Destroying your Doubts

By Tabitha

​As I sat in my room wondering whether I was good enough to apply for this placement or not, I had to ask: what’s the worst that could happen? Being doubtful of my abilities is a regularity in my life. I never think I am good at anything even though I continue to prove time and time again that I am. Is it because of the high expectations of myself or just the fact I’ve never believed anything other than the fact I’ll never be good enough? Perhaps it is both.

I think doubt is a commonality between all of us. How we experience doubt may differ within our day to day lives. Doubts may have risen from relationships - intimate, friendships family - school or work life or others experience doubt. No matter where it occurs, doubts can have a serious impact on your life, inhibiting you from achieving your full potential.

I often find myself overthink things instead of just living through them. I often find myself overthinking things that could be rather than living them. I've had to deal with doubt in many stages in my life. It got so bad that it affected my progress and relationships with other people. I began to doubt myself so much I lost my sense of worth. I doubt my friendships, I doubt my capabilities, I doubt my worth. I experience doubtful thoughts which really hinder my performance in academics, personal life, and work life. So when this happens I use these failures to further justify my doubts. 

A recent experience was when I was starting my new project at university. There were two options to pick from and I wanted to go with the second option. Upon realising that the majority of my course was opting for the first option I started to worry that I wouldn’t perform as well as the others and I was setting myself up for failure. My doubt began to sink further even when I presented my idea to my lecturer. I was only reassured when I was reminded that I have more of an edge by doing something that is different from others.

I often try to put on a brave face so that others don’t realise how worried I am about my abilities however that doesn’t help me or even them in understanding what I can handle. The fact that I didn’t share anything made it difficult for others to help me overcome my doubts.

Overcoming doubt is much easier said than done. I still think I have a long way to go with it but here are a few tips that helped pave a way for me to begin that journey:

What's the worst that could happen?
I would like to say there is overthinking and overlooking all possibilities. Overthinking happens to the best of us and causes us to be hesitant with our actions, potentially failing to ever carry them out. Overlooking on the other hand gives us an objective view of all the possibilities of a given outcome. Instead of dwelling on a potential problem that may happen as a result of your actions, remind yourself - what’s the worst that could happen? For example, doubt may keep you from applying for a job or work experience, but the worst that could possibly happen is that they say no. If that is the case, you move onto the next one. The fact that you even took the chance to apply in the first place means that you had have more of an opportunity of getting that job if you didn’t apply.

Keep yourself grounded
It is so easy to get lost in your own thoughts, wondering what would happen if you took your next step, how that would affect you and others. Doubts can lead you into a place of uncertainty and it is difficult to get out of it. In those times you must remember to keep yourself grounded. Find something that takes your mind out of that difficult place of worry. Perhaps a calming activity such as knitting or reading a book. Transport yourself into a world of carefreeness to allow yourself to relax and look at things from a different perspective. You will find more often than not, taking the time to keep yourself grounded helps you stay focused and aware of your situation to make sure you pick the best possible option.

Treat your mind as another person
This is a trick which I find the most difficult but also the most helpful. Treating your mind as another person means that you’re not giving advice to yourself but rather someone else. You’re not comforting yourself, but rather someone else. Those who doubt often find it easier to give advice and help someone else because they have experienced similar things, but when they have to do the same for themselves, they will never follow through because the overthinking takes over. I am guilty of this constantly. By treating your mind as another person, you’re able to speak to your mind from the perspective of someone who doesn’t see the spiral of doubts and who doesn’t need to. You only see the facts and that’s what your mind should see as well. 

Open up.
It is perfectly okay to talk about what you’re doubtful about. The likelihood is, someone else may be feeling the same way and that will probably help to change your perspective on things, theirs as well. Talking about your doubt can also raise some more doubts however the feeling of getting that off your chest is so relaxing, it lets you notice how much you will have been holding. The reassurance someone else gives to you after talking about what you’re doubtful about is more important than you will ever know. Even if it may not help entirely, you’ve got a memory to remind you that you are capable and you are worth it. That small memory is what will keep you going.