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By Katelyn Disclaimer: This is my personal experience, along with parts of my fellow Hispanic friends’ experiences. This is not intended to stereotype any ethnicity. Although I was born in the United States, my family is made up entirely of Cubans. I was brought up knowing every Prince Royce and Romeo Santos song known to man. All my illnesses were “cured” with “vivaporu” (Vicks Vaporub); I couldn’t, and still can’t, sleep over at anyone’s house unless they’re my cousins; and I was forced to watch telenovelas or La Voz with my grandma. My family can be the most loving, passionate, fun people at times, but that comes at a price. They’re also nosy, controlling, petty, selfish, and manipulative. Toxic doesn’t even begin to describe my family.
One thing about many Cubans is that they’re tremendously expressive and aggressive. They won’t hold back when they have something on their mind. They’ll either inconsiderately tell you straight to your face or they’ll gossip behind your back and make passive aggressive comments. For instance, one time my siblings and I were at a pool party and my sister was just living her life having fun and jumping in the pool; who would want to destroy that? A normal family would be happy for her. My cousin had a different plan in mind. She decided to say, loud and clear, that my sister looked better before quarantine when she was skinnier. My sister and I have had body image issues for the majority of our lives because of our family. They constantly reduce us to how we look. Their shallow personalities just can’t help telling us that we should eat less (or more, if you’re particularly skinny) whether through physically saying it to you in front of everyone or throwing you judgemental looks when you get up to serve yourself a second helping of dinner (or none at all). I will never understand how a person can think repeatedly telling someone how ugly they believe the other looks is an okay thing to do. Cuban parents, essentially, act like toddlers. They throw tantrums when they don’t get their way, seemingly have no common decency, cause constant drama, etc. Sometimes I feel like I’m the one raising them. They’ll give me the silent treatment if I forget to put a shirt away or throw a chancleta at me when I try to talk to them. They make their children into their confidantes. They fill their kids’ heads with drama and gossip. They also get super defensive and lash out when I attempt to talk to them about my issues. When I tried to tell them about my depression, they immediately thought I was insulting their parenting skills. Instead of comforting me and letting me know that they’re here for me and are going to help me, they took the selfish route and somehow brought the conversation back to them. We also can’t have a normal party without someone ending up in a massive argument and then no one mentioning it for weeks to come. This one time, two of my cousins started arguing and it escalated to the point where the adults escorted all the children outside because they didn’t want them to see how violent and vulgar their relatives were getting. They didn’t speak to each other for the next month. On another occasion, one of my cousins was planning to attend a concert and invited one of her sisters to come with. The sister decided to, without asking permission, invite several friends to join them. The other sister who originally asked found out and snapped. They fought for days, followed by a mutual silent treatment for another few weeks. They’re the most petty and immature people I have ever met. Despite their destructive nature, you’ll never encounter a family with more love and loyalty. They all wear their hearts on their sleeves and will kill for their family. I recall an instance when my cousin went to actual jail for my godmother. She had drunkenly started a bar fight. My cousin knew she wasn’t going to win so, along with the rest of my cousins, he stepped in and fought, too. He took the blame when the cops arrived, and spent a few nights locked up. I do have to say, though, we’re bonded by blood, not love. If we weren’t related, we would despise each other. I’ve never completely grasped this concept. I hate their shallow, insensitive, sexist, racist, homophobic personalities and beliefs, but I would never let a soul lay a hand on them. Kind of like a sibling relationship. I love my family and their silly superstitions like your mother brooming your feet as a sign you’ll never get married or if you get a stye, you made a pregnant woman very angry at you. They just get to be a little too much to handle sometimes. If you also have a toxic family, I recommend trying to understand them first. They were raised by generations upon generations of terribly rude people so that’s all they know how to be. They didn’t have the best examples growing up, but we have the power to break that cycle. We have to be strong and more mature than our parents and elders. We can raise our children to be considerate and kind human beings. If you need help coping with your current situation, though, do your best to talk to someone or simply ignore your family’s unhealthy habits. Don’t give them the power to ruin your childhood.
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What is affirmative action? For some people, it is seen as a potential equalizer that can help minorities. For others, affirmative action is seen as something that hinders certain minorities. According to the Oxford Dictionary, affirmative action is “(in the context of the allocation of resources or employment) the practice or policy of favoring individuals belonging to groups known to have been discriminated against previously.” For many Asian households, affirmative action is a terrible thing for their children. How could something that is seen as an equalizer for minorities, be something viewed negatively? Many Asian parents believe that affirmative action will prevent their children from getting into college. College admissions are already very difficult for many high-schoolers, since they have to focus on extracurriculars, while balancing out difficult classes, challenging sports and teenage drama. For many Asian parents, affirmative action will harm their children’s chances of getting into college. Not only are parents concerned; Asian students are also frustrated by affirmative action. In Students for Fair Admissions v. Harvard, a group of Asian-American students argued that Harvard had discriminated against Asian-American students. The plaintiffs, (the Asian-American students,) argued that Harvard had imposed a racial quota, preventing a large Asian-American population at Harvard. The plaintiffs argued that the percentage of Asian-American applicants had grown, but the percentage of Asian-Americans admitted still remained the same. Additionally, Asian-Americans received lower ‘personality’ ratings, with applicants being rated as poorer leaders, unkind, meek (not brave), and unlikeable, compared to other applicants. However, Asian-American applicants received much higher scores when it came to test scores, grades, and extracurriculars. Because of their lower personality ratings, many Asian-American applicants were rejected from Harvard, despite scoring the highest in most categories. An economist from Duke argued that an Asian-American applicant who had the same score as a non-Asian applicant, would be least likely to be accepted, having an acceptance rate of 25%. However, if a black applicant had the same score, the chance of acceptance would be 95%. A Latinx applicant would have an acceptance rate of 77%, while a white applicant would have an acceptance rate of 36%. However, Harvard argued that the percentage of admitted Asian-Americans has grown 4%, from 17% to 21%, despite the fact that Asian-Americans make up 6% of the American population. Although Harvard ended up winning the lawsuit, this group of brave Asian-American students has filed an appeal. Meanwhile, in California, to the relief of many Asian parents, Proposition 16 (which proposed to allow affirmative action in higher education) didn’t pass. For those who are in favor of affirmative action, many people were upset that Proposition 16 didn’t pass, believing that Latinx and African-American communities would continue to face hardships when being accepted into colleges. However, I firmly believe that affirmative action is unfair to Asian-Americans. As an Asian-American, it’s common knowledge that the Asian-American population has always had a hard time getting into college. As a member of an “overrepresented” minority when it comes to college, I’ve accepted the fact that I would have to work harder to achieve my dreams. I’m thankful that Proposition 16 hadn’t passed; if Proposition 16 had passed, it would’ve made it much more difficult for all Asian-Americans to get into college. For those who argue that affirmative action would help underrepresented minorities, affirmative action is not the correct solution. Affirmative action allows reverse discrimination to occur. Instead of allowing affirmative action, we must focus on improving the education of underrepresented minorities in college. Many Latinx and black communities face inequality in education; as teenagers, we can work together to help solve these problems. Many organizations, such as CovEd and Engage STEM are working to decrease the inequality in education, to help these underrepresented minorities. The issue of affirmative action is that it requires logical thinking. Affirmative action has allowed the Asian-American community to bond. For the first time, many Asian-Americans voted, in hopes of keeping equality and fairness for their children. They bonded together and protested against affirmative action, fighting back against the stereotype that Asian-Americans don’t fight for what is right. I hope this article helped you understand affirmative action better. I’ve attached a few articles to help you navigate affirmative action. -Jade http://care.gseis.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/care-brief-raceblind.pdf https://www.nationalaffairs.com/publications/detail/the-sad-irony-of-affirmative-action https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/10/the-painful-truth-about-affirmative-action/263122/ https://stopprop16.org https://www.mercurynews.com/2020/09/17/proposition-16-why-some-asian-americans-are-on-the-front-lines-of-the-campaign-against-affirmative-action/ https://studentsforfairadmissions.org Jade |
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Teenagers With Experience is an online organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people.
Please note that the content on this website is created by teenagers. While we strive to provide accurate and helpful information, it is important to remember that we are not professional experts. If you are experiencing a crisis or need professional advice, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional or a helpline. |