The Loss of Beloved Pets

By Cody

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Last year I lost my eldest cats and both of my dogs, which was such a devastating loss to myself and my family. Those of you who are experiencing the same loss or about to go through the loss of a pet will understand how heart-wrenching it feels, but knowing how to grieve their loss is important! If you don’t learn to grieve your pet healthily you put yourself at risk of depression or anxiety or even may struggle to deal with your feelings in the future.

Pets most often are put to sleep or pass away from old age or age-related conditions (such as severe arthritis). When the pet is old, owners are usually prepared or at least somewhat expecting the end of the pet's life, though this can still be hard to deal with. But, from my personal experience, there’s no worse feeling than when you’re not expecting the untimely death of a pet. You can feel robbed of the years that you still expected your pet to live and this can lead to a harder grieving process.

Providing you’re having to put your pet to sleep (PTS), like many owners do, it is important to prepare yourself for the day. I recommend taking paid time off (PTO) work or having the appointment booked for a day when you’re scheduled to be off work and away from other arrangements. 

Saying your final goodbye is tough and may affect you more than you expect. On the day, your vet will take you and your pet into a private room and allow your pet to get comfortable before anything else happens. Once you’re ready (your vet should prompt this), the vet will administer medication that makes your pet drowsy, and they will pass within the next few minutes. Do note that your pet may ‘flop’ to the floor or onto the table during the process of inserting the medication, so, it’s a good idea to have them in your arms or lying down before inserting the meds. Because I always had a pet to return to at home, I was very fortunate to never have the feeling of an ‘empty house’, but I have heard from others that you will need someone to come home and spend time with you during the day of your pet’s passing - it can feel very lonely whilst you’re getting used to the fact there are no pets at home.

The worst death for me was my dearest Pippa, a 9-year-old beagle who suffered from problems with her hips and hind legs, which sadly was the reason we had her put to sleep (it would be too cruel to let her suffer after many attempts of different medication not working for her). The sad choice to have her PTS was much worse than my eldest dog Odie, an 11-year-old King Charles spaniel, who passed of old age as well as my two cats Garfield and Smokie (British short-haired cats), simply because my family and I were not expecting Pippa to pass with at least another few years expected of life for her breed. 
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Learning to grieve was a difficult process for me. Crying was the hardest thing to do after all my animals left us. I kept trying to keep it in for the sake of my other family members, but I soon realised that it was making me more upset to keep it in than it was to let out my sadness. Please allow yourself to cry, and do whatever you need to do emotionally to let out the sadness! 

It’s important not to ponder on those last moments with your pet as you don’t want to remember them in such a sad way. Instead, find a way to grieve your pet after their passing, whether you wish to create a memorial for your pet, write about your pet (like I am), reach out to others in your support group, or simply remember the happy times you had together; it is important to find which is best for you.