Happy Birthday to Me, I Guess...

Every year the same days roll around, and every year there’s that one day that should be more important than all the rest. No, I don’t mean Christmas, or Halloween, or even Easter; the ‘special day’ I’m talking about is your birthday. To almost every single person around you, your birthday is just like the rest. It is one of the many seemingly endless endurances in the stream of hours chipping away at that rock called life. 

Your birthday should be special and celebrated with those you love. But what do you do when your expectations are let down? How can you believe in the beauty of a birthday, when all you’ve ever known is heartache, tears and a longing for something… more… that you’ve never found?

It sounds ridiculous that I’m even talking about this but I know there must be others like me: people who dread the disappointment of a birthday that never lives up to your dreams; people who can’t remember the last time no tears were shed from their eyes as they waited for something, anything, to happen, when they knew deep inside that nothing would. Because a birthday, really, is just like every other day. 

Or is it? I’m turning 16 this month and I hand to heart have no clue how I feel about it, or even if there’s anything to feel in the first place. It seems like turning 16 has such a big taboo around it, but I just don’t know where I fit into this. All my friends have already turned 16 (quite a while ago), and their lives don’t seem at all different, so why would my ‘sweet’ 16th be at all special? All the magic has gone; I’ve felt sixteen for, well, a long time, so my birthday feels less like a celebration, and more like a formality. It’s a way for me to show a new found ‘maturity’ which I honestly feel I had long before the fated date.

Despite this, I’m still adamant to enjoy this birthday. How? By relying solely on myself. I don’t expect a spectacular performance from my family because, quite simply, they don’t have the time. All I ask is to remain happy for the WHOLE day. I know, this might not sound like much but being a teenager is rough, and we tend to get sad at least once a day. Well, not me (at least, not on my birthday), I remained happy last year and you can bet your bottom dollar (‘Lipstick on Your Collar’ reference, you’re welcome) I’m going to succeed once again.

I know the questions going through your head right now. ‘Oh my goodness, Chloë, staying happy for an entire day! Is that even possible?’ Well, I hope so, and here’s what I’m going to do to ensure it does:

1. I’m going to have some alone time! Just because it’s my birthday, that doesn’t mean I need to be constantly around my family and play the ‘well, actually, I can/will because it’s my birthday’ card. No one wants that. I know what makes me happy, and going for a walk on my own (with my dog, of course), sitting in the grass, and writing some poetry... Now that will make me one happy bunny.
   
2. I’m going to do EXACTLY what I want, when I want. If I want another slice of cake after I’ve already had four hefty servings, someone better give me the knife. If I want to go outside and play Killer (a netball game, don’t stress) with my family, they are getting their butts out there with me. If I want to read my book alone in my room, give me some chocolate and away I’ll go. Sure, it’s just an average day, but it’s MY average day and I’m going to enjoy it.
   
3. I’m going to play some piano, and forget about all the stuff going on in my life. I stress too much, work too hard, and worry too frequently. No more! On my birthday, poof, it will all (hopefully) skedaddle off somewhere. These 24 hours are my chill-time.
   
4. I will have absolutely 0 expectations. My brother has recently been asked to play cricket for Devon (proud sister alert, he’s a legend) and one of his games is on my birthday. Does this upset me? Not in the slightest! It happened last year as well and I was totally fine because I had no expectations in the first place. No expectations = no disappointment when it comes to birthdays (although, I would never, EVER use this as a justification for anything else, just saying).
   

So, some people love birthdays, they have massive parties, get all dressed up, and love the attention. I don’t blame them! Others really don’t like the attention, or the awkwardness of sitting there as people sing (usually badly, but the effort is there), or having to call up grandparents and thank them for a gift you will never use. Just, please remember, YOU DO YOU. It’s your day when it comes down to it, so do whatever floats your boat.

I hope this brought a smile to your face :) Have a splendid day xx

• Chloë