Late Blooming

By Lana

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What does it mean to be mature? As there doesn’t seem to be a checklist to check off as you age, nor is there a quiz that you can take to identify your maturity level, it is incredibly frustrating as a teenager to understand the word. Thus, it is natural to compare ourselves with our environment and peers. While this could help with forming an idea about what maturity means, it may cause some people to feel insecure about themselves. While you may ask yourself, “why can't I be or look more mature,” it may just be that you are a late bloomer. 

To understand this term, let's first go through several broad ideas surrounding the word “maturity.” 

Physical maturity 

This kind of maturity is particularly focused on the physiological changes that you may go through during puberty. With spiraling hormones and sudden physical changes, some may consider this the first step to maturing. However, being “physically mature” can also deal with how you observe your peers finding their own identity. As a teenager, this is common where you can explore your looks through clothing, hair, and makeup and make yourself feel more confident and mature as a person.

Emotional maturity

Based on the experiences you go through as you grow older, you will constantly develop ways to deal with emotions during conflicting and difficult times. This may be shown through characteristics such as self control, calmness, confidence, and perseverance. Of course, building emotional maturity is not limited to a certain time period. Everyone’s experiences are unique, allowing them to continuously build their emotional development.

Cognitive maturity 

This refers to the information you retain that builds up your thought process. Through experiences, such as school or life events, it allows you to create your own set of beliefs and morals, alongside the ways to rationally approach them. This may also include skills being developed as you get older through jobs and hobbies.

Of course, being a late bloomer may make you feel frustrated as you observe other people and pinpoint the certain qualities that they have which you may not. As appealing as it seems, it makes you feel left behind and underdeveloped as an individual. As a late bloomer myself, I have questioned why I look 4 years younger than my actual age, causing me to feel undermined as a person. I have heard classmates believe that I was way younger than I was, which would make me feel out of place. My voice can sometimes be high and pitchy, making me believe that I sound child-like and incredibly young. For cognitive maturity, I am aware that my speaking and socializing skills are not great compared to others, as I prefer observing and quietly analyzing. I am also indecisive, causing me to question my beliefs and ultimately make me not know what career path I want to pursue in the future. 

At this moment, I don’t know how to find success in multiple areas of my life but I am currently discovering my own individuality and confidence as a person. I do not know if I am “mature.” If you are a late bloomer, I want you to realize that the three ideas of maturity that I listed can be experienced throughout your entire life, not only within a certain time period. Here are some ideas that I have used that may help you discover your own path to maturity as well:

In order to get rid of my worries and learn how to accept myself, I have set myself a few tips such as:

1. Do not constantly compare yourself to others, as this will distract you from coming up with your own solutions
   
2. Time and patience is crucial to developing your unique self
   
3. Do not undermine your successes, regardless of how miniscule the success is 
   

I would advise you to come up with a small list of tips for yourself to pace your thought process. It makes you feel in control of your goals through your own expectations. I would also advise you to think about the positive attributes when you knit and pick at your constraints. If you have any particular interests, try them out! It may be an additional skill that certainly makes you feel in touch with your life and experiences, and even make you discover more about your successes! Don’t be too caught up about the idea of “firsts” and do not feel too pressured to pursue something if you are not comfortable, as it will naturally occur in the future once you feel ready to do anything. 

As much as discovering yourself is a unique experience, don't be concerned if you are a late bloomer. Everything will happen at a particularly different time for everyone. Although you may encounter moments of insecurity and unsureness, remember that maturity is a lifelong process. I hope that these tips help you continue your journey of self-discovery!