The importance of change

Change is daunting. Always.

In this article I don’t mean to belittle your experiences or dictate your emotions. You are allowed to feel and wallow in your emotions. You are allowed to not want to adopt a glass half-full mindset. This article is just for you to read so that, a few months down the line, when you are neck-deep in this new situation, you can re-evaluate your choices.

Personally, I don’t think it’s always healthy to adopt a new situation and adapt immediately. Resistance is what builds grit - it helps you determine the core of your character: what you are willing to compromise on and what you choose to fight for. It is better to really immerse yourself in emotions rather than brush them off because you are important and what you are feeling is a valid response to the situation, no matter what others might say.

I’ve been to seven different schools in three wildly different countries. Making friends is difficult: finding the courage is hard; finding the motivation is even harder. Culture takes a while to get used to, making the choice to retain some freedoms and exposing yourself to public judgement takes even longer to get used to. Having stable mental health is a challenge; achieving a state open to happiness is more challenging. I know this. Let me help you through it. I’ll detail my personal plan and you can adapt it to suit your particular case.

Your initial reaction is (or was - depending on when you chance upon this article) not random. You need to credit yourself as a rational being capable of complex thought. If this change saddens you, try and pinpoint the reason why - however trivial it might seem it means a lot to you so don’t bury it. If there is one person you can trust it is yourself, so be honest to yourself. You don’t have to share it, just acknowledge that it’s there.

1. If it is something you are leaving behind in the past try to brainstorm ideas to circumvent complete dissociation. For example, if it is the fear of losing touch with your friends, schedule specific days for video calls/emails/five hour blurts of texting. Simultaneously, I would urge you to recognise that the change will happen. So no matter what, some things might be a bit different. You might not be there during the conception of an inside joke, for example, but that doesn’t stop you from being part of the group.
   
   
2. If it is something new in the future try to brainstorm appropriate responses. If you are shifting schools, you know that you will be making new friends and will probably be called upon to introduce yourself. Make four lists: things you love, things you like, things you dislike and things you hate. It doesn’t have to be all-encompassing, it should just be enough to get you settled at the start.
   
   
3. Look for opportunities. If you are moving houses, you will have a new room and even if you aren’t allowed to paint walls or hammer in frames, command hooks and blue-tack will do just as well. Search for aesthetics on pinterest, load things into your cart for ideas and I promise you - soon the excitement will creep in.
   
   
4. Choose who you want to be. If you are moving, take this as a chance to reinvent yourself. Over time you may have developed more than you realised. Perhaps you were too afraid to share all your new interests or passions or personality for fear of seeming disingenuous. It is time to let yourself shine through. 
   
   
5. Take your core happiness with you. Grab your objects of joy, the things that define you. Draw comfort from them.
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6. If you need to have a cry and sort through your emotions then go ahead. Seriously. Throw yourself on the bed like you’re in a renaissance movie and sob. It’s okay.

Don’t feel pressured into adopting a happy countenance if that’s not what reflects your true feelings. You deserve to feel; to be human. I know it’s cliche, but as with everything else in life: this too shall pass. I’ll see you on the other side.

• Keerthi