Real-Life Rejection

By Chloë

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I told a girl I liked her. Yep, that’s right. I told her I liked her and even though she doesn’t feel the same way, I don’t regret doing it.

A few weeks ago I looked at her and it just clicked. It terrified me. I didn’t want to feel that way towards her, but as soon as the thought was in my mind, I couldn’t get it out.

What was I going to do?

This question resonated around my mind for the next week. Initially, I had intended on doing absolutely nothing, letting it pass, and moving on. But, when I began to second-guess every interaction, every word, every look… I knew I had to ask. I had to know where her head was at.

I knew she didn’t like me, not like that. The vibes just weren’t there, but I still needed confirmation, and that’s okay. 

Of course, it took more than this to persuade me to tell her. And by ‘more than this’ I mean going over the conversation 50+ times in my head, messaging my friends multiple times, taking different stances and viewpoints everytime, before I even got close to a conclusive decision on my approach.

So, how did I choose? How did I know that telling her was the right thing to do? 

If you are in a similar position to mine, I’d advise you to ask yourself the following questions:

Will things really change if they don’t feel the same?
Chances are, this person you have a crush on is someone you see daily, or is a big part of your life. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so worried to tell them in the first place. And so, if they are this big in your life, then you probably are in theirs. They probably won’t be willing to lose you over something like this and, if they are someone you can truly trust- which I’d assume they are if you have a crush on them-, then they’ll probably do their best to help you as much as they can. 
Yes, things may change, but if they are someone who cares for you, you can work together to adjust to this new situation.

Are your feelings real?
I’ll admit, at first I was dubious about whether I actually had feelings for her. She isn’t anything like my usual ‘type’ (not including the fact that she’s a she, of course), so I assumed it was just a glitch in my emotional radar. 
When trying to decide whether your feelings are real, try to analyse interactions a bit more; consider how they make you feel. Nervous? Flustered? If you are trying to present your best self to them, and are worried about doing so, chances are you do like them as more than a friend.

What will happen if you don’t tell them? 
From my experience, here are the positives and negative outcomes regarding this question:
Positives: You can’t get hurt. Things will stay the same. 
Negatives: You may feel guilty taking more from interactions than they might be. You won’t know if they feel the same. You may feel awkward or uncomfortable around them. 

And, ultimately, what led me to tell her was the final question of ‘What if…’, plus the knowledge that, whatever happens, I’d know I’d gone through worse before… I’d made it through worse before. And I could do it again.

Okay, so she doesn’t like me back, but the experience and knowledge I gained from this was far better than any sadness I went through as a result. I realised that it’s okay to be truthful, it’s okay to have emotions and express them, and it’s okay to go through a rejection. It’s healthy. It doesn’t mean everyone hates you or that no one loves you. It just means they aren’t your person. 

Remember, you regret the things you don’t do in life more than the things you do. ​