altering the aesthetic

Being yourself can be difficult, especially when you’re not entirely happy with who you are. It’s perfectly normal to want to have a style change every so often, but how can you change parts of yourself without it being unhealthy?

I recently went through a style change, with moving countries and adapting to the culture there, I didn’t feel like my style really ‘fit’ me anymore, especially as I discovered my sexuality and other things. This didn’t come to me all at once, of course, but rather in dribs and drabs. But throughout the course of about a year, I started to buy clothing. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t something I’d usually wear, if it was pretty or I liked it, I got it. Now, a year later, I look like a very different person!

So, how do I change my style without it being unhealthy? 

1) Make sure you’re not changing for other people, and that it’s something you’ve chosen to do yourself. If it’s not a personal decision, then altering yourself can be harmful to you and your mental health; it can be incredibly draining to pretend to be something you’re not, especially if it’s because you’re in a toxic relationship. 

2) Don’t change yourself all in one go. If you’re currently unhappy with yourself and how you dress and act, don’t try to alter it all straight at once, it’s incredibly difficult to do, it’s not cost effective, and you could end up not liking the change you’ve made to yourself, which makes all the time and money you put in worthless. It’s better to buy a few items over a month or so, ‘try them out’, and see if you like them. If you do, then buy a few more things. And if you don’t, then at least you haven’t wasted a ridiculous amount of money. 

3) Make sure you’re happy with yourself as a person before you try to alter you style dramatically. This point is a broader, as of you are suffering with body dysphoria then it’s perfectly acceptable for you to want to change style to help it. The point means rather that you should make sure you’re changing your style not to hide who you really are, but rather to show the person you really want to be. 

And remember, your friends should support you through all this! You’re doing something to help positively impact your life, and if they don’t accept that, then they aren’t good friends.

​Abigail