Dear Diary: Freda’s Design

By Eloise

Dear Diary,
I really should stop posting content, I’m aware, but at the moment, I just can’t help myself. 
My account has so many views now. I have so many followers, and all my posts are doing so well. I just want to get recognised, really. And then I’ll stop. I promise. Every time I draw something new or sew together new fabrics and create a new style, I just have to put it up with the others. 

This week, I made a lilac and pale sage green ballgown, with tiny pink roses lining the bottom trim. I used this gorgeous satin that I found in a charity shop full of fabrics, and the inner green sparkly netting from one of my Tinkerbell dresses from when I was younger. It looked so beautiful once I’d put it all together, and I teared up a little bit. I put it on the mannequin in the corner of my room, and when my mum came upstairs, she took one look at it and sat at the end of my bed in awe. 

She said, and she often says this, “Freda…” with a little sigh, and a hand on my shoulder, “You’ve outdone yourself this time.”

And I smiled, looked at the dress and fell asleep happier. 

Of course, this dress just had to go on my social media page. I call it Fredaswispyfashion as most of the items I put on there (and sometimes sell) are fantasy feeling, like my pirate set from a couple of years ago, where I tore apart a load of men’s shirts and made this beautiful pair of trousers, using a corset-type top to hold them, and the white shirt I modelled, together. 

It’s quite well-loved, my social media account. I have so many comments underneath my posts, most of them from Meadow and Ella, to be honest, but some from strangers, too. Meadow usually just spams me with lots of random emojis. Ella writes the same thing on every post: ‘love it’ with a heart emoji and a smiley face. That’s Ella all over. 

There are also some less nice comments. I would guess they are from people at school, who are likely jealous of my ability to do something different, but I don’t think about them much. 
On Tuesday, we were all talking at breaktime about my new Instagram account, as my old one got hacked. 

Meadow was, as usual, mucking around and play-throwing things at me and Hazel. Hazel was drawing some beautiful wintery scene she’d spotted on the way to school, and also, as usual, Natalie was hanging out with this horrible girl from our year, Daisy. Who, realistically, could not care less about Natalie, and is just using her to get the attention of this boy she likes, who seems to like Natalie. 

Meadow began by talking about her new job and how she’d asked for more hours.
“Any time of the day, I’ve asked for,” she said, throwing a piece of cheese at Hazel, who shook her head and laughed a little. 

I snapped my head up, “What, you mean during school time?” 

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like I’m any good at school anyway. I’m always in detentio, or failing the class, so what does it matter?” Meadow said, giving me a weak smile, and continuing to pick apart the sandwich she found on the floor. I shook my head, but Meadow was already looking away.

She got up to talk to Josh, who was passing by, and Hazel asked about my social media account. We started discussing how you can use it to push your way into a career when Ella rushed up to us, all flustered. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked, beckoning her to sit down. She looked at the wall, with such a mixture of panic and flapping her hands wildly, that I stopped and waited for her to calm down. 
A person passing by saw her and started laughing. Another leaned over and put her hand on Ella’s shoulder. She froze and started shaking her head. 

“It’s okay, please leave her,” I said to the person passing, and waved her off. She looked at me with a shrug of my being rude and walked in the other direction. I could hear her telling her friends how obnoxious I was. 

“No… touching…” Ella drew out, between breaths and tears. She crunched up into a small ball on the bench. 

“I know,” I replied, and Hazel, who had looked up momentarily, began drawing again, and telling Ella what it was she was drawing. Ella was still breathing rapidly and crying whilst rocking herself a little, but I knew Hazel was calming her slightly. 

I told her about my new dress, describing the trim of the bottom and the style of the puff sleeves. I told her she could come over and try it on if she liked, as I had made it to fit her size. I always make my dresses sizeable for Ella, as she is the most careful and will usually let me use her as a model. Nat used to model for me as well, when we were a bit younger. Of course, recently she’s far too cool to try on any clothes that don’t make her look ten years older. 

In this, she calmed down a lot and had enough of herself back that she could nod her head. I knew we wouldn’t get any words out of her for a couple of hours, but I could tell she was feeling better again. 

At this point, Natalie came over, with Daisy in tow, who immediately asked:
“What’s wrong with her?” Daisy fluffed her hair and looked at me for the answer. 

I gave her a glare that said, ‘it’s none of your business,’ and then said, “It’s none of your business.”
Daisy laughed and shrugged her shoulders, unbothered. She said, “Fine, whatever. She’s such a freak,” and she walked off, telling Natalie she’d see her after class. 

Natalie stood there, looking mildly embarrassed. 

“Is she… are you okay?” Natalie asked, looking at Ella, who was looking at the floor. 
Ella remained completely silent, so I said, “No, she’s not okay, and thank you for coming over after it was over.” 

Natalie merely looked at Ella, and then at me. 

“What’s with all the going off anyway?” I questioned, “You’re never around us anymore. You’re always with that Daisy girl, who is rude, by the way.”

Meadow rejoined us then, and she began talking to Hazel about some project they both need to complete in music. 

Natalie opened her mouth, as if to respond, and then shut it, and simply said, “I’ll see you later. I like your new account; the dresses look good.” She waivered at Ella, and then poked Hazel, “I’ll see you in science. Meadow?” Meadow looked up. Natalie added, “After school, yeah?” 
Meadow stuck her thumb up and nodded. 

Natalie left then, and I asked Meadow, “What’re you doing after school?” 
“I’m going to see if I can get Nat a job too, at my work.”
“Oh,” I said, and I thought for a moment, “Could you ask her to stand up for us once in a while?”
Meadow sighed. “I can try,” she replied. 


Dear Diary,
Ella came over and tried on the lilac dress. It looked so beautiful on her; I wanted her to keep it so much. But she said it was too special for me to part with, and she gave it back to me, promising to come back and try it on again. 

I put all the photos of the dress online. Not the ones of Ella, of course, I am well aware that she gets enough slack at school without being criticised online as well. But I made a new post, with all the pictures of the dress on the mannequin, and in the long green reeds outside my bedroom. I sat and filtered the lighting and my sketches pre-dress, until they were exactly perfect for the aesthetic of my account. 

As soon as they were posted, I placed my phone in my room and went downstairs to eat dinner so I couldn’t see if the lilac dress was gaining traction. When I came back, a couple of hours later, my post had exploded. 

I gave a happy squeal and sat and scrolled through the comments.
‘Wow, this is so beautiful. Could you make one for me for Comicon in a month?’
‘I love this! My daughter wants to have a version. Would you make one for her for Tuesday?’
‘Can you make one for my birthday in two weeks?’
‘I really love the design, have you considered it in blue? I would love it in blue.’
I sat down and scrolled. Over eighty comments, all wanting their own versions of the dress, all in different colours and sizes. 
I looked at my maths homework, the stack of assignments piling up, and I looked at the lilac dress at the bottom of my room. 
I sat down at my desk. Four by next week, seven by the week after, twenty after that… 
I picked up my sewing scissors.

Freda