rejection from a hobby

Feeling rejected or unwanted is never a good thing, but sadly we all feel it at some point in our lives, particularly as a teenager. Whether you didn't make a sports team, didn't get into the college/university you wanted, or even being rejected by a partner, friend or family member. It hurts. 


Last year, I decided to audition for my schools musical. I love drama and dance but sadly, when I sing I sound like a dying whale. Sure, you might be wondering why I even auditioned if I can't sing, but I just wanted to be involved and not have a main role. I spent a lot of time getting worked up about the audition and trying to practise and now I realise I panicked a lot for nothing. 
The worse thing was all my friends getting in and I didn't. Even someone who didn't even sing somehow managed to get in, which made me realise how terrible I probably was. Then having to see posters up all around the school and hear everyone talking about it, it was just like a reminder of how much of a failure I was. It felt like everyone knew and there was no escape from it. I was so embarrassed. 


Despite this not being a practically nice experience, I realised that there are some good sides. I tried to do something new, and even if it didn't work out, it brought me out of my comfort zone. Now I feel like if I can get through that and accept it, I don't need to be scared of failure anymore. Instead of beating myself up about it, I think of how strong I am to not give up my passion. I still do drama, and I love it. It's all about how you decide to look at things. 
It's hard at first, and it feels like you are lying to yourself just to feel better, but trust me. Accepting things like this take a while, especially if it's something you REALLY wanted, and I know a lot of people have been rejected from things what they really wanted and that they probably feel a lot worse than me. Whatever it is, whether it is big or small, it can still eat away at your feelings and make you insecure. To others, it might seem like nothing. But it affects people more than you might realise. 


Don't be too harsh on yourself. Make a list of all the good things you have done to help you recognise your achievements. Talk to someone about it. Ask them to tell you what they think your strengths are. It is important to appreciate yourself. You are so much more amazing and talented than you realise. It feels like everyone is judging you for your mistakes, but in reality they have probably forgotten about it, and you should too. Things like writing your feelings down and meditating so that you can really get your head around your thoughts is really helpful. When you are ready, try something new again, wether it's the same thing again or something completely different. Don't let mistakes stop you. 


From my experiences with rejection, I feel like I have grown as a person. Some days it's easy to look back at all my mistakes and let them eat away at me, but then I remember that when I'm older I can just look back and laugh. Even now, I can say that I got through it and I haven't let it get the better of me. I just want you to know that you are worth so much more than your mistakes, and you shouldn't let them blind you from your own success. Me and the rest of TWE will always be here if you just want to talk to someone about anything. 

​Ella