Falling out with friends and how to feel okay

Many of us find it very difficult, and painful to fall out with the people closest to us. In this weeks article I will be talking about how I have managed to deal with the heartbreak & pain of perhaps falling out with friendship groups, losing best friends or perhaps someone you never thought you'd lose.


From personal experience I know that it is often very difficult to adjust to a situation in which you no longer are as close with someone as you were for a certain length of time. I was recently inspired to write this article as I have in fact lost my best friend of 12 years due to changes in college. A lot of people that perhaps read these articles are of similar ages to myself and others who write & learning to re-adjust to friendships can be very difficult. 


I've learnt that putting the blame onto another person is never ever the way to deal. Unless they are entirely in the wrong, friendships usually come to an end due to both sides. Accepting that perhaps you are both changing as people, and meeting new friends and becoming apart of new groups is a massive part of growing up! It is often very upsetting when we lose those we thought we never would, however there are some excellent ways to cope with that. A great way I am coping is to focus on the people I have around me now, although it may be very different, and perhaps unsettling, there is no harm in treating them as if you had known them for as long as you have known that of the person you lost. New friendships are incredible! Especially if you are with them as you have found many common interests. Learn to love these people deeply and aim to keep them in your life! Do as much as you can with them, but have the intention of doing this to spite ex-friends as that will cause a lot of strain on yourself and often others. Try your best not to talk about ex-friends to much in negative ways, it'll only bring your own mood down and often can make you quite angry. In time things will get better, try messaging ex-friends and talking like you used to if you are unsure of why you are so distant- it is common that they are feeling the same way too. Arrange to meet up with ex-friends when the tension has died down, more often than not, it is an incredible way to reconnect and you may not be as close but having them in your life is still a major step forward! 


Although losing friends may be very upsetting, gaining new ones is not, and it should be something to be happy about. This does not mean you should cancel out the feelings of sadness towards ex-friends, it's good to feel sad! However, always try and look for positives, search for the hope that reconnecting is there, don't hold grudges, they become painful and sickening to yourself, only causing more problems. Be strong and be kind & everything will find it's way back into place eventually. 

​Emie