Alcoholic Beverage

By Mel

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Alcohol can seem like one of those things we all want to try and can’t wait to do so. But, for me, it wasn’t the case. I was more into getting out into the world traveling and having my own freedom.

But, sooner or later you get introduced to alcohol. My first drink was in London during my travels in Camden, a place called The Hawley Arms. And for my first drink, it was a classic Camden Bells pint which was pretty good!

But then, after that everything changed, I lost control, and I started to drink various different drinks but mostly gins. I love fruity and strong flavors so this was perfect for me. Too perfect to the point where I would be on the floor in a pool of my own vomit. 

Not nice right?

Well, what I didn’t realize was years from that moment it would be totally different. My friends would be no more, I would be unhealthy and above all, I wouldn’t be happy within myself. 

The reason I lost my friends was that throughout the years on many occasions i would get off my face and I wouldn’t be the true self that everyone loved. People would say they couldn't recognize me because I acted so differently. 

So then the time came one night when I managed to make it to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and really looked at myself and thought, “What am I doing to myself?”

 I saw a version of myself that I was horrified and ashamed of. That’s when I realized I was digging a very dark hole for myself. I was losing who I was, I was losing Mel.

It’s been a long time coming but I can say I’ve been nearly a year free of alcohol, not just because of that night but because of the health conditions that came with it.

I started to have seizures and they went on for many years, didn’t know what was causing them. I was tested for epilepsy but it wasn’t that. I was tested for nonepileptic seizures and the final result was defined as PNES.

But of course, there was no medication for that, so I was on my own with finding a way through, what was causing these seizures how can I move on with my life without living in fear?

Well, that’s when it came down to my mental health, my drinking, and the way I dealt with things. When things got dark in my mind I would turn to drink so I could block it all out for a while, then when I would sober up again I would find myself back with the alcohol. 

So, when I finally pinpointed how my seizures were occurring I decided to take action because I’d had enough. It wasn’t just the drinking it was a mixture of my mental health, and not having a proper diet but the drinking, didn’t help at all. 
Yes, today I still find it hard to make friends, and yes I still find it hard to see others going out having a good time and drinking with their friends. But in my mind, I will rather be spending my money on traveling and doing what I love other than going out every weekend to get off my face and not remembering a single thing. 

That’s my reason for putting a stop to my drinking. I lost a lot of people in my life, but I also met the true ones in my life too. One year on, I’m in a new job with children, and I’m still suffering from seizures, but not as frequent as they used to be. 

Things do change, you just got to put in the hard work.

But alcohol can also be enjoyed! It’s not all doom and gloom! If you’re sensible about it, then it can be used as a sociable gathering. Invite friends, and family along to celebrate the fun times!