It's sometimes hard to tell if what you are feeling is 'normal' and the truth is, there is no normal way to think. Each mind is unique and while everyone suffers from bad days, different events, actions or people can trigger confusing emotions depending on the person. One of the main problems about suffering with depression as a teenager is the fact that in most cases you can find it hard to actually express your feelings. In these moments, your mind is literally your worse enemy and can overthink everything to the point where you let go and think: nothing is worth it.
I personally have reached the feeling of numbness in the past. And for a while it becomes blissful. The darkness seems to become an outlet for all the bad things that weigh down your mind. You can simply let go. However, this is not healthy. Even though it is sometimes easier to give up, forget your problems, just drift... It can lead to worse problems.
Firstly, this state of mind leads to more loneliness. If anyone is feeling this way I urge them to reach out to someone, anyone. Contradicting popular opinion, sometimes it isn't easy to tell a teacher, parent or friend. But there are many safe chats for people who are the same age and are feeling the same way (like teenagers with experience for example.) Talking to a stranger can sometimes be more helpful. Unleashing your inner demons on a friend can be scary as there is always the fear that they may not understand, could judge you, or would stop seeing you in a different light. With a stranger, there is no fear of this. Connecting with others is a good way to make yourself feel whole again. Even if taking the first step takes a while.
Anxiety is also a major problem. I have the tendency to worry over the slightest problems or "make mountains out of mole hills" as they say. I find that if I have no significant problems or worries, then it's like I have to find something to stress about. Because I'm not allowed to be happy right? For example, focusing so much on a trip to the shops and stressing about every single thing that could go wrong starts to wear away at your mind. I have developed some ways in which I deal with stress, anxiety or just bad days. Here are a few of them:
-I find that sometimes lists can help. Because I stress a lot over things, listing all of the possible outcomes or the things that are worrying me can actually help me to logically think things through. Listing all of the things that make you happy can also help, it gives you motivation.
- Sometimes, you can lose interest in the things that you normally enjoy. For example, reading. Trying to find new things that excite you can help to keep your mind of the bad things going on. Everyone needs time to relax, and finding a passion can give this release.
-Facing a problem straight away can be helpful. It means that you have less time to stew and worry over something that is not worth it.
Remember, everyone has suffered from these things at some point, even if they don't realise it. The best thing to do is to try and find motivation, even though this can be hard, it leads to better things.
Don't bottle up your emotions- at some point they will burst free whether you planned it or not. Some people may not be able to understand where these feelings or thoughts have come from. So talking about it is always a good idea.
Good luck, I know you can do it. You may not believe in yourself or the future but there are people who care. People like me for instance.
If I did it, so can you.
Be safe and happy. :)
Teenagers With Experience is an organisation created to provide teenagers worldwide with an online platform to share their own experiences to be able to help, inform and educate others on a variety of different topics. We aim to provide a safe space to all young people. You can contact us via email, social media or our contact form found on our home page.