Queer and religious.
Its a rough life lemme tell you that. The lgbtq community tells you, you can't be religious. And your religion tells you, you can't be queer. But you can. No matter your religion, God, or Allah, or Yaweh, forgives. And loves unconditionally.
Being queer is hard enough on its own, but add religious to the mix? You're screwed. You're basically a walking oxymoron. Personally, I am homo/panromantic and Christian. And I'm not going to lie to you, it's hard. Changing your personality around your friend groups, being queer and coming from a religious family, coming out to religious family, hiding your life from people at your church/mosque/synagogue. But it's not impossible.
Recently I wore nail polish (because fuck gender roles). My little brother and sister saw, and we're surprised and first but really didn't care, but as soon as we got into the car with my very Christian grandmother she lost her shit. Telling me that I needed to take it off and that it wasn't right and that if I was gay I didn't need to flaunt it. Basically making me feel like shit on the way to see The Jungle Book. I guess she just doesn't understand that clothes and accessories/makeup doesn't have a gender.
When I got home I could hear my mom on the phone with her, I could pick up bits and pieces like “you're embarrassed? I'm embarrassed that you said that” and “who cares? It's just fucking nail polish” (I know I know my mom is great). But this is just one time out of thousands where queer kids are shamed by religious family. I haven't talked to my grandmother since.
I learned that no matter how hard you try, some people just won't change and are blinded by their beliefs. My grandma loves me with all her heart, but because that I wore nail polish she was embarrassed of me. Some beliefs are rooted so deep you can't change their perspective.
When a religious family member or friend, shames or verbally attacks you because of your sexuality, let them finish what they need to say and then sit down with them. Tell them you understand where they're coming from, but they really hurt you. And try to educate them. If they just won't listen. Tell them you won't apologize for who are, and they if they can't accept you, you don't need them in your life.
I'm sorry, I know it sucks
Much love, Akira💛
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