When did you notice change in your body? When was the first time you were told that you were suffering with something?
I was told I had OCD at a pretty young age. I don't know how I got it or where it came from, but it hit me like a truck.
I've had it since I was 11. Roughly - I don't remember when it began. It was just little things, like having my pillows a certain way on my bed and having my books organised alphabetically. But as I got older, and more things, more issues, came into my life, it began to get worse.
It progressed into it's a worse state when I was about 14. I couldn't leave the house without re-checking everything - That my bed was made, my hair heat tools were off, my pets cages were closed. And I don't mean just double checking. I could check seven or eight times and still spend the day panicking, thinking that my straighteners would burn down the house or that my bed would be messy when I got home.
And because I was pretty young when I got it, it wasn't long before having OCD was part of my identity. I used to be 'Jazz, the girl who likes writing.' or 'Jazz, the girl who loves comics.' But now, I was 'Jazz, the girl with OCD.'
I hated it. I hated how it controlled me. I still do, looking back. I hate how I thought my disorder was stronger than me.
And since I've began recovering (with a therapist but also my own self support), I can say this now.
Your disorder does not define you. You are stronger than whatever you're dealing with - Whether it's OCD, anxiety, depression, bipolar. You are the one in charge of your mind. Your disorder is only part of it, and you can change it.
It might seem hard, and honestly, it is. But you are stronger than it.
You will always be in control of your mind. You always have been - But when did your disorder come? I'd been in control for 11 years. I thought I'd lost control, but I hadn't. You are you.
I refuse to be Jazz, the girl with OCD.
I am Jazz, the girl who loves writing and comics.
You are stronger than your disorder, and you can overcome it.
Thank you so much for reading! :D
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