I'm moving out of the family home for university in September. I'm supposed to be happy and excited to start a new life for myself, but instead I'm overwhelmed with guilt and sadness. I know my mum didn't want me to leave home so I feely guilty and like I've left her behind. I also can't help but walk around my house thinking about how it won't be my house in a few weeks, and how my room won't be mine or how I'll have to leave so much behind. It just makes me sad, I know it's an important and exciting step into adulthood, but I also feel sad I'm leaving my home and can't shake it. I do want to leave home, my home life isn't fantastic right now and I keep coming over in waves of excitement as well, but the lows are very low. I really want to be going out and buying furniture for my new place and getting excited instead of being sad.
I know how you feel, moving out is such a big step and it can not only be scary, but it can often be sad. You do get this feeling of loss and often nostalgia as you remember what was and see how things will be different. You will not only miss the people you are leaving behind, but miss the moments and the materialistic things that make it home.
I moved out when I was eighteen, nearly two years ago, and at first it was hard. Hard to find the comfort and feeling of home that you long for, even hard to feel excited about choosing new furniture and designing your new rooms! It does come though.
You might feel homesick for a while, but you will settle into your new life and your new surroundings and it will become your home.
I suggest that you take your own pillows and blankets which you may already be taking, and maybe a teddy bear or any other comfort item that you can. Take a photo album or a box of things that remind you of home, but make sure that those items are conducive to you becoming happy and are not hindering your mental health.
In the end, and as hard as it may be, you just have to pick up and move. It's a huge and intimidating step, but most people do grow out of their childhood homes and it becomes time to make a new one. It's a big step, it's massive, but it isn't impossible and you aren't alone at all. There will be nearly everyone else at your uni that will have moved out of their family homes too, and some of them will be relieved about it, and there will be others like you that are struggling with the change.
Creating a new home, and new memories, is incredibly worth it. You will be so busy with your life and your study that your new home will become a safe space for you just as it should be.
I know it's hard, but taking responsibility for your life and accommodation is exciting, and you will eventually find it liberating. You might even find that going back home for holidays may be bittersweet, as the feeling of relief at being back is matched with the homesickness for your new home.
And I am assuming that your family will be there for you to Skype and call when you need them, they might even be able to send you care packages!
I am proud of you for getting into uni and for taking this step, and it will be worth it! You should be proud of yourself too, and I promise that moving out really can be freeing and ultimately be something worth getting excited over.
Good luck sweetheart!
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