Life and Silver Linings

By Lana

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How do you differentiate the qualities of realism and pessimism in life? I tend to have the habit of grouping these two together, which led me to downplay my successes whenever they occurred. Whenever I failed a test, I couldn’t see how I had the opportunity to review the content, bond with my teacher and peers, and ultimately establish a long-term studying plan in order for me to succeed in the upcoming exams. I knew that I was predisposed to being pessimistic because that was all I knew of. The stress and anxiety were more so instinctual, that I believed that it was my norm. Thus, by ultimately accepting pessimism as my reality, I failed to open up to the silver linings that were set in place.

A silver lining is when a bad circumstance has a positive prospect. It promotes optimism by acknowledging, rather than disregarding, a dire and incredibly tough occurrence and how it may lead to a positive result. You usually hear this term through the phrase “every cloud has a silver lining,” which equates a cloud to a gloomy turmoil that we may experience. Understandably, it seems incredibly difficult to be “more” optimistic. Everyone is conditioned to perceive and react to their challenges differently, and I and many others cannot simply turn off their pessimism switch while turning on their optimism.

Throughout my life, characterizing myself as a pessimistic individual had impacted my overall morale. While I believed that I was living a realistic lifestyle by not favoring idealism and hope, I completely disregarded my own ability to reap the benefits of my given situation. My superstitious self believed that having a positive mindset and expecting a positive situation would ultimately lead me to experience the opposite. For instance, every time that I completed an assignment and felt as if I did not do my best, I automatically described myself as a failure. If I made a speech and stuttered through my words and sentences, I would continuously overanalyze and belittle my speaking abilities. These examples, and many others, were a collection of circumstances that waned my confidence. I simply felt unconfident toward myself and my choices, which reinforced my low self-esteem. 

With this realization, I was willing to redefine my perspective to integrate optimism through silver linings. These were the steps that encouraged this new viewpoint and enhanced my enjoyment of life:

1. Apply cognitive reappraisal

Cognitive reappraisal is a mental strategy that allows a person to analyze their negative circumstances and cope with the outcome by evaluating their emotions. The negative event is a motivation factor for me to make improvements. This was evident throughout my teenage years when I would have constant breakdowns due to trying to balance my family, social, and academic life. In the context where my life seemed uncontrollable, I tried to tweak my emotions to simulate temporary happiness by viewing the greater context. Some attempts for me to look at a different perspective included:

• I know that school assignments have stressed me out recently, but I have to think about the great resources and lessons that are being provided by my education!
• Even though I soaked my feet by stepping in a puddle, at least the rain did not wet my hair and make me sick!

 2. Set long-term goals

At times, acknowledging silver linings may be exhausting when it simply feels unrealistic or too much of a difficult task. However, I chose to stick with one main task throughout the past two years that had lessened my stress tremendously - to take one day at a time and patiently deal with my conflicts gradually. This was one simple, yet incredibly impactful, goal that allowed me to bring optimism into my life. Whenever I was filled with anxiety, I had to put myself in a mentality that envisioned my life through a long-term perspective. Not overanalyzing every single wrongdoing that I did every day ultimately put less pressure on myself and my expectations. It also allowed me to develop my goal and refine it if it was needed.

3. Look back at your positive outcomes

Usually, whenever I feel like I am stuck in an overwhelming conflict, I tend to look back at the circumstances where I felt as if I succeeded by looking at silver linings. For example, I tend to think about how I was able to increase my overall grade in a class by three letters over a span of three months. While it took perseverance and patience to achieve it, this was a lesson that would encourage me to truly appreciate the optimism associated with silver linings.

As of this moment, I continue to acknowledge silver linings. While this may seem like an idealistic concept and may not work out for everyone, I encourage you to set up your own goals and act it out at your own pace. Acknowledging your minor achievements during your darkest times, even if it is as simple as drinking water or brushing your teeth, is worth a self-applause. Integrating small bits of optimism within my life has helped me look forward to battling my difficult circumstances. Everyone has a silver lining to look forward to, and I hope that it helps you as it did for myself!​