Am I in a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is horrible for everyone, in the relationship or close to the people who are. Nobody wants to be in a toxic relationship, but sadly at some stage in life we will all have been in a toxic relationship.


Toxic relationships are the relationships that usually contain, disrespect, any type of abuse whether it be verbal or physical, lies and secret keeping. This may be in a friendship, romantic relationship, or any type of relationship that contains these aspects. Sometimes it may not be obvious that you're in a toxic relationship and that makes it worse.


My experiences with toxic relationships haven't been that many, but the ones I've had are pretty bad. The first major experience I had was only last year, in September. I was in a romantic relationship and I was lied to, disrespected and abused. The person I was with was homophobic, and I didn't know that until I had told them that I was pansexual, and that was when I was abused and called very rude and disrespectful names. I didn't realise what was happening until about three weeks of the disrespect when they had lied to me about one of my friends and I had confronted them of that. They ended up saving and recording the calls and messages that we shared without my consent and threatened to edit them so that it sounded as though I was verbally abusing him rather than the other way around. One of my close friends was actually the one to make me realise that I was in a toxic relationship and without their help it most likely would have gotten worse.


The only way to realise that your not in a healthy relationship and actually in a toxic one is to look back at it all and if you don't know if it is or not, ask some of your close friends on their opinion. I have a few tips to help you decide whether it is a toxic relationship or a healthy one.


1. Do you both trust each other? This is a big question you have to ask yourself, do you trust them with your life and do they trust you back?


2. Is there mutual respect? Do you both have respect for each other? Relationships don't work without respect for each other.


3. Is there any form of abuse? Whether it be verbal threats or verbal and physical abuse, that is definitely a sign that it is a toxic relationship


4. Have either of you lied to the other? This also involves have you been 100% honest with them? If you haven't been completely honest and have lied to one another that is a definite sign that it is a toxic relationship.


That's only a few main tips but they can help you with your decisions. These are the questions my friend asked me to help me realise.


Toxic relationships are horrible, and nobody likes being in one. Being abused is horrible in general, but when its by the person your with or that your friends with is just horrid. Being in a loving relationship and a loving friendship is all anyone wants, so please if your in a toxic relationship or friendship, please, either end the relationship or end the friendship because if they are going to be horrible to you, they don't deserve you. Remember life is what you make it, so fill it with the people who care and make it the best possible life you can have. You deserve it.
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-Alannah