Listening to what's healthy

Sometimes in relationships, we need to take a step back to assess the situation because it’s important to look at things from a different perspective making sure that it is still healthy.

For example, if you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a long time, you tend to develop trust. So, if they turn out not to be the person you thought they were, it can be a lot harder to let them go. They’ve been a part of your life for so long, that the thought of erasing them from the equation can make some feel uncomfortable, as it becomes a big change and feelings are involved. Your other friends and family, who can look at things from an alternative perspective, can see how wrongly you are being treated, but if you push these people away because you’re so invested in your life with this unhealthy relationship you can lose these people in the long run.

My advice would be to talk to your friends and family. I’m not saying that the people who have been around you for longer are always right; but they know you best and if multiple friends and family agree that something is unhealthy then its likely that they just want to help you. Then, it’s really in your hands. If you feel that you are being lied to/mistreated, then you can tell whoever you are in the relationship that things aren’t working for you, and take a step back. The person, if they truly care for you they will be understanding. If this is the case, and you want to try and repair your relationship, then this could be possible however you have to monitor the change carefully and keep stepping back to see that the fact that you want them to change isn't effecting your ability to see change. Sometimes, emotional attachment can blind people’s perspectives. 
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As a friend, if you see something is wrong in your friend's relationship, absolutely alert that person, or people who you trust will talk to them in a controlled and compassionate manner. This helps prevent controlling friendships and abusive relationships; things that, I’m sure you’ll agree, need to be stopped.

​Savannah