How do you know if your asexual or just immature? Can you be asexual if you aren’t disgusted by the mention of sex, but would never think about that sort of situation in respect to yourself? (Sorry if any of that sounded offensive, I’m a little confused myself and your comments about your earlier confusion resonated with what I’m feeling).
Hi Kate! Thank you for contacting us. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or having a low interest in or desire for sexual activity. Asexuality does not necessarily have to be finding the idea of sexual activity disgusting, or being disgusted by it.
The first thing to consider is how you would react to being in a situation which involves sexual activity. If you think you would be totally uninterested or have no sexual attraction, then it is possible! It could be, however, that you simply do not like them enough to feel comfortable having sexual interactions with them.
My best advice would be to see how you feel in different sexual activities and interactions. If you feel negatively towards them, it is possible you could be asexual, and it would be worth looking into it more!
Another factor to consider is your age and maturity levels. If you're not of consenting age, that could be why you never think about the situation. Chances are you won't think about it unless you're of consenting age to it. I don't think maturity levels would determine whether or not you think of yourself in a sexual situation, however if you have quite a low maturity level it may explain why you could be immature when thinking about anything sexual.
Good luck! I hope you work things out! Katie x
Hey Teens with experience
My sexuality has been something I have struggled with for 4 years. I never thought about it, I always assumed I was straight (the default right?) until a girl I was talking to in class asked me what my sexuality was, I new she was Bi and I hesitated. I answered with "I never thought about it". This has haunted me since, why did I hesitate?
Since then I kinda repressed it until recently when I watched something that made all my questioning resurfaced. I wouldn't care except it's affecting my everyday life. I have never been sexually attracted to anyone so I thought I was maybe asexual? But I can imagine myself being romantic and sexual with people of any gender? Nothing repulses me and I don't know if this is because I'm not bothered by the LGBT+ community, or because I have a very strong imagination?
I just really want to learn who I am, I feel like part of myself is missing, I feel like I don't know myself.
Hi Laila, thanks so much for contacting us here at TWE! Sexuality can be a difficult thing to navigate, and questioning it is something many young people experience at some point. Being a teenager is the time when people become aware of their romantic interest, and also start to experiment a bit for some, so it's totally natural for you to be beginning to think about your sexuality.
However, if thinking about your sexuality is becoming an issue for you, it's a great think you've reached out for help. Although I can fully understand that not being able to identify yourself with a particular group or label such as bi, asexual, gay, etc.. can be difficult and leave you feeling lost, many people actually go through life without calling themselves anything, and focus on what they like without worrying about what to call themselves. Your sexuality is a big part of you, so if you're trying to work out what it is you like, perhaps try to focus more on exactly that, knowing what you do and don't like, instead of trying to work out what term you fit under. Also, you may not know for a while now exactly what you like, and that's also okay! Don't rush into anything, just make sure that whatever happens, you're comfortable and happy with it, it doesn't matter who it is (or isn't) with, and who knows, perhaps along the way you'll work out how you'd like to identify. For now though, just know that lots of young people go through your situation, and it's completely okay to not know who you are just yet, just try to focus on whatever makes you happy!
All the best - Emmy
How do you know you are asexual? I'm 16 and have never felt any attraction to anyone in that way but I don't know if it's because I have no attraction to the people I've met or if it is just the way I am.
With knowing that you're asexual, its all personal. Theres no set guidelines with being asexual, its different for every person. Its all personal, but if you believe you are then you may be :) - Elizabeth
You can find articles on asexual here. You can find 4 articles focused on Asexuality, feel free to contact us if you have any questions.- Emily
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