Hey Teens with experience
My sexuality has been something I have struggled with for 4 years. I never thought about it, I always assumed I was straight (the default right?) until a girl I was talking to in class asked me what my sexuality was, I new she was Bi and I hesitated. I answered with "I never thought about it". This has haunted me since, why did I hesitate?
Since then I kinda repressed it until recently when I watched something that made all my questioning resurfaced. I wouldn't care except it's affecting my everyday life. I have never been sexually attracted to anyone so I thought I was maybe asexual? But I can imagine myself being romantic and sexual with people of any gender? Nothing repulses me and I don't know if this is because I'm not bothered by the LGBT+ community, or because I have a very strong imagination?
I just really want to learn who I am, I feel like part of myself is missing, I feel like I don't know myself.
Hi Laila, thanks so much for contacting us here at TWE! Sexuality can be a difficult thing to navigate, and questioning it is something many young people experience at some point. Being a teenager is the time when people become aware of their romantic interest, and also start to experiment a bit for some, so it's totally natural for you to be beginning to think about your sexuality.
However, if thinking about your sexuality is becoming an issue for you, it's a great think you've reached out for help. Although I can fully understand that not being able to identify yourself with a particular group or label such as bi, asexual, gay, etc.. can be difficult and leave you feeling lost, many people actually go through life without calling themselves anything, and focus on what they like without worrying about what to call themselves. Your sexuality is a big part of you, so if you're trying to work out what it is you like, perhaps try to focus more on exactly that, knowing what you do and don't like, instead of trying to work out what term you fit under. Also, you may not know for a while now exactly what you like, and that's also okay! Don't rush into anything, just make sure that whatever happens, you're comfortable and happy with it, it doesn't matter who it is (or isn't) with, and who knows, perhaps along the way you'll work out how you'd like to identify. For now though, just know that lots of young people go through your situation, and it's completely okay to not know who you are just yet, just try to focus on whatever makes you happy!
All the best - Emmy
Hi there, I am lesbian and I have a crush on another lesbian A REALLY BIG CRUSH... so anyway erm she got a girlfriend the day I was going to ask her out and she only said yes to the other girl because she didn't want to ruin their friendship but that also means they won't break up because they'd hurt each others feelings. I know this sound mean and jealous and salty but what should I do? Thank you I hope you can understand, sorry
I totally understand! I think the best thing you can do is tell her how you feel. If she feels the same way she may understand that what she’s doing to her friend is wrong. I hope everything works out xx -Joey
Well I'm lesbian and I just got a girlfriend and she is so much prettier than me and more popular we both love each other and I know it isn't all about looks but I genuinely AM ugly and she is gorgeous. I have good skin with no spots or freckles, nice eyes but really horrible eyebrows and the thinnest lips ever but I'm allergic to EVERY type of makeup I've tried and I just want to look at least decent I know this sound kind of pointless but me and my girlfriend both self harm people know that she does but no one know about me and I have severe anxiety especially over my looks please help if you can what do I do if I'm way too ugly compared to her - Harriet
Hi Harriet! It is normal to feel like this especially in a relationship with someone, it is easy to think that you're not good enough for them. You need to remember that there is a reason she is your girlfriend, and she might even feel similar to this about you! Try talking to her about this, and you can both help each other. You don't need makeup to look nice, you may have heard this many times before but it is true. You could talk to a doctor about your allergies and they may be able to recommend some makeup that you can wear and is safe for your skin. Good luck and if you need any more help please ask! -Ella
HELP I LIKE SOMEONE WHO THINKS I'M A LESBIAN WHAT DO I DO
Okay, firstly the best thing to do about it is stay calm. Don't let yourself worry too much - get close to them. Perhaps you could drop some hints to the fact that you aren't a lesbian? The best way is to find how you can express your sexuality comfortably to let him know your sexuality first. After that, then you are free to build a relationship with him and let him know you like him!
Good luck and best wishes,
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I think I'm lesbian, but I'm sure. How can I tell if I am, and how do I tell my homophobic mother?
Honestly, there isn't one specific way to figure out if you lesbian, but an easy way to have a little idea if you are lesbian, is to first think of if you've ever been attracted to any women and whether you've ever been attracted to any boys. If you haven't ever been attracted to boys and have been attracted to girls then you might be lesbian. If you have been attracted to both you may be bisexual or Pansexual etc, and if you have only been attracted to boys you may just be straight. As for telling your homophobic mother, you don't have to tell her but if you want to I suggest doing it either in person or through a note. No matter what she says she will always love you. If she doesn't accept you there is always the option of telling your dad, grandparents, friends or If you need someone on this team. I suggest if you know she won't react well the it may be easier and better to tell her when you are moved out so she can't kick you out of the house. If you need anything else please feel free to message back.
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I think I am gay, but I am not sure. I think I like girls but I have never been in a relationship with on. How do I find out what my sexuality is?
Hi there! I too was/am really confused about my sexuality, and identified as straight for my full life until this year! Where I thought I was bi, only too have second thoughts. Sexualities are so confusing, but it's important not to rely on a label snd just be comfortable with you! There is plenty of time to experiment with different people and find out who you are attracted to, you really can't rush these things! You could watch some youtube videos or blog posts about people coming out snd seeing how they realised they were bi/gay, and it might relate to you! Please don't stress about it too much, you will find out when the time is right! Ebony
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