All it takes is one night to ruin anything!
It’s 2017 and I’m 15 it’s the day after Halloween and I'm scared, I’m crying. Not really sure where I am but I'm holding the hand of my best friend and I'm in a room where I never planned on going.And the walls are not so grey but green. And the light is so bright it could burn a hole through the seam of my jeans.my phone is buzzing in my pocket, my mum is asking if I remembered my keys. But I can’t tell my mum where I’ve gone.I can't tell anyone at all…
It’s two weeks later and I’m still dying inside, and what hurts more is that nobody knows what exactly is wrong.But will they ever know? Putting on a fake smile so no one around you suspects a thing. But still having that fear lingering in your head knowing that it could be happening to another innocent person, and just like yourself not being able to do anything to stop it.
Another week goes by and not only have all your grade dropped in school but you no longer speak to any of your friends because you cut them off just in case they found out. but still, have the same fear because of that one night that was meant to be the best night of your life that turned out to be the worst.
During that third week that's passed, a boy who was there at the time of the incident and tells you that they know everything. And that he's going to tell your family. But you and him both know that it's the only news that would break your family.
Not only does the biggest blabbermouth now know about that night but in the same week, you have exams coming up. Not knowing what to do with life anymore. Has this moment ruined me for the rest of my life, has a moment like this ruined someone else's life, And were they just as innocent as me.
It's been a month, No matter where you go he's there, not knowing if it's actually him or if it's just another hallucination.But it is actually him and he's living the life of luxury because nothing bad has happened to him but your whole life has been torn apart. He approaches you and attempts to speak but all you can think of is what happened that night so you just run. And when you get home you can’t even say anything about it because that would mean you would have to talk about what happened on the night of Halloween.
Not knowing what to do, do you finally tell or do you try and forget. So you try and forget, But you should never have thought about that option. It’s been two months and you’ve met someone you really like and you end up speaking then getting together but too soon. You realise that you were too close but as best friends not as lovers. You're happy for her because she has a new boyfriend and she's happy for you because you’ve moved on but then to discover two months later that's she’s been hiding something from you something you never thought could have happened to someone that close to you. What had happened to you had now happened to her.
So this is where it goes back to, It’s 2018 and we’re scared in the same not so grey but green room, The light is still so bright that it could burn a hole in the seam of your jeans. But this time your both crying…
It's now 2019 and you still haven't spoken about it but have realised you have no other option because this time it's GCSE and not just mocks. You finally tell the only person you can trust with such a secret, and no surprise they want to kill the person who has torn your life apart, but you stop them because it could have made the situation a lot worse.
But now you don’t care so much about yourself you care about the fact that he could do it to anyone else.
No matter what happens to you no matter how big or small you will always have someone to get through it with and I promise you, you will always get through it.
Death is a horrible thing; it can rip those you love away, leave you thinking that you have to handle it by yourself but you don’t have to. There are people all around the world going through something similar. While nobody knows exactly what you are going through, tons of people can relate to you.
I lost my grandmother about 2 years ago and she was the person I was closest to in the world. Nobody saw her death coming as it was so sudden. It is still hard for me to talk about her and her death but I will never forget her. What helps me when it is one of those day, where the pain feels unbearable, is thinking about how she may be dead but she isn’t gone. She shaped me into who I am today. She gave me my huge imagination From playing with me when I was younger. Pretending that I was a doctor, vet or crime investigator. She is what made me want to be an author, giving me my love of reading and writing. I try to be the best I can be and help people because she always taught me to be kind and care for others.
You don’t have to be depressed about it everyday but also don’t forget about them. There are tons of things that might help you be less sad about the death of someone you care about. You could write poems, stories, or songs about them. You could also try to remember all the memories you had with them or talk to them. The reason I am writing this is because I found myself feeling alone in my grief many many times and nobody should have to feel like that. Death is inevitable but that doesn’t make it any less painful. To me, grief is one of the worst pains you can feel. I have gotten sick to my stomach and felt like there was just no point in life but it got better. It takes time and you never fully get over it but day by day it slowly gets better. One of the main things for me was just to keep having hope and knowing she inspired me to be and do everything I do today
Death will always be a painful subject no matter who you are but there are ways of handling it and there are people to talk to. Even though you don’t fully get rid of the pain, life will all turn out the way it is supposed to turn out. Don’t be afraid of the topic of death just respect it. I know it may seem like the world is ending when you lose a loved one but it is not. Just take it one day at a time or if you need to just take it one minute at a time, do whatever is best for you and your feelings. Nobody can tell you how to feel when it comes to death and nobody can judge you when it comes to grief because we all deal with it. It is not easy to deal with it and there are no wrong ways to deal with it. I hope that you find a way to deal with it that helps you and those you love. I hope this article helped you because it helped me when I was writing it.