Virginity = sucks
Virginity = unrealistic
Virginity = doesn’t exist
Virginity is generally more harmful than helpful to people.
It is seen as a rite of passage but it generally just makes people feel awful. But either way, it’s not up to me, it’s up to you.
Virginity is something we define. It’s not just penetrative sex.
For one thing, the former idea is largely harmful to people in queer relationships or of the queer community. Especially those that don’t have penises and/or haven’t engaged with people who do.
Virginity can thus be seen as something more personal. Was it:
It’s really up to you. It’s what feels right to you.
It’s seen as a rite of passage and I can understand that, but sex isn’t everything and it’s definitely not what makes you an adult. There are people that:
It’s okay to say you’ve never lost it despite the fifty times you’ve had a sexual moment. It’s okay if that time you lost it was a time when you were alone and by yourself. It’s okay if you never have it. Your experience is still valid and important.
You’re still valid and important.
So no matter however many sexual encounters you have or haven’t had doesn’t define your worth as a person. So feel free to never put any consideration to the thought of virginity--or defining that for yourself. If it’s important to you though, then that’s also okay. Make sure you mark it as something that’s meaningful for you. It can be negative, positive, neutral, or however the experience was. Whatever it is you choose will be the best decision because it was made by you.
Keep Your Head Up, the Sun Still Rises,
Mercury (?) Neon
In the queer community, coming out can be seen as a huge rite of passage: it seems almost vital to the queer experience. It can seem to be the main bonding moment of queer life, whether disastrous in every way possible- or miraculous beyond belief.
Coming out is described as being the first moment you tell someone (and maybe others) that you are queer, whether it be your gender identity, sexual orientation, and/or romantic orientation that makes you so. But is coming out really such a one time thing? You might say yes, as it’s one big event that frees you and, if so, you probably think of it as being to your family or friends.
All this said, in my experience, coming out is a repetitive process. I came out when I:
Coming out isn’t just one shot. It’s revealing yourself to whoever you trust with such special and important information about you. It’s an act of trust. It can very well affect your safety. Some people have the privilege to come out to their friends, family, and be out in their own environment while others can’t afford to. But there’s another key that’s vitally important.
Coming out to ourselves.
Just as much as coming out can be important when it comes to telling others your identities, so is coming out to yourself, acknowledging your own experiences and how you live your life. Some people never do that for themselves, and some of us are constantly coming out every day as we learn about ourselves.
Coming out is such a hard topic to talk about because it can be incredibly sensitive and even involve horror stories. But that’s not what it’s just about. It’s little things like introducing yourself with your chosen name, explaining your pronouns,binary or not, and discovering yourself for yourself.
So give yourself a little credit. :)
Keep your head up, the sun still rises
Mercury (Merc) Neon
*Neopronouns are pronouns that do not follow she/her/hers, he/him/his, or they/them/theirs. Examples are zhe/zhir/zhirs, neb/nebs/nebself, and (my pronouns) hu/hume/humes.