Hi, so since it's pride month and I'm genderfluid, I want to come out to my mum on genderfluid pride day (16th of June) but I'm not sure what to say or how to explain it since she isn't very aware of all of the gender identities and their definitions, what should I do?
Hi Tegan! It may be worth explaining to your mum what it means to be genderfluid, because then she has a full understanding of what you’re trying to tell her you are. Possibly plan a little bit of what you want to say to her, but don’t over think it - this will probably make you a lot more nervous as you’re trying to remember all these things you want to explain to her. Try and treat it as a relatively normal conversation; sit her down and just say that you need to talk to her about something. That’s a good way of showing her that it’s important to you. Then maybe explain that you’re genderfluid, and then define what that means, and just see where the conversation takes you. Good luck, I hope it all goes well! - Tasha x
I'm 13 years old, can I use a binder? My mother thinks it's bad for my body but I hate my breasts.
You can bind at 13 as long as you buy a proper, fitting binder (I recommend GC2B binders). However at 13 you're still developing and to bind safely you'll have to keep buying a bigger size as you grow, which can be expensive. If you can afford it then give it a try, but I would personally wait until you've grown a bit to be safe.
Hope that this helps!
Eli (guest writer)
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I think I might be ftm transgender but i am confused about it and I been thinking about it for along time. What are the symptoms of being transgender?
First I don't wanna sound rude but the use of "symptoms" is transphobic as it implies being trans is an illness, understand that the writer probably didn't mean it but I think using "signs" would be a better alternative
And the signs can vary person to person but body dysphoria is common, dislike of the top half or bottom half or both. A disconnection to first name if it doesn't match the gender you prefer. If you like people using the opposite gender pronouns with you and dislike the pronouns matching your sex then that's another. And a strong discomfort on gender roles - as in if you're ftm you might really dislike "girly" things like makeup and dresses but enjoy "boyish" things like hoodies and jeans. But you don't necessarily have to fall under these signs, like you can get transgenders who have no dysphoria or still like their chosen name or like the gender role of their sex whilst still being trans.
In the end it's just all about how you feel inside. There's no rush to find a label
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I've been wanting to come out to my mom and dad and stepparents but u can't find the courage to or I just forget. I know my mom would accept it but I don't know about my dad. I'm Pansexual and transgender so it's hard for me to say it when they've known me for 15 years as their straight CIS daughter. Any advice on how I should come out without having to face them or how to build the courage to face them?
Hello! So I have quite a few trans friends, and every time they have asked this question I have always said to write a letter to them explaining everything. Do this whilst you are at a friends sleeping over, or out for the day so when they find it they can read it and think about it whilst you are gone instead of hearing it and reacting straight away. If they react like that they won't have time to think, so a letter has always been the best choice.
Good luck, locket x
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Okay so I came out as transgender (ftm) to my friends about 9 months ago and to my mum about 7 months ago. All of my friends have been really supportive of me and always try their best to get my pronouns and name right - even my teachers try their best as well and are supportive of it all. Anyway, recently my mum has started to turn against it all and has started calling me by my old name and using female pronouns, she doesn't like it when my friends or teachers use male pronouns/name either and she says that she's never going to call me Caspar or help me change it through deed poll. My younger sister (she's 14 and I'm 15) told me the other day that she doesn't like it all and that I'm just attention seeking and she won't support me in the future with it and my mum agreed with her. Not only this, but I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a year ago now, but my mum hasn't helped me to get any counselling for it and I've had to cope with it by myself, although she got my sister counselling when she was diagnosed with it less than a year ago. However, my younger sister overdosed on pills the other day and texted my mum to tell her (so I'm not sure if she's actually suicidal or not as if you wanted to kill yourself, you wouldn't ask someone to take you to the hospital minutes after overdosing, but there you go). Now she's out and fine but the main thing that I needed help with is the fact that my depression has gotten so bad, especially since I haven't gotten any help for it and my family are disowning me. I've had so many suicidal thoughts recently and even started to self harm as it had gotten that bad. I don't want to tell my mum how bad my depression is as she'll probably think that I'm attention seeking and just trying to copy my sister, but I'm really not and it really has gotten so bad that I've already written out my suicide note. I don't know what to do because I'm so done with life and everything and feel as though it's better if I end it than continuing to suffer. Yet I don't want to make my friends go through it all, especially because my best friend is also depressed but her mum said that since I've come into her life she's been much happier and doesn't self harm as much. I feel like killing myself is the better option for me, but I don't think that my friends, especially my best friend, will be able to cope through that - especially because we've got out GCSEs this year. I don't know what to do and I know that you aren't professional counsellors, but any advice would be appreciated in this situation. Thank you and I'm sorry that I made you read an essay but I needed to tell someone as I haven't told anybody about how bad my depression is currently.
Hello Casper! I don't mind the essay at all! Now the recent events of your family disowning you and doing things against your will- even stopping you from getting the professional help you need- all leads to a form of mental abuse. My advice to you is to tell a teacher what they are doing, especially a teacher you trust, as they have the resources and mind set to help you. Your friends will be supportive, but in this situation won't be able to change anything.
With the self harm research the butterfly project, as it helped me to get away from self harm. You have the correct mindset in not commuting suicide because of your friends, but its also for you. It may be easier now, but you are cutting away a huge future, you could even be the person who accidentally stumbles across the cure for cancer! You are very important to the world, do you need to think about your future too- what are you going to miss? A lot!
Please take this all into consideration, and really try to tell a teacher or someone of authority. It will hurt you more over time if they don't stop and no one knows about it.
Good luck, locket
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