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Advice

Catching feelings

29/3/2020

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My name is Diana, I’ve been getting closer with my friend Parmeda and Tanya and Orla. However I caught feelings for Parmeda. I didn’t want to tell her because I didn’t know her sexuality and I didn’t want to risk our friendship. I ended up telling one of my other friends Zen because I busted didn’t want to bottle it up but now I regret it because Zen went and told Mary, my ex who told Tanya who told Parmeda. Tanya came up to me on her own and told me that Parmeda knew and asked me if it was true. I said yes. So then I was upset. Because I wasn’t ready for anyone to know, my friends. But it was too late. It’s been two days since ppl found out and Parmeda said she needs time to think. To me it was clear that she was stressed. So I made a plan. I told Parmeda today that I didn’t actually like her and that I was just confused. The first thing she said and can I just mention that she said it *immediately* was ‘Thank God!’ I got the message. She looked so relieved and honestly that really upset me but I didn’t show it we then went to go tell Tanya and Orla about it. Also today Tanya looked super upset and angry and she told Parmeda earlier that it was about this whole situation. I didn’t understand why she was affected that much so I asked her. She started crying and was saying how when we have a problem it affects her too because she gets dragged into it. I honestly got a bit annoyed by that because I didn’t drag her in it she involved herself she decided to tell Parmeda that I liked her which started the whole situation. But ok. I had to leave because I have an appointment. But yeah I need some advice with what to do about this. I’m sorry that it’s long but I felt that you needed to know everything h from the start to understand it. Anyways thank you to whoever reads it. I hope u can help me.
​Diana
Hi Diana. I'm really sorry that this has happened to you. Being outed in any way by your friends sucks, and it can be really difficult to recover from.

Personally, I would have a conversation with your friend Tanya about how it was unfair to you for her to do that behind your back, and how that made you feel. If Tanya was a true friend, she would apologise and understand how those actions can affect other people.

I also think you should come clean to Parmeda if you feel comfortable enough, as lying and hiding things from your friends could cause more issues later down the line. Again, if Parmeda was a true friend, she would understand your feelings and if she didn't feel the same way, she wouldn't let that affect your friendship. I think that her saying 'Oh Thank God' wasn't meant to be malicious, perhaps she was worried about how it would affecr your friendship?

Please talk to your friends! Communication is the most important thing in any relationship or friendship, and if you can't talk about how you feel, then there won't be any trust! I hope this helps somewhat. -Kaitlyn
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On the edge

10/1/2020

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Hi, so I’ve been feeling really suicidal lately and it’s got to the point where even talking to my girlfriend isn’t helping, I spoke to my GP about it and was basically told not to worry about it, and that it would pass, it’s been two weeks since then and I’m still feeling suicidal and it’s getting harder for me not to do anything, what do I do?
Hey there. First of all I want to say that if you do feel suicidal and like you’ll do something harmful please please call 999 (or the emergency services wherever you’re from), they will be able to give you more immediate crisis help than your GP. From my own experience, GP’s are pretty reluctant to refer anyone to mental health services because of how many people need them, so my main piece of advice is keep going back. Keep asking and persist that you aren’t feeling any better and you need help. Maybe look to see if there are any local charities that offer counselling or therapy for free in the meantime, places like YPAS in Liverpool where I’m from really really helped me, and most cities have some sort of service like that. You can always look at our articles on suicidal thoughts, but I understand that sometimes you may just want a fix to the problem rather than to just read about it. I’m sending all my love for what it’s worth, you have a purpose in this life, things really do get better and I’d hate to know you didn’t make it to tomorrow.
Kaitlyn


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Depression. Not attention.

9/5/2018

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I think I may have depression but my parents and none of my friends will believe me and just think I want attention. How do I know for sure if I have it. Samantha
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Hi Samantha! Thanks for getting in touch with us. If you think you have depression, the best thing to do would be to go to see your doctor. A medical professional is the only person who can diagnose you, and if they find you do have depression, there are lots of things they can suggest to help you, such as counselling, which is completely confidential if you don't want to tell anyone. I hope if you do decide to tell your friends or family, that they are nice, perhaps if you were comfortable you could bring them to a second doctors appointment if they do find you have depression? That way the doctor could speak to them about it. Good luck! - Emmy

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Don't always fake it till you make it

20/7/2017

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I've read the articles on how to be confident, but I can't quite hack the ability to 'fake it till I make it'. I think that maybe the key is self love, but i can't quite acquire that ability either. I don't even know where to begin on either of these aspects of myself, any advice?
Kaci
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In all honesty, I don't think you should fake it. Self-love and confidence should be true, and real otherwise it's just going to feel fake. I'd say try by just wearing something you feel damn good in, take some selfies, post them on Instagram. Wear make-up if you need to. You could also try just doing something that makes you feel proud of yourself. So drawing something, completing a project, this will make you feel proud of yourself, and lead to you believing in yourself, and hopefully self-confidence! x
Robyn

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Am I Asexual?

20/7/2017

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How do you know you are asexual? I'm 16 and have never felt any attraction to anyone in that way but I don't know if it's because I have no attraction to the people I've met or if it is just the way I am.

​Stacey
With knowing that you're asexual, its all personal. Theres no set guidelines with being asexual, its different for every person. Its all personal, but if you believe you are then you may be :) - Elizabeth

You can find articles on asexual here. You can find 4 articles focused on Asexuality, feel free to contact us if you have any questions.- Emily
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A horrible, awful, terrible feeling

13/5/2017

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I've been feeling really horrible and awful and I don't know what to do 
​Kai
Hello Kai!
Sometimes feelings and mental states can take a great big 180 turn, something you're probably unfortunately aware of.

It's hard to do anything when feeling this way so the fact you've asked for advice is brilliant.
When I use to get these feelings, I use to ensure to take 5 to 10 mins out of my day to completely focus on these feeling and just rummage around in my head. What am I actually fearing right now? 

Although this can be daunting, for me it greatly helped. I'd imagine each thought being filed into a cabinet to organise them or, if it really bothered me, going straight into the shredder. 

Make sure you are being as up front with your feelings when possible and give yourself a chance to let it burst out. 

DON'T MAKE YOUR FEELINGS INTO PHYSICAL DANGERS

If you can, even if it is just one, ensure an adult is aware of how you are feeling (preferably one who is caring, you know how some adults can be!) 
It's great you are looking for answers. It's okay to feel this way. You're doing great.
​Sophie!

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Feeling Empty

10/5/2017

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Hi, lately I've been getting the feeling that I'm hollow, almost as if I'm empty inside Okay
​Davina
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Hi Davina,
This can be quite a common feeling, even though unpleasant, for people who are going through their teenager years. Some things that you can do to feel less hollow is writing or drawing, or any creative outlet that you have. You can show people, or you can just keep it to yourself,especially if it makes you happy! 
If this hollowness is also linked with no motivation and a feeling of helplessness, then maybe now is a good time to surround yourself with good influences and supportive friends.
If there is also a feeling of loneliness, I suggest reaching out to some people online, us being a great start! As well as making friends around you.
Now don't panic or self diagnose yourself with any mental health issues! Please go see a medical or mental health professional before taking the step of a diagnosis. This could be a very normal reaction to your hormones or to just being a teenager. It just means you need some you time, and a little extra support. 
Have a bath, paint your nails, ride your bike or cuddle a cute animal, watch a funny video, and hang out with some nice people. 
Do NOT lock yourself away with a feeling of hollowness or emptiness.
If you create anything you are proud of, feel free to email it to us and we can post it on our Instagram, trust me, we are proud of things you do. 
Thanks for writing to us, you are not alone and I hope you look after yourself.
Raegan


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Sleep My Depression Away

28/4/2017

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I used to suffer with depression, but I'm much better now, or at least I've been much better this year, But lately I've noticed that I have been showing signs of depression again, and I don't know what to do anymore. I just wanna sleep through my life, and just disappear.
​Anonymous

The signs that you got through the depression the first time you dealt with it is a good thing, you need to focus and try to remember what techniques and strategies you used to get through it the previous time, as different things may work for different people. If not, putting yourself in a positive environment with friends (usually outside of school) but still making sure that you don't feel overwhelmed with it all, help can sometimes start with the people around you. Maybe a close relative or friend can talk with you to help let off some steam. It's all about times and personal help in the end, do what makes you comfortable.
Elizabeth

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Kissing Hannah Montana

20/4/2017

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​So I've had a girlfriend for two months and it's my first real relationship. I'm 15 and I've never kissed anyone before. Well I'm staying at my friends tonight for her birthday and my gf (let's call her Hannah Montana) she is staying tonight as well. And when we stay at my friends we usually just share beds since she has a bunk but now it's different because we are dating and I have this feeling deep down we might kiss because there's been those little times when if one of us moves we would've. I'm really nervous about this because i don't know how to kiss and Hannah Montana is as inexperienced as me ugh it's really confusing but i hope you understand. 
If there's any advice please help before tonight thank you 
​Willow

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Hey there! 
I'm Sophia. And yes, your first kiss can be scary. However, I'm telling you- it WILL be ok. Now, likely, you two may share a bed. If you do, fret not. Just breathe and relax. Just talk to her, and if the moment is right, go for it. However, if you're scared, just talk to her about how you feel. I'm sure she'll understand. She may even feel the same way! May good luck and good vibes be sent your way- and remember- be yourself
​Sophia


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Goodbye Inner Child

27/3/2017

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Hello TWE!
Teenage is supposed to be the brightest years of life filled with friends, families, rebellious teen spirit, joy, happiness. but for me it didn't unravelled so. having no friends and family issues that demanded a lot of me (which was right, but a little early I guess and definitely not the way I'd imagined). with all that the inner child dies and I can feel mine suffocating.
Karan

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Hello Karan!
It is often said that your teenage years are supposed to be the best years of your life. Feeling like everything is unravelling based on that phrase is something that a lot of people go through.
My advice for this is to find an anchor. Find something that you can immerse yourself in, that you can use over and over again to bring you that joy, be it a band/ music artist you like to listen to, an extracurricular activity like a book club. Finding people with common interests is the easiest way to make friends. Remember to focus on the positives, the lessons you learn compared to where you'll be in 5-10 years. Go have fun. That's what being a teenager is all about.
I know family issues are difficult. I've gone through five years of them. This is how I picked myself up. It's how I reminded myself that it's okay to have fun, to make mistakes. 
Hope this helps you,
Caitlyn



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Ready for the next step?

14/2/2017

1 Comment

 
How do I kiss my boyfriend properly when he is kind of lovey dovey? I don't know if he's ready yet so I don't really want to act like I am controlling him or forcing him to take the relationship to the next level...what should I do? How do I kiss him at school without people staring at us? There's literally nowhere to go because there is nowhere private for us. What should I do??
Jessica


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Hello Jessica, my name is Naomi. I understand that trying to figure out if your boyfriend (or anyone, for that matter) is ready to kiss can be difficult. So I'd recommend that you make a mental note of how he acts with you and what you both have already done. Have you held hands or hugged? Does he lean in close or kiss your cheek? Think about if you're ready to make that kind of move yet. It's completely okay if your not. I'd also recommend that you try not to think about it to much. If the moment is right then it'll happen without you even putting much thought into it. Also a busy school probably isn't the best place to do it. Meet up after school or at the weekend. It should be a moment that you share together in an environment in which you both feel comfortable in. With that being said, you can just ask him. There is definitely no shame in asking him if he is ready! I hope my advice helps. :) 

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I Just Want To Be Me

25/8/2016

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Okay so I came out as transgender (ftm) to my friends about 9 months ago and to my mum about 7 months ago. All of my friends have been really supportive of me and always try their best to get my pronouns and name right - even my teachers try their best as well and are supportive of it all. Anyway, recently my mum has started to turn against it all and has started calling me by my old name and using female pronouns, she doesn't like it when my friends or teachers use male pronouns/name either and she says that she's never going to call me Caspar or help me change it through deed poll. My younger sister (she's 14 and I'm 15) told me the other day that she doesn't like it all and that I'm just attention seeking and she won't support me in the future with it and my mum agreed with her. Not only this, but I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a year ago now, but my mum hasn't helped me to get any counselling for it and I've had to cope with it by myself, although she got my sister counselling when she was diagnosed with it less than a year ago. However, my younger sister overdosed on pills the other day and texted my mum to tell her (so I'm not sure if she's actually suicidal or not as if you wanted to kill yourself, you wouldn't ask someone to take you to the hospital minutes after overdosing, but there you go). Now she's out and fine but the main thing that I needed help with is the fact that my depression has gotten so bad, especially since I haven't gotten any help for it and my family are disowning me. I've had so many suicidal thoughts recently and even started to self harm as it had gotten that bad. I don't want to tell my mum how bad my depression is as she'll probably think that I'm attention seeking and just trying to copy my sister, but I'm really not and it really has gotten so bad that I've already written out my suicide note. I don't know what to do because I'm so done with life and everything and feel as though it's better if I end it than continuing to suffer. Yet I don't want to make my friends go through it all, especially because my best friend is also depressed but her mum said that since I've come into her life she's been much happier and doesn't self harm as much. I feel like killing myself is the better option for me, but I don't think that my friends, especially my best friend, will be able to cope through that - especially because we've got out GCSEs this year. I don't know what to do and I know that you aren't professional counsellors, but any advice would be appreciated in this situation. Thank you and I'm sorry that I made you read an essay but I needed to tell someone as I haven't told anybody about how bad my depression is currently.

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Hello Casper! I don't mind the essay at all! Now the recent events of your family disowning you and doing things against your will- even stopping you from getting the professional help you need- all leads to a form of mental abuse. My advice to you is to tell a teacher what they are doing, especially a teacher you trust, as they have the resources and mind set to help you. Your friends will be supportive, but in this situation won't be able to change anything. 
With the self harm research the butterfly project, as it helped me to get away from self harm. You have the correct mindset in not commuting suicide because of your friends, but its also for you. It may be easier now, but you are cutting away a huge future, you could even be the person who accidentally stumbles across the cure for cancer! You are very important to the world, do you need to think about your future too- what are you going to miss? A lot! 
Please take this all into consideration, and really try to tell a teacher or someone of authority. It will hurt you more over time if they don't stop and no one knows about it. 
Good luck, locket


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Am I gay or what?

21/8/2016

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I think I am gay, but I am not sure. I think I like girls but I have never been in a relationship with on. How do I find out what my sexuality is?

Hi there! I too was/am really confused about my sexuality, and identified as straight for my full life until this year! Where I thought I was bi, only too have second thoughts. Sexualities are so confusing, but it's important not to rely on a label snd just be comfortable with you! There is plenty of time to experiment with different people and find out who you are attracted to, you really can't rush these things! You could watch some youtube videos or blog posts about people coming out snd seeing how they realised they were bi/gay, and it might relate to you! Please don't stress about it too much, you will find out when the time is right! Ebony

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Coming out the pan drawer

21/8/2016

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I want to come out as pansexual to my mom, but I'm not sure how to go about doing it. I don't think she will understand. Got any advice?

Hello there! Two of our writers who identify as pansexual have some advice for you! - Emily
First make sure it's safe to come out, try to gage your mum's feelings towards the LGBT+ community; once you're sure it's safe, maybe try coming out in an off handish way, I told my dad just in passing. There are a million different ways to come out from sending them relentless memes about how you're attracted to frying pans to sitting them down and talking them through it. However you decide to do it just remember to be open with them and answer their questions, if there are any, the best you can. Stay safe and stay positive - Kaya
Hello! Coming out can be a stressful time, especially when you think someone won't understand. Before I came out as pansexual I went up to my mum and asked her about a few sexualities that she hadn't heard of and tried my best to explain them to her. At first she was confused, but then again a lot of people are. My advice would be to practice what you're going to say to them. Don't write a whole speech, but make sure you know what you're going to say and be prepared to explain what pansexual means. Give them some time to accept the information, this doesn't necessarily mean they won't be fine with it, but most parents need some time to think about these things. Good luck! -Riley

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Lonely and depressed

19/8/2016

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Hello, my name is Olivia and I need some help.I am 16 and I have no friends. I have friends in my college but they always ignore me and I don't know I feel so alone, they always ignore me. I just want someone to like me and actually be my friend, it sucks. I have also been feeling down lately, like all the time i feel down and I feel happy when others are around but that's not like real happy, its fake happy as a defense mechanism. It has been really, really bad since I came back from a holiday with my auntie. I was so sad to leave and come home. It really doesn't help my sister is an ASS. Can I just have some advice please? Thanks, Olivia!
ps. I really like your website, it has really helped me and my cousin Nicki!xxo

Hey Olivia I'm Jack.
As someone who has just finished my first year of college and found it hard getting along with my class mates, to the point where I tried to help and get involved but they wouldn't care and would just ignore me. They would never invite me to the college party's they planned, even when they planned them  in front of me.
But I found great people in the collage who studied different courses and I found that I got along with them, a couple I already knew from outside of collage. Many of my friends from high school went to a different college but we try talk all the time.
The best way to get stop your friends from ignoring you is talk to them maybe make a group chat and ask why they do. For example, try and find new friends with similar interests. I know this may be difficult but you can get through this. If you ever need extra advice you can always message TWE again.
​ Anyways good luck hope this helped a bit.
Jack

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A completely Shaken Family

10/7/2016

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​Hi,  I'm emailing you because I'm not really sure what to do about my situation. I am 14 now and for as long as I can remember there have been many issues with myself and my parents. While my dad and I are fairly close, my mom has emotionally abused me for as long as I can remember, when I was younger she would yell at me almost everyday for random things and I never understood why so I started to become more and more depressed to the point where I would occasionally consider suicide. When I was around eleven it started getting worse, ever since then I can't express any of my likes or dislikes to my mom because as soon as she sees I like something she tries to take it from me. For example, I can't listen to music with her around. Like any music, not even classical which I love. I don't have religious freedom either, she is a very conservative Christian and she hates that I don't like to do certain religious activities with her, which I don't like because they make me uncomfortable and she always gets angry with me if I don't do exactly what she says. I converted to Judaism last year and I'm very happy with my choice, but I know if she found out I'm honestly scared of what she would do to me. She wants me to be exactly like her in everything, even in my relationships. She doesn't like that I don't want to have children(she did), she doesn't like that I'm accepting of people(she says very unkind things about people), she doesn't like that I want to go into the marines and let's me know regularly(she had dropped out of the Air Force and doesn't like that the American military is "too liberal for her"), and she doesn't like that I like to see my friends a lot and show them physical affection at times(she's very anti social).  She is convinced me and my best friend are gay together simply because I sit close to her and now I'm afraid for my friends safety so I can't even hug her around my mom out of fear of what she would do to her or myself. I don't care that she thinks I'm either a lesbian or trans, which is because of stereotyping(I have a pixie cut and am fairly "masculine" in my personality and appearance choices), I'm just afraid of what she would do to me or my friends because even though I've told her before I'm not gay, and I'm not, she doesn't believe me as usual and she's such a homophobic individual that I'm afraid of what her actions towards me might be in the future.  Then there's her and my dad. She never wears her wedding band, they fight any time they talk for more than five minutes, they don't sleep in the same room, and I hardly ever see them show any type of affection.  She keeps secrets all the time from both of us, there's a refrigerator in the garage that she threatens us both not to open and she'll never tell me much about the years before, around, and after I was born. I've asked my dad about it but he won't tell me anything, I have this memory in my head about being around 3 and welcoming my mom home at a hospital. I think it was actually a mental hospital and I just didn't know at the time, and it makes sense because all my dad told me is that my mom lied to someone and I had to stay with my aunt for a month as a result, and that he "caught her doing weird stuff". I'm not surprised, my mom changes personalities frequently and her mom had abused her and her siblings as children even though she refuses to believe it.  I'm so tired of my mom always being angry with me and caring more about the family dog than me, it seems. But the thing is, sometimes she's nice, really nice. She'll be nice for days on end and then all of a sudden she'll go back to hating my existence. It's so confusing and I don't know what to do.  I almost killed myself four times last year alone because of things she said to me and made me do. I had to tattoo something special to me into my thigh to get myself to stop cutting(it worked, I'm seven months clean) and now I'm afraid of what will happen if she ends up seeing my thigh someday. It sounds stupid but it was all I knew to do at the time, when I was eleven I had told my mom how I was and she told me to my face she didn't want me to have help so I've only been able to use the Internet to try to help myself, which makes me upset because I always see everywhere how people hate self-diagnosed individuals, but I don't know what else to do, I can't see a therapist. I tried to tell my physician about this without my mom knowing but it didn't work and that was my last chance of help.  The only adults I know that could help me are all related to my mom so I think they would defend her. There is one though that has asked me before to tell her what was wrong because she could tell I was upset and she doesn't know my mom and hasn't been deceived by her, I want to talk to her about this because she used to work with troubled kids anyways, but I'm too scared.  I don't want to be around my mom anymore but I'm too young to be emancipated and I don't want to leave my state, NC, because of my best friend(she also has family issues and I have to be there for her). And that's why I'm writing, I just don't know what to do anymore. I know it was a long read, I'm really sorry..

Lotus (Name changed for confidentiality reasons)

Hey Lotus, due to this being such a big, exact piece myself (Emily) and Ali will both be giving you advice. - Emily
Your situation is a lot like mine. My dad is very against me. He is actually disowning me. I think you need to sit her down and talk to her. Make sure your dad is in the room as well as you both just in case anything happens. Also you mentioned that she wouldn't talk about any time around or before you were born. Maybe she was effected in some way and she wants to forget it. It sounds like you have an extremely strict mother and also I think she may just want to protect you. I recommend you read through some of our mental health articles to find out more about what illness you could have. You mentioned your mum didn't want to help get help, try asking school. They can hook you up with counseling and get you someone to talk to. I don't know about other schools, but the ones in my area are allowed to prescribe you tablets and pills that you can then pick up from the chemist. It's worth asking. The tattoo was a great idea and I am so proud of you for being 7 months clean. Maybe when your mum is in her good mood is when you should talk to her. The suicide should be spoken about and you shouldn't 'suffer in silence'! I know it sounds cheesy but honestly, it's true. Don't ever give up on what you believe in either! It's important to stay true to the religion you chose. I'm not religious myself but I know it's important. I hope I helped and if you need any more help please DM me. My Instagram is @alicianewns_ {alicia🌸}
Lotus, i honestly feel, for your safety and your future, you should tell someone about this, even if it's child-line over a anonymous chat on their online chat space. It may be scary but it really is what is best for you, you should be able to be you and to be happy! As for the apology in the end, never apologize for asking for help, this could be a 12 page essay and we would still read it, we are here to help you! I also understand you don't want  to leave because of your friend, but if it gets too much you need​ to put yourself first, you are the most important thing you have! - Emily
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Feeling down and useless

9/7/2016

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I'm 16 and just finished my GCSE exams and i'm feeling really depressed and useless. I have no friends or social life. I can't find a part time job. I'm too socially anxious to join any club or summer course. I've become so introverted I can't even bring myself to face the outside world but at the same time I feel trapped inside as life passes me by and everyone else my age are experiencing things like working and dating etc. 
I've not even started college yet and I already feel like I've failed at life.
On top of this my self-esteem is so low and I really hate so much about myself and this also holds me back from socializing.
I don't know what to do. I have all this free time and all it's giving me is time alone with my thoughts and self pity and doubt. I really don't know who to ask for help so I hope you can give me some advice.

Anon

Hello, my name is Naomi.

I felt the same way when I first finished school, you are definitely not alone. You are not failing at life or anything of the sort! I believe you are going through a state of an existential crisis mixed with depression. This is not something you should be ashamed of but I definitely thing you should speak with your doctor or parents. However, since you are 16, you can go to the doctors alone and asking as you tell them you want the information you give them to be confidential then they will not tell your parents if that is something you are worried about. They will be able to refer you to a mental health team who will speak with you and decide on the best course of treatment for you. This is something that will definitely help you to improve your mental health!

Please don't keep your feelings and thoughts to yourself as they can begin to fester resulting in your mental health getting worse in which will affect you everyday life more than it may already do. You said that you don't have any friends, well college is a great opportunity to make friends. It may be scary and unnerving at first but if you start by smiling at them and then making small talk until you find something in common that you both talk about and bond over. College is nothing like school and everyone is so much nicer!

You don't need a part time job at this age but if you are really set on having one then I suggest that you try making things and selling them on Etsy or ask around for babysitting jobs. They are both relatively easy things to do but you can get quite a bit of money from them.

You could also try dog walking. It's very hard to do things when your self esteem is low but I recommend trying to focus more on the thing/s you do like about yourself or that you can do. You can do this by writing a list of the things you may like about yourself and then every morning, looking in the mirror and complimenting yourself on those things. You could also try to find the positive side of the negative feelings you have towards yourself. This will take some time but please don't give up! You don't have to rush into things and force yourself to be social but you can try taking things slow. You could try going for a short walk, messaging people on Facebook and then slowly progress by smiling at people on your walks. Then you can try waving at people. Then you can try to make small talk with people at college. Then you can begin to express yourself a little until you feel comfortable with the people in your class. It's all about doing things at a pace your a comfortable with!

You sound like a lovely person and I'm so proud of you for asking us for help. I recommend that next you speak with a doctor.
I hope this helped.
Naomi x

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High School and Making Friends

3/7/2016

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I am 14 , turning 15 in September. I am starting my freshman year of high school in august and I'm really nervous . Why I am asking for help/ advice is because I don't feel like I have any friends and starting high school without friends sounds horrible.

I used to have friends but we grew distant over the beginning of summer and now I feel like I don't have anyone and I really don't. I'm good at making friends and I usually have a lot . I'm a really friendly and outgoing person so making friends isn't a problem . what I'm really asking for advice on is , how do I survive my first week(s) of highschool without close friends ? 

I also need tips on how to stay positive while going through this phase of not having friends . I'm usually a very happy person and outgoing as previously mentioned but sometimes when I think of not having friends and I see my usual classmates / former friends posting fun pictures with their friends on social media , I get bummed and sad because I used to have that but now I'm lonely and feel left out from just everyone . 

If you can please , give me all the advice you can because I really need it .  

​Anon

Hello Anon!

When I started high school i was so scared and excited at the same time, as someone who was bullied throughout my last school and my best friend drifting away from me, I was so nervous, I though i would be alone and I didn't know what to do. With only me, my 'best friend' and two other girls going there i knew i was going to have to make friends.

I was right about my best friend leaving me, but that didn't matter because so many people had no-one from their last school and I promise you, you will meet someone, everyone is in the same boat. You are not alone. Plus you will most probably meet someone to call your best friend throughout high school.

As for keeping positive, I know how you feel sometimes i feel like i have no friends, when in reality i do, but whenever i go through these phases i do a few things to keep myself positive.
Things i do are:
  • I do some of my hobbies for example, i make Disney characters out of loom bands (this sounds stupid but my friends and family love them, especially my little cousins)
  • Read a book! Reading lets you transport to another world, if I am feeling low in school, I used to read between classes, and at lunch (Once i even read while walking home, i may or may not have walked into a lamp-post)
  • Do some of your skills, one thing i made when i was upset is this website! Positive things can come out of negatives!
  • Binge watch a TV series, you most likely do this anyway seeing as most people do, but binge watching a good TV show with a lot of seasons is a great way to escape feeling negative, and the more seasons it has the better ;), i did this with Once Upon A Time and Pretty Little Liars.
  • Become active on social media! I used to run a fan account on Instagram for Ariana Grande, I actually had 17k followers, until i was hacked that is but it's cool i'm over it

I hope this helped, I'm not really the best writer, that is why i stick to behind the scenes work, I hope high school turns out alright, and I hope you make some friends!

​Emily <3  

Sent in VIA email
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Panic Attacks

14/6/2016

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hi.
I don't really know how to do this. 
I can't talk about my feelings. I can't explain them. 
last month's I've been having panic attacks more and more often.. it's very scary. 
my family doesn't know. they know I've been having these but not how much..

I can't stop these attacks and I don't know what to do anymore..

-felicia.

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Hello,
Panic attacks can be scary and horrible, but you can calm them down if you try. I haven't told my mum about me having panic attacks either so I know how you're feeling. We have articles on panic attacks and how to stop them if you go through them but my way to calm them easy is take a moment, breath to a tune or breath on my thumb. You could also play/fiddle with an item for example like your skirt, tie or any item of clothing. Stress balls can really help too!
The best thing to do is to tell someone you trust, like a friend or a family member because the more you bottle it up the worse it's going to get. Try keeping a track of your panic attacks so you know if they're getting really bad because you can then know a rough guide of how your panic attacks are. So you could write down the time you had one, the date, the time it finished, how long it lasted etc.
I hope you have an excellent day!
Katie xo

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