Hey. Lately I’ve been having a lot of stress problems and I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice on how they dealt with stress?
Hi Brooklyn! Thanks so much for sending us in a message. Stress is a natural part of life and it can actually sometimes be beneficial, as it allows us to realise when things need prioritising and resolving. However, stress can also really put a strain on our lives, and too much of it is unhealthy.
As someone who completely understands what it feels like to have a lot of stress, my top tip is that it's so important to make sure you make time for things you enjoy, and things that help you relax! Even carving out 30-60 minutes a day of you time will have a huge impact on how you feel, because it gives you the time to reflect on the day and calm down. Personally, I enjoy watching my favourite TV shows or reading a book during me time, but you can do whatever you like!
My other important bit of advice would be to make sure you talk to people, if need be a professional. Keeping stress bottled up only adds to the stress, so it's so helpful to spend some time telling others how you feel. If you feel you need more than the support of friends and family, you can talk to your GP about counselling services by you.
As well as this, it's sometimes helpful putting your stress into categories of things you can resolve and things you can't. For instance, if you're stressed about an essay you haven't written yet, you can take steps to resolving this (by doing your essay). If you're stressed about the fact your delivery hasn't arrived, there's not much you can do about that, so you can then work on asking yourself why you're so stressed and helping yourself calm down. I hope your stress starts to fade soon, and that these tips help you! - Emmy x
How can I deal with stress?
Stress can be a difficult emotion to cope with, it can leave us feeling upset, angry, and unsure of what to do. A really good way to deal with stress is to distract yourself, whether that be watching a film you love, listening to music, going out with friends/family, etc.., they can all help you to take your mind off things. Sometimes it's also good to get it out, and some people have different ways of doing that. Some people like to talk to people, it can help them express their emotions and get support back, others like a more physical way of getting it out, such as exercise. If you're finding yourself stressed for a long period of time, you may also want to look into counselling as a way to relieve stress and get help with dealing with it. Emmy x
Prelims are coming up and I’m scared I’m going to fail. How do you handle stress because I still can’t do it!!! I go to Zuni next year and I need to be able to handle it better.
Hi Antonia! I totally understand how much pressure there is when it comes to tests and exams. I know you want to do well, but no number, letter or any grade can define your worth. At the end of the day; everything will be okay.
When dealing with revision I like to prioritise my work. Maybe try making a revision timetable and plan when you are going to study. Remember to leave time for breaks. Put the subject you struggle with most or the subject you want to do the best in first. Within the subject, study the topics you don't understand first rather than going over what you already know.
Make sure you have a tidy place to work, clear out a desk or even if your just sitting on your bed, don't have papers everywhere. Make sure you are comfy and relaxed and have some snacks on hand so you don't have to get up. It's important to have a drink too because this will help you feel better. I like to have a glass of water or tea (herbal tea if it's in the evening as you need to sleep). You could also light a candle to help you relax.
Turn off distractions, don't have the tv on and turn your phone, laptop, or iPad off unless you are using them to study. Electronic devices can be good but you should turn social media and game notifications off. There are lots of apps and learning games you can play that might help you, and quizzes and even practise papers online you can use. I like quizlet and duolingo if you are learning languages.
On the topic of the internet and electronics, I find YouTube a good learning resource. Sometimes it's easier to see and hear someone explain something rather than reading it out of a text book. My favourite study channel is Eve Bennet, but depending on what exams you are doing you may or may not find her helpful.
Making fancy notes and using flash cards is a good way to remember things. Try writing in different coloured pens and even different coloured paper. It has been proven that different colours help people to remember more easily!
Having a friend to help you study has also been helpful for me. Make sure it's a friend who you know will help you focus rather than become a distraction. You can test eachother and share study methods. It will also make you feel less stressed and know that your not alone with the stress of revising.
When you get to uni, try revise as early as you can so you don't have as much to do last minute and try to keep on top of your work. Just try your hardest and take good notes in class.
If you start to feel overwhelmed, treat yourself. Take a bubble bath, watch an episode of your favourite tv show. Have some time to do something you want to do. And remember not to let exams take over your entire life. I comepletly understand how you feel as I have broke down crying over exam stress before, so please know that you are not alone. If you haven't already, try reading some articles on TWE as we have many articles about this. Also, my last tip is to get a good nights sleep the night before! Don't stay up all night revising. I hope some of this helps you, and good luck. At the end of the day, exams aren't the end of the world. -Ella
I am seriously worried about my grand daughter aged 13. Her parents are divorced. Her mum moved to Spain and she didnt want to go. She lived with me and was happy with friends going out and sleepovers. In April her dad said i was too old to look after her and she lived with him for 4 month. He verbally abused her, she lived 2 jra away and had to change schools. She was devastated and since yhen her life has fallen apart in her eyes. Her mum said to her if not working with dad then you have to come live with me in Spain. Her mums work means she comes home 3 or 4 in the morning and sleeps best part of of the day. She is about to start a spanish state school.
She now has social anxiety will noy talk ti others and on friday her ild school contacted me that she has been contacting an old school fiend from when she was living with me and was going on suicide snap chats. I am terrified she will harm herself. She sits at home all day with no friends and scared of the day she has to go to school. Even begging me not to bring her birth certicate to her mum which she needs to start school. She has also tild me she is not sure of her sexuality. She talks ti me but not her mum. Her mum's friend asked her if she was enjoying living in spain. She said no. Her mam gave her the bad eye then Shouted at her for telling the truth. Her mum wants it to work but i know my grand daughter unless with me in uk. How can i help jer
Hi Julie, I am so sorry that you and your grand daughter are going through this. I think that you all need to sit down and talk about this (you and her parents and your grand daughter). If not possible in person then through Skype or even over the phone. You need to tell her parents that they need to take her opinion into consideration. Maybe you could introduce your grand daughter to our website, I'm sure some of our articles could help her and we would be happy to talk to her if she needs it. I really hope you manage to sort this, and if you need any more help please let us know. -Ella
What should I do about my "friend" who pretends to have depression and self harm? I know you probably think like how do you know the pretend but they even told me them self that they're faking it for attention and she doesn't know that I self harm etc and it really stresses me out, and even triggers me! What should I do?
Hi, I understand how frustrating this is, I had 2 friends who did this and the most annoying thing about it was having to see one of my other friends who was actually going through this suffering in silence. I think you should talk to your friend, and tell them that if they are self harming they should see a professional. My "friends" would post on Snapchat about it for attention instead of doing this which is another sign that they are attention seeking. My two "friends" also would encourage each other to do this which was part of the problem. I am no longer friends with them for more than just this reason, and if your "friend" continues to do this maybe you should find better friends. I hope this helps and there may be some articles on our website that could also help you, -Ella
How do I get exam motivation to be able to sit down and revise? I know in my head that I need to, but when it comes to sitting down and putting the pen to the paper I just dont have the motivation to do it. Instead I waste most of my days away watching shows, other than doing what I know I need to do
This is a common problem with trying to study, and I know for a fact that I have done this many times in the last few weeks. What I would suggest doing is making sure you are in quiet room with no distractions. Make sure that your phone is either in another room on silent, or tuned off completely. If you have to use your computer as a word processor, turn off your internet for a while until you are done, but if you need your computer for research, consider finding the information and printing it off so that that temptation to go on social media is minimum. If you still can't concentrate and find yourself getting distracted, go for a short walk or jog and come back to it after. If it is actually getting motivated to do the studying, think of what might happen if you don't, and prepare a small reward for if you do finish it.
Hope this helps,
Sent in via chat box
I don't really know how to do this.
I can't talk about my feelings. I can't explain them.
last month's I've been having panic attacks more and more often.. it's very scary.
my family doesn't know. they know I've been having these but not how much..
I can't stop these attacks and I don't know what to do anymore..
Panic attacks can be scary and horrible, but you can calm them down if you try. I haven't told my mum about me having panic attacks either so I know how you're feeling. We have articles on panic attacks and how to stop them if you go through them but my way to calm them easy is take a moment, breath to a tune or breath on my thumb. You could also play/fiddle with an item for example like your skirt, tie or any item of clothing. Stress balls can really help too!
The best thing to do is to tell someone you trust, like a friend or a family member because the more you bottle it up the worse it's going to get. Try keeping a track of your panic attacks so you know if they're getting really bad because you can then know a rough guide of how your panic attacks are. So you could write down the time you had one, the date, the time it finished, how long it lasted etc.
I hope you have an excellent day!
Hey, um I'm kinda worried because I have a load of exams coming up and they mean quite a bit. My core science ones are in a few weeks (17th, 19th and 25th May) and I'm really struggling. We did some mocks and I got all Cs when I'm supposed to be getting all As. The thing is, I was off for about 3 weeks recovering from an op and I'm really behind. But I know how disappointed my family will be if I do rubbish and I don't know what to do. I have frequent panic attacks over the exams too. Sorry for bothering but will you please help?
Remember, whether or not you get an objectively good mark, trying your best is what matters.
Try drawing or writing out your fears and worries and then burning them. It feels like your burning your worries
When revising don't listen to music, unless it's instrumental. Try drawing out link maps and mind maps to refer to. If necessary, blu-tack them to the wall.
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