It can be a really hard time when your parents decide to split up or get a divorce, especially when it is an angry break up. But you are not alone. This generation of children has the highest divorce rate, and plenty of others know exactly what you are going through.
Parents splitting up can mean a variety of different things. You may have to sell your house and move into a new, potentially smaller one. You might not see one parent every day as you used to. It's very upsetting to see two people who were once in love to dislike each other, and it's even worse if you didn't even know it was coming. For me it was pretty clear for a couple of years that things weren't going too well, but I never realised the extent of it and when they told me I burst into tears. Even though it's a sad time, we cannot let it affect us too badly, because things will soon be much better.
If your parents have told you that they are splitting up, it's ok to be upset, but it is good to talk it through with them to see exactly what is going to happen.
- If you want to know why, you can ask but be prepared for it to be upsetting and negative
- Ask whether you will be moving house, and perhaps whether you could help to find new accommodation (this really helped me because it gave me something positive to look forward too when I was feeling sad)
- Talk about who you wish to stay with permanently, and if you will be able to visit the other parent (which you should be able to, unless you do not want to, nobody is forcing you to!)
- Take time to think about how good and happy things should be after, and relax in the evenings so you can sleep and not be worrying. Take a hot bath, read a good book or watch a film you love.
- If it is negatively impacting you very strongly, talk to other people about it like friends or counsellors as these people can help you feel better.
Staying happy is the most important things to do. Try to think about the happy things that are coming out of this negative one. The fact that I was going to get a bigger bedroom made me very happy! And if your parents are strange, like mine, and move close together then be thankful that you can see them often!