Depression is like a shadow

When one is walking around, enjoying their family’s company there will always be a follower. The first thought that may come to your mind is one’s shadow- well you’re not wrong there. But in this case it’s depression, a mental illness that might just suddenly drop your mood. 

Today was one of those situations which I wanted to enjoy as I was visiting my brother who had moved out a few years back. He now lives in Newcastle, England. He met this beautiful girl called Autumn and then they made it official that they were boyfriend and girlfriend. 

When myself and my parents picked up my brother and his girlfriend, we all went to the Metro Centre which is a big shopping centre. Straight away me and Autumn headed to the Disney store. Autumn decided to buy a Stitch teddy whilst I went for the wee pig from Moana known as Pua.

After that, we walked around the shopping centre just looking what shops there were. I could feel my mood slowly dropping like water going down the drain. I began to get negative thoughts about being the odd one out as there were five of us, myself being the youngest.

We walked into spoons for some lunch, the place was packed so it was hard to find a table for five. So we got a table for four and then a two seated table too. They all sat on the four seated table but myself was left to sit on the other, so for me it was hard to hear everyone and trying to join in with the conversations I felt like I was invisible. 

After lunch, we headed onto more shops to find some Christmas presents. I could just feel myself slowly tagging along like a lost puppy. The four of them went into a shop and I just waited outside as I didn’t feel up to going into the shop with them.
  I stood there looking over the balcony just thinking, ‘Why am I even here’ or other thoughts like, ‘I hate myself so much, no one cares’. 

It’s thoughts like these that ruin such grand situations, making you feel worthless. But I know I’m not the only one out there who gets these kind of thoughts. There are other people who feel like no one else cares about them, sometimes just thinking about that gives me a wee bit of hope because I’m not alone if that makes sense. 

Depression is a killer but you’re not the only one who suffers. Reach out and do what I do, tell people about it! Share your experiences even if it’s just as simple as my situation. It just shows others that they can relate to you and reach out for help.

Here’s some tips and tricks on how I deal with depression; 

Crafts: Distracting yourself with creative thinking is a huge advantage for me!
Joining Zumba Classes: Since I found my courage to join a Zumba class, I've enjoyed going every week!
Mindful Photography: Take up photography with a focus on mindfulness. Capture the beauty around you, paying attention to the details and living in the moment.
Build a Sensory Kit: Create a kit with items that engage your senses (e.g., scented candles, textured objects, soothing music). Use it when you need comfort or distraction.

Mel

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Mel

​Public Reach and Media Creation Director​
​They/Them

One interesting thing about me is that I am friends with the Irish duo Jedward!