Sexual Assault is not something easy to deal with. It’s hard mentally and physically — especially on young people who have no fully developed the mental capacity to deal with such a terrible event.
Although it may seem as if the event is the worst thing that can happen, it’s usually the mental torment that you go through afterwards — blaming yourself, thinking that if you had just done something else, flashbacks, complete inability to function normally again etc. It’s a terrible event and often get’s a little gasp when spoken about in places other than a therapists room. It can wound someone sexually and may become the even that triggers asexuality out of fear due to one experience. It’s no secret that this is horrifying difficult to deal with — I’m not going to sugar coat it but it shouldn’t ever be interpreted as something that defines you or something that you will never be able to get over. Yes, it’s difficult but yes, you will be okay in the end. Time heals all wounds and I’m hear to make the process go by quicker.
I am 14 years old. I was sexually assaulted when I was 9. I was molested by a 13 year old. I am okay to admit these things — I’ve come far enough in my own journey to be able to understand how to deal with it and get by. Yes, some parts of my sexual identity may be affected by this experience but I’m okay now and I’m happy with myself. I’m taking my own personal demons and using them as an example to help you overcome your own. I know that person was bad and I know I didn’t deserve it. It took me a long long time but I got there and so can you.
So here I want to address the usual problems encountered after being assaulted. Many find that after being assaulted, the first thing that they think is that they’ve lost their “purity”. Please remember that purity is only a concept that was pounded into your mind by adults obsessed with how you want to live — there’s no such thing as someone who’s more pure than others so please remember that because you got assaulted doesn’t mean you are now by default impure and you deserved it which is intact another misconception. You never deserve sexual assault. Ever. You may suffer from PTSD and remember thats completely normal and part of the healing process — you will be okay. Remember that those are just memories and not reality. You are not strange or bad, you are suffering and that’s what I want you to get out of the mindset of. I realize that there may be physical effects that serve as a constant reminder of your pain and it’s so important to understand that it isn’t a symbol of your pain, it’s a symbol of your survival. You made it through alive and you’re strong for being able to do that.
In conclusion, I want you to remember that you’re okay. Even if it doesn’t feel like it now. Even if it doesn’t feel like it in 5 years. You will be okay and you are already so far along the healing process. I’m so proud that you got through the actual assault and you’re here now trying to find ways to heal. I love you. You’re strong. Stay safe my lovelies.
Teenagers With Experience is an organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people. You can contact us via email, social media or our contact form found on our home page.