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By Mel Some people just don’t understand my actions and that’s why I always worry about staying over at a friend’s house. I like to eat at home; it’s my safe space, and I can do as I please (talking reasonably).
So what happens when I’m invited out for lunch or get invited around to a friend’s house for tea? Well, that’s when my article comes into play. See, having bulimia nervosa comes with many different types of behaviours, for example: When I go out for a meal, I ask for it to be taken away. Now, why would you ask for ltake away unch when you came out to eat with your friend? That’s what a lot of people would think. But, if you’re my friend, you’d understand. As someone who overthinks, I think that everyone cares about what I’m doing, but truly they don’t. They just want to eat their food with their company. Another example of bulimia actions/ behaviours is I’m currently at my partner's new flat, so it’s a bit new for me to be staying over in an environment where I’m not used to being with someone else when I eat,as I usually eat alone in my room. I bought food that I wanted to eat at home, but it was still hot so I let it cool on the side. However, since my partner was there, I started overthinking about what he thought of me assuming he would say, “Why on earth has she got food in a bag just there?” I was walking around, hiding the food because I didn’t want him to see me with it in case he would be disgusted with me. When I’m around people, I buy tons and tons of food to stock your bedroom or kitchen. For me, it’s my bedroom -on’t worry, I put the refrigerated food where it should be downstairs in the fridge - with small snacks like crips. I feel awful, and every month, I have a moment where I feel so disgusted in myself. So what do I do? I beat myself up and then I go through the food I’ve got, cry to myself and put them in bags to take downstairs. Once there,I ask my parents to take it away from me as it was making me feel depressed. It’s the first time I’m writing about this, and it’s been happening for many years. It feels good to get it off my chest that I suffer from this because I don’t know if other people have this behaviour too. I guess that’s the next step for me on this journey; I’ve tackled the first stage of opening up. Now, it’s trying to find out if there are other people out there who know this feeling and how they deal/dealt with it. Onwards, I’m hoping to manage my eating with more stability that I do at this moment. And to be able to reach out to others who suffer with Bulimia, listen to their stories to hopefully gain knowledge and new ways of coping with my emotions other than stress binging. It will be a very hard cycle to break after so many years, but I’m willing to try anything at this point.
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By Mel Eating disorders often involve a combination of psychological, biological, and social factors. They're not just about food or weight; they're often intertwined with deep-seated emotional and psychological issues such as low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.
I’ve suffered from Bulimia Nervosa since I was 10 - now turning 26, that’s a lot of years taken away from my life due to this illness. The hard truth is that it becomes a part of you, and it’s hard to part ways with something you’ve relied on for so long. Another hard truth is that individuals with eating disorders often struggle with social relationships and may withdraw from friends and family due to shame, guilt, or fear of judgment. This is very true because I find it very hard to go out for family meals or just to have a conversation about food, as it makes me feel uncomfortable or awkward. There's still a lot of misunderstanding and stigma surrounding eating disorders, which can prevent individuals from seeking help or receiving proper support. This is why a lot of cases of mental illnesses are unknown due to the lack of support and help out there. In recent years, the eating disorder has taken some serious physical effects on me, such as:
To manage these symptoms, I’m taking the time I need to rest as that’s best for my body and not ignoring when my body needs to sleep. I try to have regular checkups with the doctor and have my blood taken at least every month. With the tooth problems, I always use mouthwash to help slow the process down but to also clean out the food in my gums and teeth. Memory loss affects me the most, so I tend to write in my journal every day about what has happened so I can look back on it and remind myself. Also, a good tool to use if you have these problems is a to do list or schedule. Those are just some of the side effects and dark truths about how severe an eating disorder can get without any help. If you are looking for help then please visit the websites below or call the helplines provided! Beat 0808 801 0677 (England) 0808 801 0433 (Wales) Website: beateatingdisorders.org.uk Overeaters Anonymous Great Britain Website: oagb.org.uk Samaritans 116 123 (freephone) Website: https://www.samaritans.org/ Talk ED talk-ed.org.uk National Alliance for Eating Disorders Hotline Phone: 1-866-662-1235 Website: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/ |
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Teenagers With Experience is an online organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people.
Please note that the content on this website is created by teenagers. While we strive to provide accurate and helpful information, it is important to remember that we are not professional experts. If you are experiencing a crisis or need professional advice, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional or a helpline. |