Rejection in Work

By Rae

A part of independently developing your finances and skills - that many people hate, but most of us have to go through - is rejection from a job. For some, it may put them off from applying to other jobs, or, at the very least, cause them to become hesitant. It may be a confirmation of your insecurities and perhaps trigger some anxiety. But I want to talk about how such a common experience can encourage self-development.

Some jobs require a traditional interview that you carry through like a formal conversation. A trial day is like an interview, but instead of answering questions, you perform the job you would typically do if you were given the role. The interviewer then judges whether you will be a good fit for the job by reviewing your performance once your shift is over. I recently attended my very first trial day, but it, unfortunately, did not go as planned.

Before the trial day, I was initially quite nervous that I would do something wrong. On the day, however, I started getting the hang of what I needed to do pretty soon after it was explained. And as this happened, it became enjoyable to feel like I was contributing to something. But seeing that welcoming glint in the interviewer’s eye at the beginning of the trial day, turn into a sort of sympathy by the end of the trial, stirred up a sense of dread. I ended up just below the target performance score, and so underperformed.

I definitely was disappointed, not only because it wasn’t the first of its kind, but also because of financial constraints. And so, my main way of handling such a thing is dealing with it in silence. But I soon found that using the isolation for reflection, rather than waiting for the feeling to pass, was a better way to recuperate.

As a perfectionist myself, job rejections make me feel like I’m not good enough. But I recently came across a brief video, that same day, that quite harshly brought me back down to reality. Shortly and more compassionately, the video said:

• Multiple job rejections are quite literally a part of life.

• People rarely ever get the job they want by only trying once.

This seems quite obvious, but I find it difficult when I don’t accomplish the expectations that I have set for myself - no matter how unrealistic they are. It’s something I’m currently working on, and so the advice here is for you, as much as it is also for me:

• Rejection should not be an indication of your capability, but rather how much you have learned and need to learn.

• I learned that overthinking affected my performance during the interview, and comparing myself to others during the trial day not only worsened my performance but also fuelled my overthinking. Overall my self-perception at the end of the day was reduced, even if I did enjoy my time there.

• The only way to tackle job rejection is to reflect on yourself and your performance so you can improve.

• It’s very easy to say that you did everything wrong - but perhaps those types of thoughts cropped up during the interview, which made you more anxious and thus perform worse.

That was one of the ways I quickly recovered from the setback.

Yes, it’s difficult after multiple interviews, but turning it into a learning experience builds you up for the next time. It’s very easy to become discouraged from any type of rejection, and it’s especially easy after many job refusals to associate that rejection with your self-worth. But that doesn’t mean you are incapable, perhaps it just means that you have more to learn about yourself, and about the role. You tried the best you could, with the knowledge you had.