How to cope with semi-homophobic parents in the closet

By Mackenzie

Trust me, everyone has our own stories, our own sexualities, genders, even clothing styles. Everyone is so different, but how boring would it be if everyone was the same? It would be the worst. Something I think about most nights when I can’t sleep, I think of a world that everyone is completely the same. Think about it, if everyone was the same race, the same religion, the same height, the same gender, the same humor, the same personality and they all have same political views, almost everything wrong with the world wouldn’t exist, homophobia, racism, sexism. Hate groups wouldn’t exist because, everyone is exactly the same, they would be protesting against themselves.

I do have some problems of my own of course, I haven’t come out yet, not if that can be considered an issue, but, it could become one. I wouldn’t consider my parents homophobic, they might say somethings negative about the community now and then, and they think anyone that is not gay, trans or lesbian needs to choose a gender to be attracted to or gender to transition to. They think this way because they don’t understand what bisexual or gender fluid people feel every time they cannot be who they truly are, even if I try to explain it to them, they won’t listen.

Instead of venting to my family (because of the semi-homophobia and the closet issue), I tend to vent to my "friend family". My friend family are the people I surround myself with that will listen to you, and support you, no matter your mental state or sexuality and/or gender. Most of them are a part of the LGBT community as well, so they know how I feel, and they know me well enough to know how to help me. If you surround yourself with supportive people, who listen to you, love you, and support you, you will have your own little friend family.

Everyday I think about my friend family and wonder how I got so lucky, some days I look at other people, and I can see how miserable they are with their lunch table. I can talk to my friends about everything, they will listen, and if they don’t agree with my point of view, they will lay it down to me straight (or gay). They always let me vent, and they know when I need someone to listen to me.

I know sometimes it is very difficult for people to make friends (it’s not extraordinarily difficult for me, I’m just kinda socially awkward), if you need to find a support system, figure out if your school has a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance). If they don’t, figure out a way you could have weekly meetings, inside or outside of school.

Getting yourself a support system, even confiding into people through a screen, is crucial for a healthy mentality. When you need a support system, and your family may not be a reliable one, you can confide in your friends or maybe even writing about your feelings could help you and your thought process.