You Don't Have to Shine Bright Like a Diamond

By Rahma

​As we inch closer and closer towards adulthood, navigating both new and existing friendship dynamics becomes more complex. It is not anyone’s fault that this is an age where our insecurities come to light, our stress never seems to end, and our fears of the uncertain dictate everything that we do. However, one thing is certain: in the grand scheme of things, the friendships that we make along the way will remain the most significant part of our growth. And at a time when a like on Instagram is equivalent to checking up on your loved ones, the need for maintaining conversation is unfortunately long lost. 

It also doesn’t help that between every other self help book and viral tiktok therapist, there is an unabashed implication that we’re better off alone; that we’re all surrounded by toxic people, and individual healing and isolation are the only key to a healthy well adjusted person (who then deserves to be friends with only other healthy well adjusted people). I’ve fallen for it over and over - foolishly believing that friendships are these stupidly fragile glass slabs that will shatter with the least pressure. Truth is, friendships aren’t meant to be shiny and sleek, and I’ve learned that I don’t have to be bandaged up as good as new to be able to talk to my friends.

It is easy to believe we’re better off alone when we look at our life events in isolation, but the truth is we’re not. We’re better off navigating this life with the people we love and care for. We’re better off picking each other up when the forces of this world press all their weight upon us. We’re deserving of love and support even during the times that we don’t see or believe it. 

Communication, mutual understanding, and long, honest talks about your feelings - not as painful as you might think - are all part of the recipe to maintain long-term meaningful connections. Give your friends time beyond watching their Instagram stories, and be open, raw, and vulnerable. It might be easier said than done, but it’s through friendship that you experience love outside your home for the first time. It’s through friendship that you can start to look at the world and yourself through a different lens. Deep emotional connections can be scary, but take it from someone who owes it all to her friends, they’re worth it.