TEENAGERS WITH EXPERIENCE

When I see an item that I want but is something that was unplanned for, I can sometimes convince myself of buying it by saying "I deserve to treat myself!" While it is true, the excuse quickly turns old after a couple of those "well-deserved" expenses leave me broke.

Asking questions prior to making a purchase can feel like an exhausting task so to ease ourselves in, we can start with the purchases that we already know are non-essentials.

By distinguishing which purchases are non-essentials and which are for our entertainment, you've answered the first question already:
"Do I need or want the item?"

Be completely honest with yourself when you ask whether you need or want the item. Be wary of an inclination to reason your way into believing an item is a need. A want isn't in and of itself bad. A want doesn't have to be an automatic "NO." You earned your money fair and square and you, therefore, have the right to buy something for fun. This is where you follow up with the next question:
“Am I able to afford the item now?”

Sometimes a purchase is worth buying at a later time. That could mean a few weeks,  or a few months. Think about what you may have to spend in the next couple of weeks. If what you want is going to cut a huge chunk out of your wallet, then it will leave you stressing out about how you'll be paying other important expenses. You'll be cornering yourself without room to breathe. With seasonal items, if you wait longer, you could likely get a cheaper price later. Buying swim trunks and bathing suits, for example, are cheaper in the winter.

Waiting it out might either dissipate the urge to buy it and you might end up forgetting about it altogether, or you might find that after a week, you're more confident about buying it.
Set your intentions. 
“Why do I want to be careful with my money? What is my end goal?”

Focus on what is motivating you to save money. You might want to save because you want to go on an international trip, you want a new computer or cell phone, or you're saving for an apartment.

If you catch a sale, these questions are especially important because I know that I might sometimes be impulsive about buying something just because it was on sale but I wouldn't actually buy it if it were full price.

A while back, I noticed that there was a blouse that was on sale for $5. The blouse was nowhere near the usual style that I wear but I purchased it anyway. After two wears, I realized I didn't like it at all but only wanted it for the $5 steal. Now, I ended up with a blouse that would live an unhappy life stored away in a wardrobe until the day it finds a new home somewhere where it can be appreciated. Let this story be a cautionary tale for your bank account. 
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"Shopping therapy" is a real thing. Sometimes people shop because they feel anxious, sad, or they feel inadequate. Be honest with yourself and where you are at in your current financial circumstances. You might end up feeling less guilty and ashamed about what you purchase when you make yourself confident about what you buy. You end up developing self-discipline and becoming a mindful consumer. Each purchase that you don't buy gives you more money at the end of the day.

Best wishes, 
Heidy 

Imposter syndrome is self-doubt in your experience and skills to accomplish a task or take on a responsibility, in spite of prior accomplishments and successes. You may frequently feel insecure about yourself, you may not think that you deserve any praise for your work, you may deny responsibility over your accomplishments, believing that luck or other external factors are the causes of your success. In 1978, clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes named the phenomenon as “Imposter Syndrome” after interviewing women who were highly successful in their careers with university degrees and professional recognition yet feared their success had come about by mistake. You may have also experienced the inclination to think that others will find out about your incompetence; that, someday, you’ll be unmasked and someone will realize that you’re really a fake. Although the syndrome is not an actual psychological disorder, the condition is prevalent and, not to mention, overwhelming! According to a study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, approximately 70% of people experience Imposter Syndrome at some time in their lives. 

I have come across Imposter Syndrome plenty of times but the most recent was late September. I applied for an internship at a non-profit organization in the summertime to build work experience in the mental health field. I was extremely nervous because although I know a lack of experience in the career I’m interested in is perfectly okay, I was afraid that no work experience in general could dampen the chances of interning at the organization. I’ve only worked at one job since I was 17 years old. I had to interview for the internship, of course. With only having had two interviews before (one at a senior home and another for the place where I work now), I didn’t feel like I could sell myself well as a professional and responsible candidate. The interview was the initial worry at first --- but then I was accepted into the position. As happy as I was, I couldn’t shake off the nerves about the actual internship! I really wanted to intern at the organization but I wondered if I would really do well at administrative work. 
Imposter Syndrome is all about skepticism over your capacities in both new and old experiences. Throughout high school, I rarely participated in volunteer work other than one-time events. The skepticism on whether I could well was intense. After the interview, the next time I spoke with the executive director of the organization, we had a chat about what the other interns were up to. The tasks sounded like they would be a lot of fun to be a part of. There were times where I couldn’t keep up with the conversation because at one time she talked about a software that I had no knowledge of, and the insecurities came back. I went along with the conversation, ‘faking confidence’, just like the old saying we hear on repeat. The lack of experience is ultimately the whole point of working as a student intern. We all have to start somewhere, and more often than not, that “somewhere” is scary.

When you’re diving into something new like joining a school club, a sports team, or starting a job, as you’re becoming used to the ins-and-outs, ask for other people’s feedback for an objective opinion about your work performance. These objective opinions include compliments, too. The more that I heard, “Great job,” “Thanks!”, sweet comments like “You’re a fast learner!” or critiques, internalizing both the good and bad comments was a way to motivate myself to keep making the best out of a situation. Furthermore, being accepted into a job position or as a student at a university means you were chosen for a reason and you have every right to be a part of that job or university (as an example). You may fear that you’re not good enough because there are people who are far more talented and accomplished. You’re right. You’ll always encounter people who are better than you --- that’s a plain fact. You may not be the most talented but, the good news is, you can be the “hardest worker in the room” as Dwyane Johnson once remarked. And, on the flip side, you might even be working with people who are far from perfect. You do not have to worry about getting rid of thoughts of your insecurities because they will come up some way or another throughout our lives, even after you’ve reached adulthood --- but you can recognize that they exist and succeed, anyway. Your family and friends believe in your talent and skill. You can, in turn, believe in them for their judgement about your work and capacities. 

If you find that Imposter Syndrome interferes with your motivation at school and other commitments, visit your school counselor and let them know. They’re there to guide you through the troubles that you encounter throughout the semesters. For extra support, reach out to a professional or contact SAMHSA’s National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) for US residents. For UK residents, please visit samaritans.org for further mental health assistance. 

I believe in you! 

 -Heidy 

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