to do. I was solidified on being bisexual. But I’m now realizing something isn’t right. I need advice. :((
Hey I'm Mel, I'm a member of TWE! With accepting yourself that's a huge step so well done for that not may people can! But with your boyfriend does he know about you being bisexual? If not then I think you should sit him down to talk about it. But this will determinate if he truly supports & loves you or who you are.
But the other side of this is, are you happy with being in a relationship with a boy? I have been through this exact same thing so you're not alone there!
I've been seeing this girl for a few months, we have just been chatting and seeing movies, nothing serious has happened but last night I took her out and kissed her and it felt really wrong. I really liked this guy but now I can't stand the thought of her. What's going on?
Hey I'm a member of TWE and I've been in a similar situation before.
I was really close friends with this guy and we even ended up dating, but something about it didn't seem right because I felt too uncomfortable to kiss him or do anything more than hold hands. I ended up breaking up with him because I realised that I actually liked him more as a close friend than anything else.
So my advice would be to consider whether or not you feel you do like them as more than friends before you do anything else. This could be by writing lists of what you like about them, and what good things they can bring into your life too.
I have a problem. I think I might be gay and I don't know how to tell my girlfriend...
Hi Timo, I want to start with telling you that you're not alone, thousand of people go through this so don't fret. I think the best thing you can do is be honest with her, tell her that you don't want any judgement and I'm confident she'll be behind you 100%. As she's your girlfriend she defiantly respects you and loves you for you, being gay isn't going to change that, after all, it's not something that you can help. I'm sure you know but being gay is okay and the whole TWE team will be behind you while you take this big step. Don't hesitate to reach out again if you'd like further help! :)
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