Everyone has a desire to fit in, to click, to belong. Whether it's with your family, your co-workers, or your close friends. The desire to be validated in a positive light is a natural feeling that anyone would crave. However, when you don’t receive that validation and are not included, you are left out. Being left out can include not being invited anywhere (parties, hangouts, etc.), not being included in conversations, having your voice ignored, even a small gut feeling in your stomach can indicate that you’re unwanted despite what is said. The struggles of being left out isn’t limited to spark damage to the relationship between you and your friends, but can go as far to destroy your mental health, the perception of yourself, lower your confidence, and naturally your self esteem.
My experience with being the left out friend dates back to my middle school years. I had two friends that were two peas in a pod. To any outsider it would feel that I was put in their group by accident, but to me, it felt I was with them for pity’s sake. They felt bad, but not enough to understand the ordeal I went through trying to fit in. I tried to join in their conversations, only to have my voice ignored. I switched my opinions so it could correlate with theirs, only to fail at keeping the conversation going. The grass became my best friend walking home, and I knew my place. Over time, this took a toll on my mental health and my opinions about myself degraded bit by bit.
In the midst of this hard time, I kept quiet. However I knew, and they knew too, that their actions would be louder than my words spoken. Regardless, you shouldn’t keep quiet, here are some strategies to help you deal with this issue:
● Communicate: let them know, tell them how you feel, try to talk it out.
● Shift your mindset -challenge the degrading thoughts fed into your head. Recite positive and self-encouraging sayings. I am worthy! I am loved! I love who I am! I will get through this, and trust me, you will.
● Get new friends! Find the people you can truly connect with, feel comfortable, and feel like you actually belong.
It may be hard, but life isn’t supposed to be easy. That’s what I did. I got new friends, and I’m glad I did! I feel heard, comfortable, and I can be myself while loving it!
Being left out - everyone experiences it at least once in their life. Not getting included, your voice unheard, and being discreetly ignored is a struggle. It does not only strain the relationship with your friends, but can threaten one's mental health as well. This is why it is important to apply some mechanisms to solve this problem. Communication is key - telling them what exactly is on your mind and making them aware of your true feelings. Boost your confidence with motivational sayings. Distance yourself from them and make new friends. Associate yourself with a group of people you can trust, are confident, and most importantly, happy!
It seemed like only yesterday was the start of summer vacation, and yet it had to end so soon. This school year is a complicated, confused, and careful one. Online school isn’t the easiest form of learning, but with the right mindset, attitude and willpower it can be the most effective learning tool for you! If you are taking online school this year, these 5 tips would be extremely resourceful to prepare you for your exciting educational endeavours.
1. Set up a schedule - It is critical to know that online learning is completely different from in-class learning. While the schedule may be a bit more flexible, it is important to set up your own so you can organize your time wisely for each of your classes.
2. Do not procrastinate - From my experience, online school will consist of assignments being packed on top of more assignments. As a result, DO NOT LEAVE IT TO THE LAST MINUTE. Start on assignments earlier so that you will become prepared when more come hurdling your way. In addition, it will allow you to put in your greatest effort and therefore, obtain a better grade.
3. Take breaks - Staring at the computer screen for two hours at a time will do more harm to your eyesight than good. Take frequent breaks by peeling your eyes away from the screen. You can go for a walk around the block, have a light snack, stay hydrated, and even perform eye exercises to avoid eyestrain.
4. Interact! - One of the disadvantages of online learning is that it limits social interaction and communication, so communicate! Participate in class activities and discussions and ask alot of questions. This will develop an exemplary first impression and boost your confidence. Interact with peers and even better, make new friends.
5. Be positive - These may be hard and confusing times, but the only way we can combat it is to look forward in a positive light. Spend time with the ones you love, do the things that you love and make personal goals that are important to you.
School is dreadful and sometimes scary. However, as we move forward in life, the only thing we can do is simply, carry on. With these tips, I’m sure you will be able to carry your way and accomplish great things this school year!