People Pleaser in Families

By Meghna

​A people pleaser, everyone knows who this kind of person is. Someone who is a shapeshifter, in a sense, morphs their emotions and personality to get others to like them better. 

But in a family role, it’s very different. This type of person wants to maintain family harmony, so no one should fight or yell. Everyone should be happy, so they believe they should change themselves to make each family member happy. 

Hello, I am the people pleaser in my family. I have been a “family pleaser” my whole life, and this has led to some problems, such as a deep-rooted fear of causing conflict, which can cause me to withhold my true thoughts and emotions. I am constantly grappling with the fear of disappointing those closest to me. 

I am here because I know there are others like me, and it is very common for families to have that one person. I am here to support them to break free from this pattern of pleasing people before it gets to a point of no return.

Communication is key. Family needs communication for someone to feel confident that their opinion and thoughts matter. To set boundaries that are healthy to everyone involved, in a way that does not create conflict but rather strengthens your familial bond. Finally, recognising that you are always meant to be first in your priority list. 

“Family Pleasing” is something that is so common that it is practically overlooked as normal in society. But I noticed myself and others creating different versions of ourselves for others. This self-help journey is one that you travel with yourself, a journey to learn about how to be selfish and think for yourself.

My final thoughts: embrace yourself because you are wonderful and your family loves you, no matter your differing opinions and beliefs.