domestic abuse

TRIGGER WARNING

Hi, I’m Ellie and today I will be covering the topic of domestic abuse. 

Domestic abuse is defined as all acts of physical, sexual, psychological and economic violence that may be committed by a family member or an intimate partner. In the Uk only, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be affected by domestic abuse. Also it is horrifying to find out that it is the single most quoted reason for homelessness. Furthermore, many of those who have reported domestic abuse are repeat victims.

Personally, I have never been in an abusive relationship however my mum has, therefore this affected me greatly and shaped me into the person I am today. What happened to my mum is truly terrible (leave this page now if you are triggered easily or are squeamish) and I will share this with you simply so you can understand. The person she was with, let’s call them X, was a disgusting, vile person who hurt my mum emotionally and physically. X hit her, bit her, stabbed her and ironed her. X only did one thing to me which was pull me across the room by my hair. This abuse went on for years and after 5 years she finally plucked up the courage to call the police. X is now in jail and will be for roughly 10 years (which isn’t enough in my opinion)

For me personally, it really hurt me because my mum was the closest person to me however our lives have gotten so much better since X got arrested. In my opinion, the best thing to do is to realise that not everyone will treat you the way the domestic abuser did. This was the hardest thing for me to overcome because of what X did to my mum. I had really bad trust issues for a while and I hated my mum’s new boyfriend; I was so protective of her because I didn’t wanted her to get hurt again. My trust issues also messed with my own relationships, thus making them not last long.

Another piece of advice I have is to talk to someone about it, they will most likely understand and may even relate to your situation as it is very common. If it is one of your family members that is the abuser talk to a teacher, a close friend or your partner. If it is your partner who is the abuser talk to a family member, a teacher or a friend.
You can always contact LWA if you are going through these problems because they are there to help.
Just call 0300 365 0112
You can also write a letter to them or get help through email. 

In conclusion, if you are in an abusive relationship, tell someone. You need to stay strong and realise that this is not your fault. Many abusers have mental health problems and usually do it to make up for the pain they experience in their life. You are important and beautiful. Someone will always be there for you. Always.

Thank you for reading,
Ellie x