anxiety

what it is like to live with anxiety and it's okay to be yourself! Everyday, all day, every time, life is like this.

Fear, apprehension, pain, worries, fear about what others would say or think about you, afraid of not fitting in or being rejected. Anxious to start a conversation, anxious to show up at meetings. And the worst thing is hiding it all deep inside because you really don't want other people to think you're weak or that you are just that one person who isn't adventurous and doesn't go out at all. But deep inside you really want to go out, you really want to answer a phone call if someone calls you, you really want to feel confident in front of others, but you just can't.

That is what social anxiety is like. My experience with social anxiety is just horrible. But I was/am seeing a therapist. It really isn't easy to work at it, because you will feel like u failed every time u tried. But actually you just can't fail if u tried, because you tried and that means you stepped over your borders! There is not a simply way to just stop it. You have to do it all by yourself. In my case with anxiety I was afraid of everything. Try to imagine, you walk trough the hallway in school and you just feel like everyone is looking at you and you hear their thoughts in your head. You hear that they think ew look at her.. Her face haha!!.. She's fat why is she wearing that.. She would never find someone.. You just feel all the eyes in your back. You get that weird feeling in your stomach and all you wanna do is being alone in a dark room just so no one can see you. Because that's the only situation you feel safe in. You get a panic attack, your heart is gonna beat faster, your arm pits and hands become sweaty and you just can't stop it. Anxiety attacks you. It overwhelms you, and most of the time of u realize you are getting a panic attack you are too late to think about the positives. The way I coped with this was thinking that it's all unrealistic what I think. Because it is. The thoughts that nobody is gonna like you is unrealistic.

The thought that everyone thinks you are ugly is unrealistic. Because every person is different. Every person has another definition of nice or pretty. You're on this earth to live, not to be scared to live. I know it sounds really crazy and easy what I say, but it's one of the best ways to cope with your anxiety. To just think the opposite.. Even if it sounds fake or unreal, you just keep repeating the positive and helping thoughts. And believe me, it really is okay to be yourself! Of course nobody's perfect but I believe that every person is pretty! Because pretty or beauty is not based on shapes and sizes, not on color or skin tones, not by height or weight.

​Try to stop comparing yourself to others, because it's all wasted time. Of course you can think oh that one girl has nice hair, I want that too! And then you go to her and ask her: 'hey I think your hair is really nice! How do you do that'. She probably is a little bit shocked but then she really appreciate it that you like her hair! You see, that is positive thinking. You have to try it, and please don't expect that it is gonna work in like a week. Because it will take much longer! Maybe a year, maybe months, it's all to yourself. Try to say 'I'm good the way I am' in the mirror, or say just something positive everyday. You can think about what you did today, how you look, just something positive. And always remember, it's ok to be me!

Romy