During your life you will make and lose friendships. It’ll never be easy.
Four years of high school. For three of those years I was in one friendship group. I never left it and it was always just us. Me and three other girls, one of which, i’d been friends with for 7 years. After a while things got hard. We fell out a lot and I ended up being very down because of it. I felt like my friends that I trusted the most hated me for some reason. I ended moving from all my lessons in school and made new friends.
We didn’t speak for a year straight. During that time I felt happier that I didn’t have to worry about them anymore, but I also felt pushed down by the fact that we didn’t finish the friendship on good terms. That weighed on me for a while. All though I was hurt from the whole experience, I still didn’t want to have a grudge against anyone. I’d rather be civil with them than have an enemy.
After a year of talking I ended up writing the friend I was closest to a letter. I stated how although what happened hurt, I didn’t want to have to feel uncomfortable or awkward when we were near each other in school. It was a nice feeling to give it to her after not speaking and being on bad terms for a year.
She wrote back agreeing and apologised for the way things happened and I the weight that lifted off my shoulders was incredible.
My experience helped me realise how friendships can affect your happiness, but you can do something to help improve or even solve the situation. Social groups and friendship groups seem like everything at some point in your life, but I can assure you that although it feels like everything is at end because you’re having trouble with friendship, it’ll be over if you do something about it, whether it’s get in contact with your friend again, or cut ties. Just make sure to do whatever you have to do for your benefit. If you put the issue behind you just to satisfy others, it’ll drag you down, just like it did for me.
There are several ways you can solve this issue you may be having.
Firstly, depending on the situation, and you think you could solve it and still be friends as an outcome, I suggest talking to them but not via social media. Someone can say anything behind a screen but I think speaking face to face, or perhaps a letter is more meaningful and can put the situation as ease a lot quicker than it would through text.
Secondly, you can make new friends. I know it can be hard depending on who you are and what your personality is, but you can do it, whether it be online (always be careful though) or in school. I made friends by messaging other people in school, as I found it hard to make friends face to face, and I became close with them online, then gradually became closer with them in school. After moving all of my classes, I was in most of them with my new friends and I became so much happier. Keeping your old friends is okay, but spread your variety and get yourself out there, you can rely on a lot more people than you may think. Someone is always there be a good friend, you just have to figure out how to find them!
Thirdly is to go to someone. I recommend doing this one anyway, as well as the first two. If it weren’t for my mum and my teachers, I think I would have been stuck in my situation alone. My mum comforted me after I came home crying from school each day, until she called my learning mentor at school. The next day during lessons, she came and spoke to me about my options and how to make myself happier and this is when she suggested me moving lessons. She and my mum really helped me out during this time and I think if you have the opportunity for someone to help you out in this situation like they did for me, you should 100% take it.
I hope you can get out of your friendship problems quickly because I understand how hurtful some situations can be.
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Thank you for reading.
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The articles here are written by guest writers or previous TWE members.