Fights with your Best Friend

By Melody

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Having a best friend can change your life for the better. This doesn’t mean that everything is going to be perfect in that friendship. There will be many ups and downs, but how you deal with it can help affect the outcome of the entire situation. When you are close enough to someone you can begin to open up to that person. It is not the end of the world when you and your bestie get into an argument. Sometimes in order to become closer with someone, you might have to have different opinions on things or disagreements to become closer. It might not seem like it at the moment, but you will learn more about each other in the long run.  

Best friends who have disagreements here and there are totally normal. The reason why this is not that uncommon is that you two can be 100% honest with each other and not be afraid of judging one another. Along with this, if you are too brutally honest it can cause someone to second guess what you have to say. 

In my experience, I have had many arguments or misunderstandings with my 2 best friends. It has ranged from slight fights to more immense ones over things that shouldn’t even be worth fighting for. One time my best friend and I fought because I embarrassed her in front of a boy she liked. I was trying to be comedic, but she thought otherwise. I didn't know what to do because I didn't see anything wrong in the moment, and all I wanted to do was prove that I was right no matter what. That is not at all what you want to do in this situation since you are not always right. It might feel like you are, but sometimes people do things out of anger and/or they don't see the other person’s opinion. Therefore that person might be right as well, but you are blindsided by your own perspective. 

The first step that has helped me is to understand what the other person is feeling. If you put yourself in their shoes you can see what they are trying to express to you. Another thing you have to realize is that they might not always want to talk to you, but communication is THE most important thing when arguing with friends. When my friends and I talked about how we both felt, we got to see a different perspective that was not clear to us in the beginning. So talk about how you can improve both sides of the friendship and your feelings. Other times, I never told them what I was thinking because I thought they already knew what was going on by somehow reading my mind. Another thing I find helpful is to give it time. In the heat of the moment, it might not be the best idea to say what is on your mind. After a couple of hours or a day, you had enough time to calm down and to reflect. This can lead to a more clear conversation with no impulsive arguing. 

A key takeaway that I learned from these types of situations is to understand we are still trying to learn how to be a better friend. This might take time but is totally worth the wait. 

All in all, best friends have ups and downs. Sometimes you may be in the wrong, but figuring out how to help yourself as well as others can be beneficial in any argument.  ​