Dealing with Loneliness

By Anindita

I have always felt lonely in my life as I find it hard to make friends in school and other places. I did have friends at school, but I never had any best friends and none of the friends I did have understood me well. I am passionate about science subjects so I used to study during the stopgaps when my classmates used to have fun or just talk.

As I am passionate and curious to learn about Science, I spend most of my time reading books. As a result, my friends see me as a nerd and used to stay away from me most of the time except when asking for help. I have always wanted to talk about interesting facts about Science I learned when reading books or watching educational videos. I wanted to share my thoughts and interests with my friends but they always think that I want to talk about studying only.

I refrain from expressing my thoughts and feelings of loneliness or other issues I face to my classmates. I am afraid that they may judge me or probably never talk to me thinking I am emotional. I have been hurt by some friends previously when I shared how sad I was when my grandma died. They did not comfort me; rather, they stopped talking to me. Probably they thought it's not good to talk with me then as I was emotionally weak or a little depressed. From that day, I never tried explaining my situation to my present friends as I am afraid they would desert me too.

That is why I try to keep myself occupied with other work so that I don’t feel lonely anymore. I had some phases of loneliness and little depression during the pandemic. But I overcame this phase because of online volunteering. I kept myself busy, found new friends with the same interests, and contributed to society too. TWE gave me a community where I feel supported and a feeling of belonging. I think being a part of TWE made me a better person and increased my confidence too.

Here are some tips to deal with loneliness-

• ​You should know yourself first. Get to know your thinking, what you love or hate, opinions, and your passion. This can be done by journaling regularly, some activities regarding self-realization or by meditation. This can develop your self-esteem and self-confidence which will play a significant role in our relationship with others.

• Try new hobbies or find your passion. These can be a great distraction if you ever think you are feeling lonely.

• Try to go outside to a public place so that you meet new friends. This can be out of your comfort zone, but it will surely benefit you in a way.

• Try to know your friends or family members and figure out how you can develop a closer bond with them.

• Try to engross yourself in work or entertainment. It can be studying or any other hobbies. I dealt with loneliness in school by studying and at home by having crochet or reading books as my hobby.

• Connect with people having similar interests or hobbies. You can join a virtual community group too and it may help you feel less lonely. I have found some Science discord servers and I feel great sharing my thoughts and interests there.

And last but not least, you can join virtual volunteering! It will improve your skills, increase your self-confidence and you can learn new skills like time management, communication or team cooperation.