Growing Up with Divorced Parents

Growing up with divorced parents is hard. There is a lot of change and it can be scary and difficult. You might be asking questions like “Why did this happen?” The answer to that question is never because of you.

​You never should blame your parents’ divorce on yourself. Most of the time it is because they have differences that they can’t get a fix or have a problem that they can't resolve. It is never the child's fault, sometimes it is money problems.  

If you ever wonder how many kids are out there like you that have divorced parents, here is your answer. “25% of people over the age of 18 have gone through a parent's divorce. First marriages last an average of 8 years. One out of every ten children will go through multiple divorces with their parents.” (https://freebackgroundchecks.com/learn/shocking-statistics-children-and-divorce/#:~:text=United%20States%20Divorce%20Statistics&text=25%25%20of%20people%20over%20the,no%20father%20in%20their%20lives.)

When I was younger my parents got divorced and I blamed myself for the first 4 years. I thought it was my fault. I thought it was because they had told me that I must have been the reason for all the fighting. It was hard at first. I was at my mom's house one week and I wouldn't see my dad until that next week. Then I would only see my dad a few hours a week and only sometimes would I be able to spend the weekend with him. With divorce can come court hearings and that can be difficult to sit through. Then last year court was the last custody battle and this year was the last one forever. I realized it wasn't my fault when I finally talked to my parents and they explained to me why they had gotten divorced. It was because they didn't love each other like they used to, so they did what was best for me and my sister. It wasn't my fault and I understand that now.

Always ask questions instead of blaming yourself. That won't get you anywhere, it will just make you feel miserable. Never blame yourself as the reason why they got divorced in the main place. It is not something that you can control. Even if it seems like the end of the world but it’s not it will make people happier. Here are 3 important things to remember when processing your parents divorce.

• Talking to someone about what you are feeling during this time so you feel less alone.
•  Make sure you ask your parents questions if you ever feel like it is your fault.
•  Last but not least realize that you are not alone on this path to find normality with this new situation.

In all this is not your fault this happens to most kids, this can and will make you stronger it will teach you new skills, and it may be hard now but it does get better.

This is Jay signing off until next time, I hope it helps.

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