Living Alone

​By Jazz

Living alone for the first time is easily one of the most terrifying things I, and probably any other young person has done thus far in my life. I first moved out for university when I was 18; although that was the first time I’d done it, it was such a universal experience amongst everyone else in my accomodation that it took the edge off a little bit. So what if I couldn’t cook for myself? Neither could my flat mates. We were all alone in it together and after a few weeks, I felt completely fine. Same for the next two years of university; every time I felt like a dumb-ass for something, my house mates were always there to make me feel better. We were young adults. University students. No one expected us to know what we were doing. If anything, that was sort of the main point of that period of our lives.

Then, as all good things do, university came to an end. It’s only been a few months for me but as soon as I hit submit on my final paper and went to a uni party for the last time, it felt like a safety blanket had been ripped away from me. I wasn’t a student anymore. I was a whole-ass adult now, and as someone who went to university essentially solely to push back being a functional person in the real world, I’d never felt more scared in my life. Those next steps are scary and although a lot of people choose to move back in with their parents - which is a very valid and also sensible optional - I chose to stay in my university town. There was a lot of reasons; I like it here, I had a good job in a pub that would take me on full time now I was done with college, and my boyfriend and all my close friends were staying too. That meant finding somewhere to live and there are plenty of options; getting a flat with a friend or two, moving in with family nearby, or finding a room in a house share. Me, though? I decided I wanted to try living alone for the first time in my life. The process of finding a place warrants a whole other article, but these have been my main takeaways in the first two months.

1. Put aside more money than you’ll need for rent, bills and utilities. If you think you’ll need £30 for bills, put away £40. I can’t do this all the time, solely because it’s not always financially viable but when I have a little extra at the end of the month, I’ll put it into my bills or rent account. With the cost of living constantly going up, it’s hard to predict exactly what your outgoings will be, and having that little bit of extra allowance just cushions the blow a little when you try to be prepared for it. Plus, it’s always a comfort knowing you’re on top of bills and rent. 

2. Learn to cook for one. Every damn recipe on the internet seems to serve at least three people; that’s all well and good for leftovers, but I don’t want to eat the same thing three nights in a row just to avoid it all going to waste. Portion sizing is a little bit of a challenge but after a few weeks, you’ll get to know what you do and don’t need to buy. I find buying dry stuff - tinned food, pasta, anything that can sit in the cupboard long term really - is ideal. Fresher stuff like fruit and veg can be brought loose or as individuals. It’s a strange thing I didn’t think I’d ever have to think about, but it’s something you come to learn after a few weeks.

3. Keep the space clean for you. Beforehand, I would always do my washing up or keep common spaces clean out of respect for my flat mates. Now, I have no one to please but myself, so if I leave my pans soaking for four days or my shoes thrown across the floor, who’s going to be mad but me? It was nice at first, but it sort of became a curse after a few weeks because I would end up having a very messy space purely because I had no motivation to tidy it. I try to give my whole flat a bit of a deep clean at least once a week now, just so it’s nice to come home after work. 

4. Learn the difference between alone and feeling lonely. I’ve always been someone that enjoys my alone time but if I have two days off in a row and no plans, the chances of me leaving my flat are low. That means no social interaction for two straight days and I do find myself getting lonely, especially after three years of having housemates around. Knowing when you need to get out or invite people over is always good. 

5. It’s not for everyone. Like any living situation, it has its pros and cons. I’ve been really enjoying living alone for the first time ever, but that might wear off in a month or two, or it might continue. Still, if you do come to the conclusion that you don’t enjoy it, or that it’s not the best option financially or mentally, there is no shame in moving back home or choosing to have housemates again. ​