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Age Regression - Stop the Stigma

25/4/2020

44 Comments

 
Before I get into the actual article, I’d like to clear up a few definitions and abbreviations for anyone who isn’t familiar with the age regression community.

Age regression: when somebody reverts to a child-like state of mind, often as a coping mechanism for things like PTSD, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Some age regressors like to use child-like objects such as pacifiers and bottles and in some cases adult diapers as well as dressing in “childish” clothing and engaging in activities such as colouring and playing with children’s toys. Basically age regressors are more at-peace and worry-free whilst in "little space" (A term for when one is in said mindset).
Little: a person who regresses
Caregiver: someone who looks after a little while they’re in little space.
Agere/CGLRE: abbreviations for age regression

There are two types of age regression: voluntary and involuntary. Voluntary age regression is where a person chooses to regress to relieve stress, cope with mental health issues or for fun. Involuntary age regression is where someone regresses against their will, typically to deal with high levels of stress or due to past trauma. As someone who does both, I face a lot of negativity from people who don’t understand what CGLRE actually is, and a lot of the time this can prevent me from regressing for a while which can be extremely mentally damaging as my little space is my only healthy coping mechanism. Age regressors can be extremely easily upset as when they are in their headspace their mind tends to go back to a childlike state, so with that in mind here are some things you should never say to someone who regresses. 

  • “Eww! That’s gross, this is sexualising children!” No. This isn’t the case. CGLRE is commonly mistaken for CGL (caregiver little, where two consenting adults role play as a caregiver and a child for sexual or kink purposes) which is a totally different thing despite the similar abbreviations. This comment in particular really upsets me as I use my little space as a way to help me deal with sexual trauma. 
  • “Stop acting childish, you need to grow up!” There is a major issue with this statement seeing as many age regressors can’t help it as their regression is involuntary and dealing with adult life is too stressful at the time where they are regressed. For me, someone saying that can prevent me from regressing as I feel like I’m a burden to my mama (what I call my caregiver) and anyone who sees me in my headspace. 
  • “You call your partner (insert title here)? That’s weird!” I can’t really explain this one that well but for me this makes me feel really alienated and judged, as well as making me mad at the person for insulting a decision that my girlfriend made to become my caregiver. 
  • (To a person you’ve just met) “I could be your caregiver.” This one is less upsetting and more just plain creepy and having a stranger ask to be your caregiver can be quite distressing for most littles seeing as a caregiver needs to know intricate details about you, as a caregiver you need to know the individual quite well and it’s not as easy as it may seem. You need to know how to look after the person and what they need in a caregiver and be prepared to be there for them whenever they need you. I personally haven’t dealt with this but I know people who have and it made them extremely uncomfortable.

There is a lot of negative stigma attached to age regression and it can be hard at times to ignore the negative comments, but my advice for anyone who regresses would be to remember that age regression is a perfectly normal and healthy coping mechanism and anyone who can’t understand that isn't worth your time. Your little space is special and it’s a part of you that no one can take away from you, there are always people there that will understand and accept you for who you are. 

If you ever need to talk to anyone about age regression or anything else you can contact me on instagram @mummysbrattybunnyboo or you can talk to one of us at TWE via our social media. 

Stay safe,
-Alex ❤️

​
44 Comments
Haeliegh
15/6/2020 01:52:16

Hello! I'm also a regressor, just wanted to thank you for being so brave and helping to erase the stigma. Without my regression, I wouldn't be here today. I wish it was a more normalized concept, thank you for what you do!

Reply
Ace
25/6/2020 06:18:45

Hey, I would just like to say thank you bringing awareness:)

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Dar
14/7/2020 03:22:49

Umm I kinda am new to regression and had a few questions

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val
20/7/2020 03:32:20

Hi! I’m val, a seasoned regressor. I’m not sure if anyone’s answered your questions yet, but I’m here if you still have them!

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gray
3/2/2021 09:37:13

idk if this will make sence but i have parents who dont understand this stuff and think its dumb and i cant move out on my own for another 2 years do you have any recomendations on how i can still be my little self but not be to obvius if that makes sence

amyyy
4/8/2020 04:35:48

i got small and i was looking for something to help cuz nobody knows i get small and i read a little of what you wrote. it is good to be nice to people who get small. im glad you can talk to people online. thank you for writing to everybody. i dont wanna be alone and you make me happy. is it bad that i dont know how old i am when im small. i just feel little and i put on my jammies and cuddle my Bobo. i just know im little. i dont decide when i get small or how little i get. im sorry. thank you

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S
8/8/2020 17:27:24

So, I am into ddlg (daddy Dom little girl (a form of cgl) and no one really sexualizes children, we're kind of like age regressors, but instead of coping, we go for the romantic aspect, (aka daddy taking care of me, playing, etc) it's not all the time it's mostly, after a long work day, I wanna sit on his lap and cuddle, or color, and it also helps the little stay organized with the chore-reward/punishment system, but most ddlg couples still have the regular boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic, not all dates are little. As for the sex, it's regular bondage, (BDSM) and stuff, some just like to call their partner daddy/mommy during it.
It's okay to be cgl, just as it's okay to be chore, us littles have to stick together to stop the stigma, and if anyone else is a closeted little (eg. Lives with parents, doesn't have a cg, it's afraid to show their little side) you are just as little and perfect as everyone else :)

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S
8/8/2020 17:29:44

I meant cglre when I said i"okay to be chore", my auto-correct changed it lol

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kkami
7/9/2020 10:43:57

No we shouldnt stick together!!! ddlg and its variants are a kink and age regression is a psychological coping mechanism, lumping them together will just create more stigma for both!!

J
23/1/2021 03:38:19

Hey, don't listen to kkami, ddlg is a perfectly valid form of clg, you are entirely right that is not really a form of kink for most because it's just a relationship dynamic, it's not being sexually attracted to your age regressing partner. It's perfectly healthy and valid, have fun regressing!

mika
1/4/2021 14:05:35

No J, that's not true, ddlg is and always will be kink because it is a power exchange relationship.
It doesnt't always have to be sexual but because there is a power exchange where an adult is giving up their power to another adult.
This is always a kink thing.
lumping a kink community and a psychological coping mechanism/therapy method together causes harm to both communities.
No-one is saying that ddlg is invalid, we're just saying that it shouldn't be lumped in with agere.
(btw before you say that agere is also a power dynamic, no, no its not because the age regressor is mentally a child and therefor has no power to give to their caregiver, whereas in cgl/ddlg the 'little' is still mentally an adult just acting like a child.)

here is a link that might help you :)
https://whatisagere.carrd.co/

jordan
28/9/2020 18:41:04

omigod, im a closeted little and though i do have mommys who luv me very much, its not like were in a threesome, its just that they are my caregivers, my first mommy(momma) had asked me if it was okay for her girlfriend to also help care for me and i said yes. so now me has two mommys who will take care of me, am i spoiled? a little bit but is okies

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River
2/3/2021 14:49:10

so you don't have to be dating someone for them to be your caregiver sorry if this is a stupid question i'm kinda knew to being a little my friend and school counselor recommended it to me as a better way to cope with everything

succulent savage link
14/8/2020 04:23:50

I'm 48 years old and have been regressing my entire life... both intentionally and not. Years of therapy and work have not taken away the comfort and joys of being little... nor the involuntary regression, though it's much less frequent now. I'd like you to think to the future and not stigmatize those of us who have kept that part of ourselves throughout life. I am married and have an adult relationship with my husband... but we also engage in a DD/lg relationship which brings us both joy. Not all of us choose DD/lg as a lifestyle... it's a natural progression and brings safety and love in ways we need. Take care and I'm glad you're talking about age regression. It's important for everyone to realize that it's not just an act or play for some of us... no matter how old or young we are.

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Alex
10/9/2020 02:49:19

I'm an age regressor as well and because of all the stigma surrounding it, I'm absolutely terrified of telling anyone about it. I want to tell my boyfriend about it so that he could maybe become my caregiver, but I'm too scared. Thank you for this article <3

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Jamie
15/9/2020 20:32:30

Hi! This article was really helpful, I'm an age regressor and I'm still really scared to tell my family (because I'm a minor) but this article is something i think i'm gonna send to my parents to inform them. Thank you!

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Alex
15/9/2020 20:43:32

Omg good luck!!! Let us know how it goes if you do decide to talk to them about it :)

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Hayden
16/9/2020 08:06:10

Hey... Im starting out on Age Regressing. Have you got any tips to maximise the enjoyment (Im 15)

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Nia
23/9/2020 16:03:59

Thank you for advocating for us minors who regress as a coping mechanism!🥺✨💜

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Jay
25/10/2020 08:24:52

Hello to whoever may be reading this! I recently discovered what age regression is through a quiz on one of my social medias, and I think I might be a little. I grew up in a neighborhood with no other children, no siblings, and no family members my age. I also dealt with bullying in school and depression and other mental health issues, especially in elementary school. Now as a high schooler, I've started to notice little signs. I can be overly sensitive and overdramatic. I sometimes chew on things. I've always loved cartoons and drawing and coloring. I like junk food, and I need to sleep with a certain stuffed animal every night. I often times feel so stressed, and wish that I could just be a carefree infant or child. I guess I'm new to this community, so I have just a few questions.
- How can I free my little self as a single teenager in quarantine?
- Is it normal to have multiple regression ages? (Ex. On Wednesday my regression age might be 1 and on Friday it might 4.)
- Are there any good sites for teens who are age regresses/ Littles?

Thank you for reading this far! If you're able to give me advice or input, that would mean the world to me! ❤

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Dino
29/10/2020 04:54:58

I'm a teen regressor too and I learned and accepted it not to long ago. anyways this is my input and answers to your questions.

1. Let yourself be little and do little things without feeling ashamed!
2. Yes!!! That is normal! My age range is 2-4
3.im not to sure, I know there are but idk.
I know there is some stuffs on whattpad and you can find some accounts on instagram.
Hope this helps <3

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KyKy
2/3/2021 15:18:23

So im using google while doing agere(i come in and out of it a lot) and i was wondering, My parents dont know i do agere and i love to chew on things(im chewing in a sharpie cap while typing lol) what should i do?

Ian
18/1/2021 14:41:39

I'm a junior in high school. For the first question, I tend to regress when I'm alone in my house. My parents are at work and my sister is at school. Second question I also have different ages. I do it as more of a "different levels of stress" kind of thing. Where if I feel a little stressed I won't regress as far as if I was really stressed. Third question, I have searched for a few years and can't find much. It also depends on what you are trying to find.

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Jas
28/10/2020 19:52:10

Hi there! This article is really good! You’re so brave to talk about age regression!

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Lucifer
30/10/2020 01:22:54

Hey ive been researching this to try and figure out how I've felt the past few years and I think I've finally found what was up thank you 🥺🥺🥺

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Crystal Reynolds
4/11/2020 22:13:51

I'm 19 now and at first i did not know that i regressed at all, until my best guy friend told me that I'm a little . Now they helped me when we went to school together, but i am doing online classes now , so I slip more then ever and when i do my parents yell at me an hit me for it saying its dumb and stupid ( along with other names ) . It's been 4 months that i have been in little space and my best guy friend moved over sea's to go for his passion for music in South Korea which I support but I feel lonely now cause hes to busy with music that i don't want to bother him . Should I have accepted his offer for me to live with him in Korea and put his career in danger or did i make the right chose?

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Kara
5/12/2020 02:39:23

I am not an age regressor, but I do know living with parents that hit and call you names is in no way healthy. If you really trust this person, and know information about where he lives, laws, and anything that could be a danger, you should probably reconsider accepting that offer. If you don't quite feel comfortable living with him, please contact the police in your area or move out. You matter, and you do not deserve to live in a household that mistreats you. Nothing is wrong with you, not age regressing or any other problems you have. The way your parents treat you is NOT your fault. Stay safe, you will find people that love and support you no matter what.❤️

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K
22/11/2020 12:35:26

Is it normal to regress around people you feel safe around? I think I've been regressing around certain friends that I feel the safest around. I won't be under and stress, it just kind of happens.

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Sam
22/12/2020 13:56:57

Honestly I've been wondering this, because I think that's happening to me. It happens when I feel really safe and happy around my boyfriend. We just call it babie haha, and he's okay being there to take care of me. I get really emotional really quick when I'm in babie, and my voice gets a lot higher. It only happens around him tho.

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Ian
18/1/2021 14:47:33

This is COMPLETELY normal. Think about it. When we regress, we are mentally reverting to small children that can't take care of themselves. Of course it's natural that we would only regress around people we know care about us. People that we trust.

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Lex
2/12/2020 19:20:50

so im 13 and ive been regressing since i was 7 so ive been doing it for almost 7 years and i just told my mom , i do it involuntarily but i still like it, the thing is i dont have any pacis or bottles , so it makes me a little uncomfortable and i just wanting to thank you for this because it made me feel better about maybe being judged , and i know this is all over the place but yeah.

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Kokichi Oma
4/2/2021 16:04:55

Hey there! I'm assuming that you're older now, but I, too, am a minor and I age regress. I haven't told my mom about my coping mechanism, but I was wondering if you have any tips for me? I don't have any bottles or Pacifiers, but do you have any recommendations for anything that may help calm me down? I apologize if this didn't make any sense what so ever. I've been regressing for about two years now. I just recently found out what my age regression was / is.

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Nico
24/12/2020 07:10:07

hi, I'm only fifteen and started realizing a lot of new things about myself that I refused to pay attention to before. I noticed I was acting more immature than usual while playing games with my brother. today was very stressful and some bad memories came up. I was kind of acting like I was in fourth grade again? is that age regression? thinking about it now, it seems like it happens quite often.

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Kokichi Oma
4/2/2021 16:13:37

Hello there! I just wanted to answer your question!
I'd say that counts as age regression! If your 15 and your mindset is starting to revert to the mindset of your 4th grade self, then yeah that counts as age regression. This happens to me sometimes too, where I regress to my mindset unwillingly.

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Bea
27/12/2020 07:52:59

I've been age regressing involuntarily for about two years now and when I told my now bf about it (we've been together for about 8 months) he said its annoying and I need to grow up. I really like him but it hurt, a lot.

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Ian
18/1/2021 14:57:11

Thankfully, my gf understands why I do it. She doesn't understand the concept too much, and she'd prefer if I found a "safe way" to deal with stress since she can't protect me when I'm regressed. At first I think I would try to be persistent with him that it's not under your control and that it's healthy and a coping mechanism. If he still doesn't like it, because it's involuntary, try talking to a therapist about different mechanisms or learning to control it, note this is all because you "really like him". If nothing proves to be better than regressing and you can't control it, as hard as it may be, you might have to dump him. It's not healthy to bottle up emotions, and since it's involuntary you can't control when it happens. I know it can be scary but that might be what you have to do. I hope you don't have to though. I wish you good luck.

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Mom
4/2/2021 10:26:49

My son is 16 and Has always regressed when feeling vulnerable. It started around age 7 and happens daily at home. He has suffered with depression, ADHD and anxiety. He doesn't handle stress well at all... he gets very angry and has trouble regulating and then regresses. So.etimes he chooses to do it when I hear hi. Talking to his girlfriend... other times I can see it is a coping mechanism. He thinks he has DID ... do any of you feel like it's a dissociative personality? I don't say anything to him about it as he seems happier when he is like this. What can I do to support him and let him know he is ok?

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Axol Montalvo
5/2/2021 10:29:35

I’m 13..and when I’m around my mom or grandparents, I act like a toddler..I speak like one, act like one. Sometimes I don’t do it around my mom, and sometimes I do, it really depends on the moment, but I do it on a daily basis. The minute my grandparents are around, I do the same thing, except with them I do it everytime. I act like a child. It’s switches on, and I’m aware I’m doing it..but at the same time I’m not? Like it just happens, like a switch turns on. I also sometimes do it when something “innocent”(?) or I feel happy with another person or thing, and nostalgic things. I have been doing this for as long as I remember, and I only heard about this today. I don’t recall having any trauma (that I'm actively aware of at least), but I have been diagnosed with depression. My mom has asked me before (a good while ago, possibly a couple of years ago) “why do you act like that sometimes?”(referring to me in my child mode). Am I really an age regressor..? Ive never talked to a therapist about it, because its embarrasing for me lol..

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KyKy
2/3/2021 15:23:08

My switches on and off too.

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Lareina
19/2/2021 05:03:40

Hi, I’m new to this term, I’m 14 but I had to “grow up” a lot faster as a minor and Idk that this is what it was called, and when I was looking into it I saw many things saying it was for 18+ and when I’d share this with someone who seemed to know about it they would tell me that it wasn’t possible bc I’m a “child already”, and I do this involuntarily and voluntarily bc I get overwhelmed by things that I can’t control, so thank you for making me feel like I’m not doing something wrong!!! 🥺❤️

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KyKy(Kyle)
2/3/2021 15:21:15

My parents have no idea about my age regression I go to 1-5 and I love to chew on things(bottles,pacis and right now a sharpie cap) but i don't want my parents to know\see me with my agere stuff, any tips or some help?(My stuff is usually in my red bag i carry around)

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Francine
28/3/2021 16:04:01

I have a question. I want to try age regression to help me with stress. I grew up in a happy environment and I am currently in a happy environment. I have no mental illness .
Here are my questions:

Can I learn how to be an age regressor or develop myself in to one?( my mind doesn’t regress)

If ever I can learn to regress will it still be valid. Will it be harmful to the community if I force my self to do it. Will I cause the community to be upset if I force myself to age regress?

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Quinn
29/3/2021 13:15:09

Hi!! I know this comment is a bit late hah- but I was wondering if what I experience is age regression or just being weird. After being upset or really stressed I play with my toys from when I was younger; Ex: Blocks, stuffed animals. Because I also have ADD I like to mess around with textured stuff and i like to bite stuff. I kinda ignore the stuff I'd like doing normally. Also I don't think I involuntarily age regress.

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Ori Finw
1/4/2021 22:33:28

I think I might age regress, but i'm not sure. Could someone with experience make a checklist or something else that shows common traits of age regressors? Thanks!

Reply



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