I Feel It Coming

By Camille

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It happened. Again. It does not matter how I am feeling or what I was doing, it never fails to make its presence known. I can feel it rumbling in my chest, slowly creeping in my bones, begging to be let out. I feel helpless in these moments, and I hate every second of it. 

Anxiety has always had a place in my life. Unfortunately, it has become a bigger problem as I grow older, becoming a thorn in my side. Nowadays it feels as though I am in a constant state of anxiety, with the occasional flare-ups. Compared to how I feel during a flare-up, I do not necessarily mind being in a constant state of anxiety. But, that does not mean I don’t yearn for the years when my only anxiety came from having to speak in front of the class. 

My constant state of anxiety derives from my constant worrying about my future. I know what I want to do, but I am worried that I might not achieve that, and while I have a backup plan, it doesn’t sound as enticing as my initial plans. While my continuous anxiousness isn’t too bothersome, it is the sudden intensity of anxiety at times that is causing me to write this article. 

I have never experienced flare-ups before so when I faced my first one, I did not know how to react. The flare-ups I had were extreme anxiety that was very stubborn and did not want to leave my system. A flare-up is defined as a sudden outburst of something. One moment I am content, then I experience a flare-up that causes my anxiety levels to spike. In fact, I never even realized it was a flare-up until I continued to have them and realized I had the same symptoms. The symptoms I had during these episodes include:

• Overwhelming anxiety
  
• Pounding heart
  
• Restlessness
  
• Racing thoughts
  
• Agitation
  

While these just describe a few, these are the most prominent symptoms I feel. I find myself constantly pacing, trying to soothe these thoughts, but to no avail. 

The hardest part about dealing with these episodes is the sole fact that I am doing it alone. I was never one to voice my thoughts aloud, the only way I speak my feelings is through writing articles, hoping to find some sort of solace from those that read them. On the other hand, since America does not offer free healthcare to all, I cannot receive any medication or medical attention without having to spend money I don’t even have. 

My solutions to these problems come from reading articles from other people experiencing the same thing, research, and trial and error. My main word of advice is if you can get help, please do so; whether that be in the form of professional counselling and/or medication. If you find yourself unable to do so, then you can refer to my list below on ways I found useful in being able to soothe my flare-ups of anxiety, or other ways I found via research. 

• Take a deep breath. If I am going to be 100% honest, this technique has never helped me. I always find anxiety flaring up more with each deep breath I take.
  
• Think positively. The main source of my anxiety is negative thoughts about the worst that can happen. 
  
• Think about the future. This one has been a life-saver. A way to soothe my anxiety immediately is by imagining myself in the future, living the exact life that I want.
  
• Take a walk. One of the biggest symptoms of my anxiety is the restlessness I feel. I can combat this feeling by getting up every couple of minutes and moving around to attempt to gather my thoughts. 
  
• Talk to someone. While I do not practice this, that doesn’t mean you can’t. Even a little reassurance can make you feel better. 
  
• Listen to music. Immerse yourself in another world, even if it isn't forever, it can definitely help you in the moment. 
  
• Realize it isn’t always going to be this way. These feelings you have are temporary, and you will feel better eventually. I know that’s cliche but that truly is how it works.
  

These are just a few ways to help you maintain anxiety, you can find plenty of other ways upon further research. 

Anxiety is no fun. In this day and age, it is, unfortunately, becoming more common. When it comes to flare-ups, it is easy to feel helpless, but that isn’t the case. These episodes may make you feel as though you cannot overcome them, but you can combat these overwhelming feelings. You will reach a point in which you no longer have to fight anxiety. The sun will come out, the grass will grow, the birds will start chirping, and everything will fall into place. Just hold on, my friend.

If you or anyone you know is facing anxiety or feelings of depression, please get help.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline - This link will take you to a page of various helplines, and a FAQ page for any questions you may have. 
Remedy Live - For those who do not wish to speak, Remedy Live includes a 24/7 chat service.
Mind - This website includes links useful for those who face mental health issues. This is for those based in the UK.