being a transgender teen

Transgender teens are normal teens. We just have a special flourish to us that make us all the more unique. Today, I’m going to be writing about the experiences, the struggles and the complexities of being a transgender teen.

As a female to male transgender 14 year old, I can confirm that it’s difficult. I have no regrets however- I am proud of who I am. The people around me may be hard to get along with but that’s okay. I can’t say that all this came to me in a day because it took lots of time to get to the point I am at. I live in Cambodia, a typically conservative country and my parents alone are tough on LGBT people. I learned how to mute the opinions that brought me down and turn up what made me valid. It was blood, sweat and tears but in the end, it’s worth it because I’ve never been more confident and happy with myself. 

Teenagers already struggle a lot emotionally and when you are an LGBT child, you are more exposed to mental illness and bullying. Being transgender at any age can be difficult- may it be getting people to use your pronouns or name. Perhaps it’s trying to “pass” by societies standards or just trying to feel comfortable in your own body. All transgender people go through these things at some point but the true strength is finding your way out of it and that’s exactly what I intend to help you do today. I have found that when I talk to other transgender teens, it’s that people’s lack of support creates dysphoria and opinions matter a lot more that you want them too. It’s about not being able to find a place where you feel accepted and that worsening your already deteriorating mental health. It’s about looking down at your body and thinking: “I’ll never be me.” This is all normal. You are okay. 

Today in particular, I want to talk about dealing with dysphoria. There are many causes but most of the time it boils down to not feeling comfortable in your body. As I mentioned earlier, the lack of your pronouns being used or name being used can put you down as well but I am here telling you now that you are valid. If someone calls you by your wrong pronouns, you are still who you are- it doesn’t matter what they say because the only person who truly knows you is you. That may be hard to believe but what I can tell you is that it’s so helpful to: 

• Look in the mirror and say: “I am valid. I am (insert your gender identity). It’s perfectly okay to not believe it right away but just the fact that you can say it out loud will help because you are admitting the one thing that you need to hear.
• If you hear anybody else invalidate you or misgender you, remind yourself that you don’t need what they’re saying. You don’t need that negativity and that you are you without fail. 
• Look at yourself- your eyes, your nose, your lips, your skin, your hands. You were built into something wonderful. Something amazing. You’re no mistake- how could something so complex and gorgeous be a mistake? Your brain is just as complex as your body and you should love both equally. 
• If you are struggling, talk to someone! That’s a lot easier said than done but personally, I can offer my time to anybody! On this website, you can find a “message us” box where you can talk to any of us at any time. We love and care about you. 
• If there’s that little voice in the back of your head saying that you aren’t who you are, remember that in your brain, there’s only 1 small voice saying that you aren’t you. Why should you listen to 1 voice when you can listen to everything else pushing you and reassuring you that you are valid. 
• It’s understandable that you want to push yourself and eliminate dysphoria through physical alteration but ALWAYS stay safe. For example, never use ace bandages to bind- they can do permanent damage. I know they help with your dysphoria but your safety and well being come first. 
• And finally, when all has gone and passed, I found a small tip online the other day- imagine whatever negative thing is being said and imagine it in Donald Trump’s voice. Now, it’s so irritating that you really can’t listen to it anymore, right? 

In conclusion, I want you to know that you are beautiful and that you are your gender no matter what anybody else says. You are valid. Say it out loud: “I am valid.” You deserve it because you ARE valid. You are not “faking it” or “confused”. You are who you are. You are an amazing person who just happens to be a lot more wonderfully unique in your own way and you know what- you rock it. 

​Lukas