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By Mel Rose Attending therapy can feel like stepping into uncharted territory, whether it’s your very first session or one of many. I think the right word to use is ‘overwhelming.’.
I’m going to share the quiet rituals that help me and others feel grounded beforehand, to the honest moments that unfold in the room. I’ll also offer a personal glimpse into the process, aiming to make it feel a little less daunting and a lot more human. I remember my first time attending therapy, which was over 15 years ago!- It was daunting. All I could think about was “what I'm going to expect, what’s going to happen to me?” So, how did I prepare myself for my first therapy session? Well, that’s it, I didn’t. And that’s where I went wrong, BUT I don’t doubt myself because of it. It was a new learning experience for me, so how did I know what to expect? At this time in my life, my parents had to attend the therapy session with me, which was not helpful, but looking back on it now, I’m glad they did! I say that is because I don’t think I’d be able to continue my journey with therapy and learning about my disorder(s) without the support of my parents. It also meant they were learning at the same time as I, so I wasn’t alone doing it. Moving to the next few sessions, I started to take a list or a little journal with me so I could note down the advice and information they were giving me. This was to help me understand what I was dealing with. I will admit that in the first few weeks of therapy, I was in denial of what I had and if I did have a problem(s) or not. Looking back on that, I know now, yes, I did and still do, but I’m much better than I was at the start when I was fighting this by myself. Moving forward, I started to make a list of things to ask when I was in therapy. This was VERY helpful as it let me understand what I was feeling and find ways to deal with it, for example: What patterns do you notice in my thoughts or behaviours? How can I tell the difference between my feelings and my reactions? What might be triggering my anxiety/sadness/frustration? Preparing a list beforehand really helped bring me into the conversation more, as at first I was taken aback because I was confused about what was going on as I was learning about my disorders. ( As the years went on and I gained more knowledge about what I was up against, I took my strategy of making lists with me. I started asking my therapist to assign me homework so that I could do some research at home as well, and not just have my “therapy sessions” once a week. This would be something I could take home with me. My therapist started to make printable therapy questions and worksheets, which I found fun to do. Not many people enjoy the normal “homework”, but this was a different type of homework. I was learning about myself, and it was, in a way, enjoyable! Preparing for a therapy session isn’t about having all the right answers—it’s about giving yourself the space to show up as you are. Whether your pre-session ritual involves journaling, taking a quiet walk, or simply taking a deep breath before you go in, those moments can make the conversation feel more open and grounded. The more you prepare with intention, the more room you create for insight, honesty, and healing to unfold. Therapy is a journey, and every session is a step toward understanding yourself a little better.
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By Mel Therapy can seem like a pretty scary thing to even think about let alone start. That’s what I thought anyway when I was told I would benefit from starting therapy.
My first therapy session, let’s say didn’t go well.. But that’s because I was new to it. I was new to my health condition, I was a young person dealing with something I knew nothing about. I thought therapy was a jail where they kept you for an hour or two and made you sit to listen. But throughout the years, I came to learn it was the complete opposite. A few therapy sessions down the line, I was starting to see some progress. But still, it was very hard for me to come to terms with what exactly I was dealing with and how serious it was! But I wasn’t the only one who found it hard, it was very hard for my parents too! During the time, I didn’t think anything of it. I justit I just thought I was being targeted but now I look back on it, I was completely wrong, they wanted to help me! A few things I learnt from my first time in therapy were;
Over the years, therapy becamebecome a weekly focus for me during high school. After school sessions, I would dread the most because I just wanted to go home but now when I go to therapy I look forward to it. The reason I look forward to it now is that I feel like I can share my thoughts and feelings that I’ve been having and then get advice on what and how to deal with them. One of the best things I’ve gained from therapy is journalling, I spend a few moments a day writing in my multiple journals (yes I do have quite a lot!) But each journal has a specific topic, but also you can get creative with the pages too! But also, from therapy, I found out what I want my future goal to be in life and that’s to become a mental health nurse or something to do with helping people who have experienced what I have. I want to share my stories and knowledge about mental health to guide people in the right direction. I have done various volunteering for mental health charities so that’s just the start of my journey! By Yara Therapy isn’t always pleasant. Painful memories, frustration, fear might sometimes seep to the surface. Therapy is both a partnership between you and your therapist, and a safe place. But what if your therapist is the reason for your unpleasant experience? What if you feel as though they are not giving you concrete advice or forcing you to speak upon a topic you don’t want to?
I can recall nervously sitting across from my therapist and illustrating all incidents of bullying I had gone through, even though I didn’t want to share them. I would complete all the tasks she had assigned me and share my feelings and problems, but I never receive concrete techniques to cope with my problems or make me feel better. Our CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) sessions were about 10 minutes long - 6x lower than the average - and mostly consisted of her listening and giving me a task. She often treated me like I was faking my problems. I would never receive the time I had paid for and was usually rushed out of the door. Wasn’t I opting for therapy in order to receive concrete advice to ease my problems? Wasn’t she supposed to help me learn to cope with my problems and make me feel better? At that time, I said nothing. But now I know I do have an option to communicate my concerns with her behavior towards both me and my parents. I could say that it wasn’t working out for me. It took time, but I have learned that I can set boundaries with my therapist. Setting boundaries with anyone is difficult. Since we have not been directly taught to set boundaries, we are often hesitant to set them or cannot put them into words. So, here are few strategies you can use to set boundaries with your therapist:
These are just a few of the techniques you can try! However, sometimes even setting boundaries cannot help. In such instances, it’s easier to walk away. Many therapists will respect and accept your boundaries. Good therapists remember these boundaries and give you the respect you deserve. Extra resource: https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/6-strategies-for-setting-boundaries-with-your-therapist/ By Heidy If you have read our other articles on Teenagers with Experience, you may have noticed that a majority of our articles will include additional resources to reach out to if any of our readers need someone to talk to. These resources will commonly be helplines.
We may already have someone in our lives to talk to, such as a trusted friend, romantic partner, or relative. Even when we have someone to reach out to, expressing our emotional pain to anyone can feel uncomfortable, scary, or we might believe that we can handle our pain independently. Speaking up about our issues takes an enormous amount of courage. And when we do speak up, connections amongst those who care about us will strengthen and relationships will grow closer. Talking about what we're going through with someone else feels comforting because when someone else knows about our challenges, we no longer feel as though we have to face our battles alone. Alternatively, talking to our close loved ones may also present a few drawbacks. With good intentions, our loved ones can offer us biased suggestions that aren't always useful or try ways to make us feel better but end up making us feel worse. When my boyfriend, Dan, died in 2018, I was miserable. I remember one person, as a way to comfort me, told me, "I know how you feel. I lost my baby due to a miscarriage." Although they may have wanted to make me feel understood and connected, that was one of the last things that I wanted to hear: more tragic deaths. While I was feeling bitter and bereaved, I wanted to believe that they didn't know how I felt, even if they did experience an awful, heartbreaking loss as well. All I wanted was to be listened to. Aside from conversations that try to be helpful but can end up minimizing how we feel, we also tend to hold back from becoming vulnerable for several reasons. I sometimes hate myself but I don't like telling my mom that because she gets angry that I use a strong word like "hate." So, I play it down and say, "I don't feel good about myself." When we're under distress and in crisis or we're simply not feeling emotionally well, this is where experienced mental health professionals can step in. The other day, I reached out to the Crisis Text Line when I was experiencing thoughts of suicidal ideation. I didn't want anyone to worry but I knew I needed support right away. Just the act of opening up and having to no longer keep these thoughts to myself made the emotional pain manageable. The trained crisis counselor listened and empathized. That was really all I needed to feel at ease and ready to take on the world again. By the end of our text-based conversation, I had a plan for what I would do to cope and distract myself to keep myself safe for that night. Looking for mental health hotlines is a Google search away. I have also included several numbers down below for those who live in the U.S. and the U.K. Whatever mental health issue you are experiencing (LGBTQ+A, domestic violence, sexual assault, bullying, depression, anxiety, self-injury, etc.), there is a chance that there is a crisis hotline for it. I used to think that hotlines were exclusively for those who were under an urgent mental health emergency. On the contrary! Anyone can reach out. A lot of people contact hotlines like Crisis Text Line after a romantic break-up, a family argument, an anxiety-inducing exam, or friendship troubles. If you're experiencing emotional pain and need someone to talk to, that is reason enough to call or text for support. Several hotlines are available 24/7. Sometimes late night hours are when people can feel at most vulnerable to their emotional and mental issues due to rumination, inability to sleep, or other potential causes. Do not worry about proper etiquette - reach out at 3AM, if you need to speak to a mental health professional at that moment! Above all, these confidential mental health services are 100% free. Reaching out for help isn’t easy so be proud of yourself when you take that big step to open up about your struggles. Hotline Contact Information for U.S. and U.K. residents United States National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN): 1-800-656-4673 National Eating Disorders Association: 1-800-931-2237 (Monday - Thursday 11AM-9PM ET, Friday 11AM-5PM ET) National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-786-2929 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): 1-800-662-4357 Warmlines: https://screening.mhanational.org/content/need-talk-someone-warmlines/ United Kingdom: Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 85258 Anxiety UK: Call 03444 775 774 | Text 07537 416 905 Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre: 0808 802 9999 (12:00 - 14:30, 19:00 - 21:30 everyday) Survivors UK: Male Rape and Sexual Abuse: chat online at https://www.survivorsuk.org/ or chat via SMS at 020 3322 1860 Childline: 0800 1111 Samaritans: 116 123 Shout: Text SHOUT to 85258 Switchboard LGBT: 0300 330 0630 (10:00-22:00 every day) You matter. You're important. You're loved. And your presence on this earth makes a difference, whether you see it or not! |
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Teenagers With Experience is an online organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people.
Please note that the content on this website is created by teenagers. While we strive to provide accurate and helpful information, it is important to remember that we are not professional experts. If you are experiencing a crisis or need professional advice, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional or a helpline. |