Dealing with a friend's death

This is a subject we all don’t want to experience but sometime in our lives we’ll have to. It can be a tough situation to go through alone and if that person was very close to you. Lucky, for me I had my friends to support me through this experience.

Several years ago in 2015, my friend Chelsey Sharp passed away from a blood clot. At the time I didn’t know what a blood clot was. So I done some research. I had more of an understanding of what one was and how difficult it must of been for Chelsey and her family. My research consisted of visiting these sites; https://www.healthline.com/health/blood-clot-in-arm
https://www.belmarrahealth.com/blood-clot-arm-symptoms-causes-home-treatment/
https://www.stoptheclot.org/learn_more/blood_clot_symptoms__dvt.htm

So the information I came across explained that a blood clot forms normally from an open cut or womb. When you get this cut or womb the blood normally forms a clot that stops the bleeding. But for this to form a blood clot that is damaging your veins or arteries form a semi-solid lump. And if this continues deep into your body this is known as deep vein thrombosis (DVT). This is what my friend. Chelsey had.
There are many other kinds of blood clots and you can find that information on the links provided above.

Dealing with the news that Chelsey’s mom told me didn’t sink in at first. It felt like my heart had just been torn out of my own body. It was damaging and it was just hard to take in I guess. But after this blown over, I finally came to terms that my friend had died. Dealing with this over the next couple of weeks was tough. I hardly ate or drank. Didn’t leave the house or see any of my friends. I just felt like I had to punish myself because I was blaming myself for her death, when it wasn’t my fault. But at the time, that’s how I felt. I felt like I could of helped her more, been there more for her. As she lived in Scotland and I live in Wales, it was pretty hard to see her at times. Before she died, I got a job up near where she lived as soon as I was told she became sick and had to stay in hospital. The last time I visited her, I didn’t know that was the last time I would see her. I still think about her smile, how she stayed so strong during this hard situation she was in. Chelsey was the one I looked up to most. Even though she was a year older than me. The adventures we had, the places we explored. It was the memories that made me feel close to her.

After these couple of weeks past, my friends helped me get back on track. They explained to me that this wasn’t my fault, her death was a natural cause. There was nothing I could do but support and love her. They said that Chesley would of been so grateful for me to travel up to Scotland to just see her in hospital as not many people would of done that for a friend.
They also said that Chelsey would of wanted you to be happy and healthy. Not to be punishing myself for what happened. Chelsey was so outgoing and down to earth, she would never give up .So, that’s what I did, I kept her memory alive. I got up each morning, thinking right today is a new day and I got to make the most of it because that’s what Chels would of wanted.

When the funeral took place I attended with her mom to support her. Seeing her coffin go down into the ground was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. But I knew deep down, Chels was at peace and not in pain anymore. Seeing her mom do the speech was so inspiring because she stayed so so strong. It was a beautiful send off that Chels deserved.

So now, writing this article. It is hard to just go back to what happened, but Chels would of wanted me to tell her story and to keep her memory wide open and known. I’m so thankful I got to know her because she became a huge part of my life.
What I didn’t know would happen is I would lose a friend but then get introduced to a new friend that became such an important part of my life. So I believe Chels done this to help me, so we could support each other with our loss.
So, for you reading this, I would say make the most of what you got in life. You never know what’s around the corner. Appreciate everyone who walks into your life. One day they might not be there. -Mel

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